my friends who love
can sculpt a lover's face
onto a sheet of paper

finding solace in thinking
that death comes in multiple stages
rather than an instantaneous there-then-not
to live is within our own conscience
and who's to say that we do not live elsewhere
to be a string in another memory
that is my only life after death

the good morning
is sitting at the back of my school's library
so the sun hits my face
just before I leave for class
just before I finish my coffee
I listen to my mother's spotify
and choose not to finish my math homework

it hurts, real bad
I can only say that to myself
‘less I submit to selection
nature’s way of letting me go
but that’ll hurt worse

near midnight, hello again
I’ll be in no one’s company tonight

Even when I seem colder
I'm not getting older
For all the things you sold her
You'll never be by her side

Even when the whitest lies unfold
There'll be no escaping your hold

Fighting every second of time
as its density keeps you wavering

I can't fight for you
I won't cry for you
I won't fight for you
I might try for you

You don't need my excuse
You think I feel used
For that, I didn't need you
I chose to live by my own rules