How rawly alive we are;
In the light of day.

Some things are so pure
That you know God made them.

Like paper, crisp and new
And a winter's night,
Observed, warmly from inside.

Something about snow and paper,
And simple things, as such
That say so little,
And offer so much.

And on this paper, I’d like to say
That I am here today,
and I don’t have much to write,
But whatever I can offer, I give to you,
It isn't much, aside from the truth
That life resides within this flesh.

It woke me this morning, with it’s own will.

And it speaks its own words here
Commanding my body to obey and covey
What it has to say,
Which again – isn’t much
Aside from the truth, that I lived today
That on a crisp autumn morning,
With winter nearby.

And I can imagine and feel, what’s behind and ahead
And the white of night
In soft winter glow –
It eases my soul.

There are things in this life that I love,
They are mostly simple and pure
Impermanent as snow
And as blank as paper.

I see myself there.

Life, write your words over me.
For soon I will fade like snow

Into something new
And although I don’t know where I will go,
But I don’t much mind.

As long as I leave some good words behind
And melt into something life-giving.

I used to love,
You know.
It broke my heart
Like the New Orleans dam.

Somehow, it got too full
This heart of mine.

And out, it started pouring.

Out it goes, still.
This love in my heart.

Back, we descend.
Into the sea.

I know the song of the summer
It sings to me “enjoy”
In yellow hues and aqua greens
Velvet valore on the skin of my teeth
It sweeps my face and kisses my cheek
Oh, sweet song of summer
You make me complete.

I know you’re holding back a little
But I don’t think I will.

Because that's not who I am
And I'd rather lose you
Than lose myself to you
By holding my breath.

Although I stand
Alive and alone,
With my words and my breath
Outside of me

It creates a space
for God to fill.

Let me stand outside in the rain
With my mouth wide open.

With calloused feet and open eyes and a blazing heart
I run through high grass, unforged before
And I wipe my own tears from my face.

And I dance with Christ
beside rushing rivers.

And I breathe life in
And I want to be seen.

And I try so hard to trust in God.
And I kneel before him.
And I weep as I write.

And I am humbled by life,
and all of my losses.

And I Rise.

The soles of my feet were not born strong
Obedience and grace built them that way.

And if I had one thing to do with my life.
I would continue to give it all away.

People are people.
And life is hard.

I’ll arch my spine
so you can see
the ribs in my chest,
the essence of me.

Let the bones
erupt from my core.
This heart doesn’t need
a cage anymore.

Day, break over me
Let your sunny-side yolk
Wash over me.

Draped across a bed
of sleepy green clovers
Wet with morning dew.

I begin again,
Anew.

I was never yours
To put me down
So don’t try to put me down, now.

When I was never yours to start.

I was always too much for you.
And you couldn’t lift me up to start,

So don’t try to put me down now
When I’m already down and out.

I thirst
For knowledge
And meaning
And sensation
And feeling

And to be desired
And to quench my desires
And to sleep peacefully
In the arms of another

And to know God

And to eat fresh fruit
Plucked from trees

And to roam
With my ancestors
Among olive trees

And to feel my feet
On dewy grass
In the springtime

And to know youth again

And to give to the hands of the needy
And to receive gratefully, what I need

And to celebrate
For eternity
At a long, wooden table
Among full, smiling faces
Of those I adore.

let's be children again
and roam the streets
on hot summer days
with nothing to complete

I can sense before with such sweetness, that spring.
Although at the time, all I could feel was the rain.

It's late in the summer now.
And God willing, I'll still be here when autumn comes.

Perhaps then, in retrospect,
the summer will not seem so hot.

Deep in every eye is a soul—
And there is only one like that.

And every word spoken
Is a human attempt,
to convey the complexity
of an utterly unique human experience
never to be had again.

And our bodies contain—
for a moment in time—
the power
to create life.

And when we pass,
we will be gone, forever.

I am human
and I have lived, and breathed, and seen...
and fallen and stood,
and loved and lost.

And I seek.
And I seek.

And I breathe, and I look, and I live.

And I live.
And I love.
And I see.

Once the summer passes,
It’s really gone.

Never to return
In that particular, summer flavor.

So sweetly savored—
Or perhaps eagerly consumed,
Without a moment to enjoy...

Tides have come to rise and fall
over familiar sands

Many suns and moons
have shone upon shores

Children have laughed,
Mothers have rested.

Ice cream has melted
Down sticky hands.

Hot, starry skies
Have nurtured romance...
and reflected love
in innocent eyes

Life has bloomed
And as it appears-
And nothing has died.

But when summer passes,
It’s really gone.

Like the tide, the moon and the sun
Again to rise
In its rightful time...

There are no numbers to the days,
or the words i have written.
Life cannot be contained by
something so linear.

Life is more like a word  -
or a gesture -
or breath...

But certainly not a clock,
represented by digits -
fleeting and repeating...

No, life is more like a dance.
with a partner who
gazes deeply upon you,
and moves you
in ways you could have never imagined.

Only to vanish -
mid-dance.

How kind life can be
when she cradles me
as peacefully,
night falls.

The cerulean sky beats with life
And the homes stand still beneath her.
And the trees lift their tender branches,
Wet with morning dew,
Toward her vital hue.

From my window
I watch life wake.

Alive-
Another day.

Gray pours over everything
Covering life with dust.

Of which I was made,
And which I will return.

I am ready to rip the white off these walls.
I am ready to destroy them.

Only to notice,
In that courageous moment...
That one of the four is missing.

Marvelous splendor
The eyes delight
God’s thumbprint upon
This magical sight

She wears herself
And nothing more
Standing true
In her natural form

Beauty is,
Not symmetry
Beauty is
Simply to be

God made you, you
And nothing more
So wear it proud
And wear it strong

There is only one you
On the face of this earth
And someone out there
Can see all your worth

Without you changing
A single thing -
Your beauty is in
Your true being

So let your light
Shine through today
So God can delight
In what he has made.

Alas, Spring is here!

A fine young woman
Hearty and young
Full of life

Plump and fertile
With pale white skin
Pink cheeks, lively eyes
And brown curls around her face

Her arms are full
With flowers of yellow and white
And she carries loaves of bread
In a sack on her back

Children skip behind her
In streams of laughter
And she leaves a trail
Of petlas on their path

She wears a halo of sun
Above her full face

And a flower crown
On her soft bed of hair

She breaths warmth on the days
Melting mornings like butter

And when she cries, it rains
And the town becomes silent
Giving room to the boom
Of her sorrowful roars

And when it is finished
She sings with joy
And the birds chime in
And the grass lifts
And horses drink peacefully
From a nearby stream

And the sky outpours its light
Affirming all will be alright

People rush from their doors
To observe the spring fair
Enjoying her celebratory visit
As the earth opens up,
To give way to life.

And when she leaves
Ever-so-quietly one night,
Her sister comes knocking,
Early in the next morning
With her fire red hair and safari eyes
Jumping and dancing and kissing the moon
Summer has arrived-

Followed by father autumn,
Whose quiet power
Sways life from the trees.
And mother winter,
Who brings comfort and rest
With her blanket of white.

Till' again spring returns
And all the world rejoices
At the arrival of their favorite guest,

Generous and humble
Marvelous,
Spring.

Silent streets beckon,
Wide and empty, like an open hand
A gentle pull back to before

When summer heat
Danced from the streets
Melting time like Dali’s clock
As the night sky poured out her stars
Into our eager and open eyes

When opportunity rushed in
On autumn leaves
Sweeping out the old
In a blue sky breeze

And curtains burst open
On a crisp winter's morning,
Revealing a portrait of white
In a wide and timeless sky

When alone
Was just a seed,
A fantasy of youth,
Yet to reveal
Its perfect purple pedals,
Only to the moon

And racing feet
Kissed the dew
On tender springs buds
Bursting with life.

How gentle a time,
It was to be young,
When all four seasons were ahead.

Today is one day
Just like the rest,
But unlike the others
It is here
Now.

Unlike tomorrow,
It holds the promise
Of existence.

And unlike yesterday
It provides opportunity
For change.

Today, her majesty
Is all we have.

When we salute her sunrise
And give way to her glory.

The shadows of yesterday
Come to rest
And the worries of tomorrow ease

And today opens her royal gates
To let in the living.

I am wrapped up in yesterday,
Tied in the knots of my heart,
Bound by my regrets of the night.

Restless, I am,
Eager to escape to before
When it was evening
And there was opportunity
To do right

But rather,
It is morning
And i am trapped in the pit of my chest
A prisoner to the night
Without a chance for change.

Let a single ray of day shine upon me
As I sit in this pit of mourning.
Let it warm the fibers of my heart,
So they grow loose
And I can step out, into the day.

And let me say sorry,
By how I live
Today.

If I were to paint this grief,
I would use the sky as my canvas,
And it wouldn’t be great enough

If I were to sculpt this shame,
I would shape a new universe,
still too small to contain.

And if I were to sing this pain,
It would rumble the earth
Rise the tides
And shake the sun out of the sky

If I were to write this regret,
I would use every word,
In every language,
But still, it would be incomplete.

Nothing can convey
the state I am in.

The best I can do is pray it
And say Lord, have mercy.
Only you know my pain and my sorrow,
Let your light shine upon me,
And make me new.

Only you know me.
Christ have mercy
On me, a sinner.

Trees in the breeze
Sun on the skin
Love in the heart

Quiet contentment—
Filled with a subtle hunger
For what tomorrow will bring

Knowing, without thought
That everything will be ok.

Nothing wrong,
Nothing right.

But everything
Perfectly,
Peacefully
And quietly-
Okay
Today.

And full of pleasure
In what rests ahead.

The sky is heavy,
with moon to-night.
Pregnant with moon,
To-night.

Soon, tomorrow will come --

A fresh new day,
Full of Light
and Life.

I am my father's daughter

Let me rejoice!
For just a breath,
In the simple truth

That this is enough.

Half way
Presents two choices
Easeful - down
Or challenge - up
I think I’ll take the ladder.

As time fades
the light of omnipotence
into dull hues of frailty

I turn to God, instead.
He will make it all okay.

As my mother did
When, as a child
I crawled into her arms
And all my troubles went away.

It is far more challenging
To return again

Than it is,
Simply to stay
All the while.

Despite the trouble
This staying contains.

I imagine
Forgiveness
As a fountain,
Always running...

Regardless of  
the thirsty, poor -
- always taking

Always pure,
Regardless of corruption,
from the ignorant,
innocent youth.

We have all taken
what is not ours
and given
what we should have
kept to ourselves.

But forgiveness,
in her faithful way,

Never stops
producing more
chances to
Triumph.

She leaves,
And he stays.
She takes,
And he gives.
She strikes,
And he endures...

All the while seeing
Her loving,
Tender ways
Despite this - temporary -
darkness.

Lord, release my heart
From this cage it’s in

I need to breath
Fresh air

I am full of fire
And resentment

Encased and surrounded by the past
Which has become my present
And my future

Unable to change him,
Loving and tender.

He cares for himself
Foremost
And I, foremost for him.

Will there always be something to stomp over?
Will there ever be more than a glimpse of time when this agitated soul of mine -
can settle and rest and in ease?
Will this being, of me, always be looking for more..
Or trying to escape?

Why can’t I be more like my grandma -
Simple and humble
Enduring and strong
Gentle and caring
Quick to forgive...

Why must I cling so tightly to my pain,
As though without it i would be lost
How can I learn to just put it down and rest -
Forgive…

When i am angry enough
To tear down the walls around me
And become a beast
Capable of destruction

While all the while
I just want to stop
And smile…

But i can’t
Not truly.
This smile is flat.
A weak attempt to endure, like Nanoo
And forgive.

But it is beyond my capacity,
And I need space-

So i do not destroy
Everything around me.

How much pain i have endured already
Waiting and clinging
To something wild, untame
Lashing me forward and back
Without rest or pause
I am exhausted
And still attempting to hold on
And tame this beast-

And at the same time,
I am ready to match him.
To let go, and face him head on
A bull fight.

For although I am tired,
I have grown strong from all of this holding
Back and fourth -
Up and down.

A moment of rest -
Then jolted awake...
I’ve grown agile,
And quick on my feet.

But how much longer can I endure?
I am tired.
And angry..
And stuck...
Between letting go,
A sad surrender.
Or holding on
With the strong hope
That i can survive.

As I grow older,
And my muscles decay
Will I be able to hold on?
Or will I be thrown vigorously to the ground
After years of battle,
Tired and broken,
With nothing left to hold on to.

Why can’t i be more like my grandma?
Simple and humble..
Enduring and strong..

I have found
That love is
A series of small quirks
That one finds endearing
By either familiarity
Or novelty
Or a delightful combination of both

And the challenge ensues
When the familiar turns novel
Or the novel grows familiar

And we must learn to love
This strange new series of quirks
All over again...

So long I’ve been searching
For me.

And finally I see,

I am a wall
That knocks itself down.

And using the pieces,
I build a new wall.

One with a window.

Until I become all empty space.
Above a mound of my remains.

Pain is never wasted
So long as she
Gets her point across

why does it feel
on this dark and dreary day
that all light and love is behind me,

evaporated into nothing.

while before me,
everything is as dim and heavy as this moment
when only nothing exists.

oh what a weight, us humans bear
on our frail bones

we all know alone
and how heavy it is

no-one can carry alone alone
and at the same time-
no-one is there to help.

Walking through water
doesn’t seem so hard
til' you've gone so far
you just can't turn back.

And so, you sink.

his feet drag
too weak to lift
he shuffles to the alter

patiently waiting his turn
to receive the body
of Christ, his savor

head down
back arched like a cane
brittleness pronounced
in every step

his life, lived
he simply waits
for what is before him

when his turn approaches
he crosses his arms
above his frail chest
and bows his head
unworthy to receive

yet a blessing lands upon him
and fills his empty, humble spirit
with a restoring light of Truth.

pink
open
soft

sweet
hues
delight

"take"
she says
with her gentle, open glow
resting calmly as they enter

her scent affirming
that life's purpose
is to live.

and when the sun fades her pink
into warm shades of brown
and her nectar runs dry
and life passes by,
without pausing to feed or delight.

gently and humbly
she releases all of herself
petal by petal
into the earth

saying - "take..."

weightless white snow
lays a blanket of peace
over all of the earth
as music sings
in soft whispers
across the globe

"I didn't mean to ignore you" she said both genuinely and proudly.

Dually proud.
One, for her ability to evoke emotion in him, through her simple act of nothing.
And two, that it had been so very 'nothing' to her, that she very genuinely didn't know she was doing this act of nothing.

Ignorance, ignoring...
What’s the difference?
She was innocent.

Regardless, she moved through the circumstance
Something like a maverick
Cunning her way in and out of his heart...

Stitching it up,
a poor repair,
one that was soon to rupture again
surely worse next time.

But the remedy consoled him
And imagining her essence
hazily around him,
he fell into a dreamy slumber...

Until the next time she awoke him
with her jolting and revolting
Chilling and thrilling
Weary, weary...

Nothing.

90 degrees
hot summer morning
8 am

same time every day
white shirt buttoned up
sweat insulating
his paper skin beneath

Hands firmly gripping the handles of his walker
with the same determination
that he has for life

not letting go

morning after morning
buttoning that shirt
tying those tarnished shoes

and down the hot and busy road
against the traffic and the rushing young
whose fleeting eyes somehow miss
this pure dart of life

Gaze fixed upon his target;
the next step.

He proceeds...

When we grow old
And our bones become brittle
The falls of our youth
With a proud smile
Of the strength we once endured

Rushing waters
Of trust

A blurred,
Deep gaze

The graze of a hand

A glance
A note
A smell
salty skin

Mornings-
Sun in the face
Yawns and touch

Holding tight
In the black of the night

Wishing for eternity
Then, wanting an end

And together was done
And tomorrow came
And we went on alone

And somehow survived
This bleak, white world
alone.