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4.0k · Jul 2018
Heart
More Love Jul 2018
These words, dripping from my touch
Keyboard struck by a force beyond me
I call you in, into these words
To reach the hearts of the souls you quench for

My heart--
So tender, it's been marinating
In a deep sea of grief
So many months
Lost at sea

This tenderness, a stranger
Im learning to love him
Longing when he's gone
For that sweet, soft pain
Of my wet and tender heart
3.4k · Jul 2018
Mission
More Love Jul 2018
This blank slate
Of soul, of flesh
Becoming what it is
Long overdue
Listening, waiting
Wanting more

Truth and Faith.

Courage at our core.
It burns away
The capes and costumes

Curtain open & collapses down

Cast steps forward and bows
Nervously waiting for the raw applause
of its long lost Love

To be seen in flesh, in form.
To feel
To be alive

And what hope there is
in this pause.

And by God's great glory,
simplicity,
and the logic that supports it
that reveals what we are,
all of us together.

Curtain down, we bow.
And receive fully the divine applause of our creator

to be-
to be seen,
heads hanging together
is enough for him to rejoice.

And his rejoicing song lifts our faces
to be truly, fully revealed

All we are, our mistakes + our triumphs,
standing strong together

The purpose of our being.

To be revealed, humbled and uplifted in truth.
And to let the light of his applause wash over us
As we all bow down together.
2.0k · Aug 2018
Wedding
More Love Aug 2018
The Great Niagra Falls
Spilling over like my love
loose and reckless
so alive and fruitful

And having found a source
an outlet for this outpouring love
this deep inborn desire to say 'yes'
with all of me; my life

This thick lust for life
and for love
and this perfect intuition
to give it all away

I am proud to be alive.
And to have the capacity
in my bones and in my flesh
to say 'yes' with all of me

So small and so fragile
yet having existed forever.

Nonetheless, impermanent
here to make a permanent mark
with this pen and this paper
and this racing heart
so uniquely my own
and so beautifully similar to the rest.

All here through the great devotional
journey of our ancestors
so gladly outpouring their lives,
like the great Niagra Falls

Into the present moment,
into our hands

And so,
I pick up this pen
and I write.
1.1k · Feb 23
Being
More Love Feb 23
I am human
and I have lived, and breathed, and seen...
and fallen and stood,
and loved and lost.

And I seek.
And I seek.

And I breathe, and I look, and I live.

And I live.
And I love.
And I see.
840 · Mar 2019
Loss
More Love Mar 2019
I used to be afraid.
Of what? I wonder.

Now that everything is gone.
740 · Dec 2019
Growth
More Love Dec 2019
Pain is never wasted
So long as she
Gets her point across
485 · May 2018
You
More Love May 2018
You
All I want to do is write
and rest

I wish you were here
All I want
is to show you my heart

maybe then you could do something about it
fix it, its broken

I call for you
sending empty echoes
across the Pacific

while Christ waits patiently by my side

Feeling
so much it exhausts me

my heart beats double
one for me and one for you

I can't explain it
these words never will
although you always probed me to try

poem after poem i write for you
crawling through the trenches of this heart
that was so open
how can it reassemble

so beautifully broken to take you in
and now that you're gone
all these pieces, all this space
and all i want to do is sleep
440 · Apr 2019
Remember
More Love Apr 2019
In a daffodil field
Blue sky in my eyes
Marmalade sun
Sweetens the breeze
I drink it in,
Resting in my mothers arms-

Lord, let me remember
Your love.
376 · Oct 2019
Humility
More Love Oct 2019
his feet drag
too weak to lift
he shuffles to the alter

patiently waiting his turn
to receive the body
of Christ, his savor

head down
back arched like a cane
brittleness pronounced
in every step

his life, lived
he simply waits
for life before him

when his turn approaches
he crosses his arms
across his sweet chest
and bows his head
unworthy to receive

yet a blessing lands upon him
and fills his empty, humble spirit
with a restoring light
of Truth
370 · Mar 2019
Sinking
More Love Mar 2019
I went for a swim
in a sea of emotions
the water enticed me
with its glistening beckon

but the water was thick
and down like a stone
I sank in the sea

growing more and more quiet
and still
and dark

as I drifted
deeper and deeper
into the sea.
333 · Feb 2019
Silent
More Love Feb 2019
We let the silence speak
And it speaks loudly

As we lay together
tangled between sheets
330 · May 2018
Polished
More Love May 2018
Polished: May 9, 2018

Your smell
What was it like?
I think it encapsulated me
It swallowed me whole

Your head on my shoulder...

Your eyes
They went far
Too far for me to follow
But I went anyway
And I got lost

Your hair
Through my hands
My hands were full
And now they’re empty

And my heart felt the same, Full
And now it asks,
Of what?

Your body
Glimmered in my mind
as it faded my own
into a grey glimpse of nothing

That fear
That drew me near
Is still resides
Within my bones
And now the pain
Leaps from my skin

Budding into
what it always should have been
And never would have become
If not for the pain of opening

here I am Lord
I have come to do your will.
313 · May 2018
Ugh
More Love May 2018
Ugh
warm
heavy
honey

lust
trust
pull

flutter
flutter

pull
more
near

comfort
peace
calm

space

flutter
flutter

firece
de­sire

you
draw
me.
288 · Feb 2019
Masochism
More Love Feb 2019
A part of me exhausts
As you withdraw into yourself

Pulling the thick tar of hurt
Out from my chest
And into these words

Molding it into
Meaning.
277 · Dec 2019
Exhaustion
More Love Dec 2019
Walking through water
doesn’t seem so hard
til' you've done it so long-
you just can’t go on
and so,
you sink.
263 · Aug 2019
What it was like to love
More Love Aug 2019
Rushing waters
Of trust

A blurred,
Deep gaze

The graze of a hand

A glance
A note
A smell
salty skin

Mornings-
Sun in the face
Yawns and touch

Holding tight
In the black of the night

Wishing for eternity
Then, wanting an end

And together was done
And tomorrow came
And we went on alone

And somehow survived
This bleak, white world
alone.
259 · Aug 2018
Empty Hope
More Love Aug 2018
to be empty
is to be filled
with the divine possibility
of anything.
258 · Sep 2019
Determination
More Love Sep 2019
Back hunched
as wheels spin
spitting pebbles
back on his shoes
******* tight
with soles peeling off
from so many steps

90 degrees
hot summer morning
8 am

same time every day
white shirt buttoned up
sweat insulating
his paper skin beneath

Hands firmly gripping the handles of his walker
with the same determination
that he has for life

not letting go

morning after morning
buttoning that shirt
tying those tarnished shoes

and down the hot and busy road
against the traffic and the rushing young
whose fleeting eyes somehow miss
this pure dart of life

Gaze fixed upon his target;
the next step.

He proceeds...
232 · Mar 2019
Courage
More Love Mar 2019
He plucked the mistakes from his heart
Uprooting the dry bulbs and coiled stems
With an empty satisfaction that consumed him

Pruning himself for perfection
And deep in the earth he buried his sins

Day after day
He maintained his routine
Summer dawned,
Autumn fell,
Winter withered

And alas came spring
When all is made new

A tender green bud
Still wet with life
Burst through the earth
With a courage
Soft enough
To make itself seen
219 · May 2020
Beauty
More Love May 2020
Marvelous splendor
The eyes delight
God’s thumbprint upon
This magical sight

She wears herself
And nothing more
Standing true
In her natural form

Beauty is,
Not symmetry
Beauty is
Simply to be

God made you, you
And nothing more
So wear it proud
And wear it strong

There is only one you
On the face of this earth
And someone out there
Can see all your worth

Without you changing
A single thing -
Your beauty is in
Your true being

So let your light
Shine through today
So God can delight
In what he has made.
217 · Feb 2020
Confidence
More Love Feb 2020
I am my father's daughter

Let me rejoice!
For just a breath,
In the simple truth

That this is enough.
215 · May 2019
Beginning
More Love May 2019
She wept.
Curdled upon the disjointed planks
Of old mahogany wood
On her cold bedroom floor.

She watched the empty air
Swirling specks of dust
In a perfect dance, afloat
Before her blurry eyes.

Each particle contained
A glimmer of light
That informed her,
Day was near.

But still, she sank
Beside the bed,
That contained
The essence
Of them--

Words, softly spoken
In the black abyss of night
When sound and sensation
Triumphed over sight.

The timelessness they spent
Within the vortex,
Levitated & contained
As that enchanted rhythm,
Moved them-
Together.

Those raw mornings
When light spilled across them
Delighting
In an innocent rebellion
Against the sun’s command
To begin the day.

STOP

Without an accomplice
She felt no delight
In her meager rebellion
Against the light.

And so she collected
everything within her
and drew herself to kneel.

And then,
Pressing the calloused soles of her hands and her feet
Into that cold mahogany floor,
She picked herself up-

And began her day.
202 · Apr 2019
Need
More Love Apr 2019
I’ve got this hungry, selfish love
Pleading on these desperate, bleeding knees
For you to open
So that I may survive
172 · May 2019
The Tunes
More Love May 2019
In your presence,
Music plays in my ear.

Sometimes the beat is slow, like blues
And it pulls at my heart
Stretching it
Wider and wider
Till it feels it will break
Like the New Orleans Dam

And sometimes it’s fast like jazz
Fluttering my heart and my feet
Moving me in such a way
that feels disorganized
but really, it’s just too complex
for the mind to follow,
given its nature.

And occasionally
There is a slow, peaceful hymn
A solo harp
That simply
and purely
sings us both
into a sleep-like state

All these songs play in my ear
For you, depending on the day
Or the hour
Or the moment
Or the look in your eye
Or the tone in your voice

And given the hymn,
I am drawn to weep, or dance, or sleep

But frozen in space
I wait, intently watching your face
For some subtle indication
That you hear it too…
171 · Dec 2019
Love
More Love Dec 2019
I have found
That love is
A series of small quirks
That one finds endearing
By either familiarity
Or novelty
Or a delightful combination of both

And the challenge ensues
When the familiar turns novel
Or the novel grows familiar

And we must learn to love
This strange new series of quirks
All over again...
163 · Aug 2019
Perspective
More Love Aug 2019
When we grow old
And our bones become brittle
We will remember
The trips and falls
The scrapes and the bruises
With a proud smile
Of the strength we once endured
157 · Jun 2019
Rest
More Love Jun 2019
A flower
Red pettaled
with a soft yellow face
Rests flat, wilting
on a chipped white windowsill
In the city

Picked by a thin woman
On a warm summer night

she had walked by many times,
And never once noticed
Its becoming hues of red and yellow

But it always noticed her,
Straining its yellow face
Upward To watch
Her graceful gate

And the way her skirt
Delicately danced
Like flower petals in the breeze
As she walked by

But that evening
She noticed

And she adored it
enough to take it home
Perching it purposefully
On that warm windowsill
In the city.

And there it rested,
Horizontal and high

Window open,
Warm breeze coming through,
Gracefully receiving the day,
In its final hours

Enjoying its new perspective,
Finally looking down,
rather than straining upward,
To watch those great human giants,
Busily walking by

And feeling its physiology degrade
it smiled inside
consumed by the wonderful new sensation
Of lying down

Enjoying a final rest,
And a new view
as the world rushed by

Resting, just resting
Assured
That all was good
And all was right.

As life slowly faded away...
155 · Dec 2019
Growth (part 2)
More Love Dec 2019
So long I’ve been searching
For me.

And finally I see,

I am a wall
That knocks itself down.

And using the pieces,
I build a new wall.

One with a window.
154 · Sep 2019
Ignorance
More Love Sep 2019
"I didn't mean to ignore you" she said both genuinely and proudly.

Dually proud.
One, for her ability to evoke emotion in him, through her simple act of nothing.
And two, that it had been so very 'nothing' to her, that she very genuinely didn't know she was doing this act of nothing.

Ignorance, ignoring...
What’s the difference?
She was innocent.

Regardless, she moved through the circumstance
Something like a maverick
Cunning her way in and out of his heart...

Stitching it up,
a poor repair,
one that was soon to rupture again
surely worse next time.

But the remedy consoled him
And imagining her essence
hazily around him,
he fell into a dreamy slumber...

Until the next time she awoke him
with her jolting and revolting
Chilling and thrilling
Weary, weary...

Nothing.
153 · Apr 2019
Dream
More Love Apr 2019
Now that you’re gone
It seems almost a dream
How we once moved
As one flesh, one being
151 · Jan 2020
Mercy
More Love Jan 2020
She leaves,
And he stays.
She takes,
And he gives.
She strikes,
And he endures...

All the while seeing
Her loving,
Tender ways
Despite this - temporary -
darkness.
145 · Jul 2018
Exhale
More Love Jul 2018
I’ll write for you
And I’ll read
And watch your soul be appeased

And the knots in my heart will become undone
As you exhale deeply
135 · Apr 2019
Trust
More Love Apr 2019
You strike at my heart
It becomes tender
And with one final blow
Bursts open with love

Chambers draw open
Contents outpour
And wide it remains
To receive all of life

Your heavy hand
Has made my heart
As tender as the soil
And as open as the sky
134 · Jun 2019
Holding
More Love Jun 2019
You’re there, still
When night comes.

A faint and dimming image.

But alone, I am
Unable to feel,
you.

You have become a thought.

Because together,
We built these walls

To keep us apart

Yet still,
we are together.

In this fragmented,
Tormented way.

Alone, at night
Together.
129 · Dec 2019
Loneliness
More Love Dec 2019
oh what a weight, us humans bear
on our frail bones

we all know alone
and how heavy it is

no-one can carry alone alone
and at the same time-
no-one is there to help.
125 · Jan 2020
Resentment - part 2
More Love Jan 2020
Lord, release my heart
From this cage it’s in

I need to breath
Fresh air

I am full of fire
And resentment

Encased and surrounded by the past
Which has become my present
And my future

Unable to change him,
Loving and tender.

He cares for himself
Foremost
And I, foremost for him.
117 · Jun 2019
Spring evening
More Love Jun 2019
My heart beats slow
On this blue spring eve
Silence hums in my hears
As I continue on
This gentle, winding road
114 · Feb 2020
Persistence - 2
More Love Feb 2020
Half way
Presents two choices
Easeful - down
Or challenge - up
I think I’ll take the ladder.
110 · Feb 2019
Inspiration
More Love Feb 2019
Pain moves me
Simply because
I cannot bear
to stay with it.
108 · Mar 2019
The simple man
More Love Mar 2019
I miss that man in the garden
With coarse dark hair and a smile
With thick skin
And callused hands
And a tender toughness
That appeals to a child

I miss that man at the table
Behind the morning paper
I miss his simple routines
And his humble ways

And I recognize in him
The strength of simplicity
The great honor and privilege
To live amongst
Such perfect repetition of pattern
What meaning it creates in time

I miss that man in the living room
Relaxed on the sofa at night

Oh the simplicity
It wrings at my heart
That being
Oh that being

Day in and day out
Over and over again
Oh what it means to be alive
108 · Apr 2019
Love
More Love Apr 2019
I love you because
Your shield and sword
Are there to protect
The tender lamb
Of your being
98 · Feb 2019
Truth
More Love Feb 2019
Our bodies together
Our greatest prayer

God rejoicing
As we celebrate

Creation
In one another
92 · May 2019
Night
More Love May 2019
I have learned to enjoy the night
As it approaches,
I no longer turn away
to chase after the day that has passed
Running backwards
Against the eternal force of time

Constantly
Moving
In one direction;
forward.

I have learned to enjoy the night
No longer do I waste the splendor of dusk
Pressing my meager resistance against it

Instead, I melt into it
becoming one with the dimming day
Everything slows
As the darkness gently fades the lines of distinction
blending all of life into one into one
Under the tender canopy
Of night
Where all is made new.

I have learned to enjoy the night
Accepting the day has passed
Come and gone
And that life,
In that particular shade of day
Will never be seen again
92 · Aug 2020
Life
More Love Aug 2020
There are no numbers to the days,
or the words i have written.
Life cannot be contained by
something so linear.

Life is more like a word  -
or a gesture -
or breath...

But certainly not a clock,
represented by digits -
fleeting and repeating...

No, life is more like a dance.
with a partner who
gazes deeply upon you,
and moves you
in ways you could have never imagined.

Only to vanish -
mid dance.
85 · Apr 2019
The Victim
More Love Apr 2019
She covered herself
From head unto toe
Screaming and weeping
For not being seen
83 · Mar 2019
Fear
More Love Mar 2019
Stepping out on the ledge
that held him with a weak and trembling grip,
his eyes were filled
with the future

Lucid lights painting ribbons through the sky,
tracing the frantic motion
of masses lost,
in a rush to nowhere

Entranced by the spectacle,
eyes yellow aglow,
he ceased to notice
the grounds growing tremor
82 · Aug 2019
The Exchange
More Love Aug 2019
She sat
Cross legged
Somehow assuming
the shape
Of a taught
bow and arrow

Palms resting open
White and fleshy,
As leavened dough
Before her womb
One over the other
In a tender gesture
Ever so still

She breathed
In and out

And her lips
Came to a subtle smile

And she looked beautiful there
In that peaceful position

And in her top, left palm
Was a cherry
Black and ripe
Ripe enough
To emit an aroma
That would travel
All the way up
To her creamy face
As she breathed it in
And enjoyed.

Its inner beauty
Leaving its flesh,
To be consumed,
Engulfed,
In her delight.

While all the while
Her plump and tender hands
Cradled the fruit
In its full integrity

Consuming it completely
In peaceful pleasure
Receiving its life
Without taking
a drop of its juice

Perched there,
Upon a cushion
Serenely smiling
At the paradox
She contained

The fruit of life, giving
And she, receiving
Without taking
In return.
77 · Jan 2020
Commitment
More Love Jan 2020
It is far more challenging
To return again

Than it is,
Simply to stay
All the while.

Despite the trouble
This staying contains.
74 · May 2020
Spring
More Love May 2020
Alas, Spring is here!

A fine young woman
Hearty and young
Full of life

Plump and fertile
With pale white skin
Pink cheeks, lively eyes
And brown curls around her face

Her arms are full
With flowers of yellow and white
And she carries loaves of bread
In a sack on her back

Children skip behind her
In streams of laughter
And she leaves a trail
Of petlas on their path

She wears a halo of sun
Above her full face

And a flower crown
On her soft bed of hair

She breaths warmth on the days
Melting mornings like butter

And when she cries, it rains
And the town becomes silent
Giving room to the boom
Of her sorrowful roars

And when it is finished
She sings with joy
And the birds chime in
And the grass lifts
And horses drink peacefully
From a nearby stream

And the sky outpours its light
Affirming all will be alright

People rush from their doors
To observe the spring fair
Enjoying her celebratory visit
As the earth opens up,
To give way to life.

And when she leaves
Ever-so-quietly one night,
Her sister comes knocking,
Early in the next morning
With her fire red hair and safari eyes
Jumping and dancing and kissing the moon
Summer has arrived-

Followed by father autumn,
Whose quiet power
Sways life from the trees.
And mother winter,
Who brings comfort and rest
With her blanket of white.

Till' again spring returns
And all the world rejoices
At the arrival of their favorite guest,

Generous and humble
Marvelous,
Spring.
72 · Apr 2019
Defeat
More Love Apr 2019
My heart had become
Tenderized meat
Pounded and hanging
For vultures to eat
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