For years
I have watched
my friends get loved
and then get botched
For years I have seen
everyone having someone
everyone but me
For years
I haves dreamed
of what boy I would find
and how he would gleam
For years
I have lust
for something other
than just a friend
and my search so far has been a bust

if i cried myself a river
i would build a boat
and sail away

Frankenstein
is just life
in person

Long
Lonely
dark midnights
beautiful yet
this dark night is a
nightmare in the making

I used to walk
I used to talk
but now I just sit in my room
staring at a blank wall

To you it’s just a word
a word that no matter how many times said
it is always ignored
if I were to give you every reason in the world to do so
you still wouldn’t listen to our pleas
and if we can’t strut the way you want us to
we would be shunned
but if we strutted just how barbie should
you would approach and without asking
take control
I remember teachers saying to cover up our shoulders
but I never heard them tell the boys to stop staring
stop, I said it and I won’t stop until you do
I will fight you because you need to know when enough
is enough
when you were little i’m sure you didn’t lift up little girls dresses
or catcall them just for the pleasure
what happended
to the sweet dandelions that you handed us
or the cheesy love notes being passed from desk to desk
no you stopped with that
because if you continued it would be a sign of weakeness
a sort of loss of “manhood”
but I tell you now a girl would rather have a bouquet of weeds
than a hand up her skirt
so stop

Feel your heartbeat
and listen to it say
I love you
Let your hearbeat feel you
and listen to you say
I love you

If there was an end
the end of the world
I would sail to its highest point
and gaze into its eyes
and never go back

If you just heard
a loud noise
it was my heart
breaking
again

The words I speak
The things I do
are permanently written
on my tombstone

Hey, when you smile
The world tends to smile back
And you forget fear

empty promises
sinking into black water
in hopes to return to the surface

I realized someday

I will have to bury her

that her, my mother

It never said
Humpty Dumpty
was an egg

I see the shower floor
The grated tiled housing tiny drops of water
soap cloaks me as it is my only protection
the fresh scent of vanilla is what helps me
It helps me get through my day
I earn compliments meant for the soap
I earn smiles and whistles thanks to the soap
I feel the oil begin to sink into my skin
My heart rejects it
My brain tells me no
My eyes and nose say yes
I need compliments to make me feel good
don’t I?

T
H
E
Apples they crunch
in my teeth and feel my
mouth with sweetness it is
an odd feeling of relaxation I
feel loved by this apple if you
understand what I mean I
take each bite and feel
normal for once
_________

Don’t
jump
cut
or
cover
up
your
true beauty

You know them
beautiful yet
they frighten you
climbing into
innocence
and then they just
haunt you forever

Today
I went to war
Tomorrow
I’m wishing I kissed mama “bye”
Yesterday
I regret ever signing up for this

It strikes from above

and the people below

better wish for a miracle.

or else they never

survive

Just
sitting
crying in
a locked room still
waiting for this long
nightmare to be over with