Enough with these low doses, I feel like some real therapy.
A strong dose of some rather rare material, a designer dissociative
once highly popular, now virtually extinct: methoxetamine.
I disperse 47 milligrams into water and sup it, tentatively.
I feel the usual fear as a foreign chemical enters my brain en masse
and begins to alter the fabric of my mind.
It has a relatively long come-up, 45-90 mins.
In due time the chaos begins, I drift off into that aeon M-verse.
Eventually I get comfortable and listen to Skyrim atmospheres.
I have an epistmic vision, a vision of human knowledge as
increasingly ubiquitous, in line with the proliferation of modern ICT.
The use of tools, of signs and language is a gift unlike any other.
That we might imagine the past or a future. We are most fortunate
to have these stories, concepts and imaginings,
Things that allow us to venture beyond our home;
Things to remind us there's something to come back to.
They ask us what we want
and we answer: to share in this.
It asks me what I want and I answer:
To contribute, to feel this wash me away
such that I am no longer marooned.
Methoxetamine, or MXE, first appeared in 2010.
It became highly popular as a legal alternative to ketamine.
It is more potent, has a longer duration, and possesses serotonergic affinity which makes for a subjectively warmer experience.
It was quickly banned but continued to circulate for a few years.
Only a few compounds manage this transition from grey to black market (e.g. mephedrone).
In 2015 a precursor ban halted the global supply of MXE.
It vanished from online sources and is now presumed extinct.