Spider weave their webs over my eyes
to hide the once-bright green inside
To cloak my brain in agony
To shield me from the sunlight

I lift my coat-hanger limbs
And dance with darkness
I let the demons drink my blood
I let the ghosts take naps in my gold-straw hair

Ah, I am a ghost, too
Ah, well I should be
But, ah, a little secret saved me
A fairy tale turned true

A knight saved the princess
From her dusty dark dungeon
He kissed her and woke up her gravestone heart
And she realized the magic of a smile

But even as they journeyed on,
They danced and kissed their way forward,
The shadows danced with them,
The ghosts stole me away from him

Don’t take me away from him
Don’t take him away from me
Don’t let him turn away from me
Don’t make me dumb enough to turn away from him

I’m just another ghost girl gray,
Eyes cloaked in spider-thread
Limbs outlined in paper and streaked with blood
I dance with my demons,

Even as I believe in love.

i gotta type something
but i don't know what to write
my mind is fading
fading into the night
i'm about to shut down
about to lose control
so when the world starts spinning
just let me lose my hold
i am not in reality
i have gone away
into a place without mortality

One moment,
he is real
Fresh in her mind
as her mother drives her farther
and farther away
from him.
The next moment(day),
He is a memory(no, he's a dream)
And she is suddenly
THAT GIRL
again;
Hollow-eyed
rib cage
and upside-down smile
She is suddenly
NOT HERSELF
AND SHE IS HERSELF
SHE DOES NOT KNOW

WHO IS SHE
WHEN SHE DOES NOT SEE
HIM?

silent ghost girl
drifting
waiting

She will only come alive again
when she knows that she will see
his face.
But until then,
ghost girl
drifting
is left with memories(DREAMS)
She is left alone with her old self.

I know you said
it wasn't for the same reasons as me
But knowing that you drew your own blood
still scares me.

Take me back
to the fair,
To the magic and joy
Take me back
To pink swirls of candy cotton
And fresh-squeezed lemonade
Take me back
To giant teddy bears
And dusty neon balloons
Take me back
To the top of the Ferris wheel
And the top of the world
Take me back
To carefree happiness,
This old surreal world.

I swear
I'm already breathing in your scent again,
I know that you're there
But it's still just a dream
I know
I've already hugged you to death
thirteen million times
But it's still just a dream

I think
Our lips have finally met after 12 long days
and I've melted into you
But it's still just a dream

I could have sworn
I heard your voice, seen your face, mahogany eyes
Held your hand tight in mine
But it was all a dream

Reality is coming soon
Just a couple of hours of
anticipation remain
Before dreams will come true

Just a couple of spins
of the clock's iron arrow
Then I will see you again
And it won't be just a dream

Every hug will be true
Every kiss a granted wish
And I'll pinch us both
To promise that we're awake

Just a couple of hours, love
Our fingertips are about to touch
So breathe, just breathe
Today we meet again.

It’s inevitable,
Undeniable:
I am shrinking, fading, falling away
Reality moves farther from my grasp
Every day
I can’t help but feel
Disconnected
Is this depression? Is it anxiety?
Is it an ailment that has caught me by surprise?
I cannot say that I know
What it is that’s wrong with me
But it is odd, and frightening,
This week I’m fine and calm and okay,
Next week I’m a bouncing ball of buzzing anxiety;
Watch out! I might zap you with this electric energy
That has filled me to the brim
I don’t want to name disorders anymore
Because I tend to falsely diagnose
But I need to figure this out
I have to figure this out
I have to learn the name of my enemy
Before it squashes me completely
And wipes me off the face of existence.

I tell you a lot;
I tell you with my poems
I tell you my sorrow;
I tell you my love
I tell you demons in my head;
I tell you daydreams in my bed
I tell you what cannot be said aloud;
I tell what no one seems to have found
I tell you a lot with these swirls of ink;
I tell you now, to read closely and discover how I think.

Hello, doctor,
could you take
a
look
inside my mind, please?
I think
there's
something
incorrect,
something
that
does
not belong?
I just can't seem to think
quite
right
anymore.
I cannot
control
my
thoughts
anymore
and my mind
controls
me
more
than it should.
Doctor, please
help me find
the infection
that I
m sure is lodged
somewhere in my head.

I wish

I could tear open my chest

and reveal my pain

for the world to see.



I wish

I could rip my soul to shreds

and put each piece in a bottle

for the ocean to carry away from me.



I wish

I could detonate an explosive

inside my head

to expel the screaming demons inside.



I wish

I could run from the light

and merge with the dark

so nobody can find me.



I wish

I could scream forever

until I explode

and free myself from this torment.



I wish

I could learn

how to see the sun again.

I want to scream

in your face

so that you

have no choice

except

to hear me

acknowledge me



I want to tear myself apart

so you can look inside me

and you can see

everything

that is wrong

with me



I want to jump

and fall

away

into a

never-ending

oblivion

You will lose me

When she suddenly finds herself
shell-shocked,
With fragments of exploded lies staining her face,
all she can think about
is how much tighter she must hold on
to him
Even as the universe tries to pull her away.

Sometimes I wish I could forget how to breathe
and just sink.
Would you still come after me?

it builds up again
it builds up again
It builds up again and it's about to explode
i've lost my mind again
i've lost my mind again
I've lost my mind and I don't know how I'm alive
i'm on the edge again
i'm on the edge again
I'm on the edge and I have one foot hanging off
can i fly?

When the emotional heart is ailing,
or perhaps the mind,
A better cure I cannot find
than music.

The dips and the dives of notes,
sweet and sour, high and low,
The ups and downs of life perfectly shown
Sky to earth, earth to sky.

The beats of the drums and the pounding bass,
thumping their way through the room
Providing more feeling with every boom
Vibrating through the heart and soul.

The voices, the voices, and the words they share,
telling their stories for the world to hear,
Give something to relate, and draw a tear
Or make feet dance and toss away their cares.

The sounds overall, the perfect mix,
combining everything to let us know
That music can make our feelings show
Emotion is the key to music

and music is the key to emotion.

I sit and I shiver
I shiver until I shatter
I shatter into stained-glass bits
Pieces of stardust trapped in the fragments
of me.

I looked up last night,
The first time in a long time
And the simple beauty
Of a million white lights stree across
Blue-black velvet illuminated by the light of Lady Luna
Took my breath away and made me cry at the wonder

If I can see the stars, bright and fine,
Then I know that I am home.

Uncertain of how I feel, of
Never-ending questions, of
Curious prompts and
Ecstatic noises
Rainfall outside my window
Tiptap tiptap
Anonymous,
I am anonymous
No more

Can I tell you this again,
how much I love you?
It is infinite,
which is why I keep saying it.

You are the sun and the moon,
you are
every breath I take,
every heartbeat that reverberates in my chest

You are my present and my future,
I just wish you could've been in my past, too
But those times are wisps of gray
clinging to the multicolored fabric of my sanity
I don't want that fogging up my brain
I want you illuminating my head

*You are everything.

Hiding inside of me,
Inside a girl made of ice and fear,

There is a woman made of fire

She spins and dances around my heart,
Trying to melt the icicles

She’s almost melted all of the icicles

Every kiss adds to silver puddle
That forms a pool deep in my belly

You think I don't see you avoiding me;
You're pushing me away
You think I don't worry about you
more every single day
Something's wrong with you,
Something is hurting you
I wish I knew,
I wish I knew...

Hey, little star,
you know who you are,
that beacon in the sky that shone for me...
You shot away
Into outer space
You said that you wanted to be free!
So I've let you go,
but I hope you know
I'll never forget the truth that lies
inside my heart, in the warmest part:
You're the most beautiful thing ever seen by these eyes.

Does she make you smile?
Yes, good!
Does she make you laugh?
Yes, well, good!
Does she fill the empty space that you dug into your soul?
I hope it's not so...
I hope it's not so!
Because I know!
I know that you know:
It can't be denied that you're for me...
And that little hole,
that hole in your soul:
That is a spot reserved for me!

I'm sure you're happy
now that you're free,
but I don't think she knows the cure...
There's a sickness inside you,
a darkness that I've seen;
Does she really know you?
Can she really help you,
or is she suppressing a scream?

Don't scare her away,
I know she's trying hard
to keep your demons at bay
How well does she do?
Can she win those battles like I do?
You see, I don't really think
That she knows what she's doing
Yes, she's sick, too,
But not the same as you,
And how can you cure each other
If you don't even know what's wrong?

Maybe I'm calling you a freak,
maybe saying that you're insane
But frankly, I just wish that you
were still all mine...
I know how to cure you,
And I will always adore you
No matter the monster that hides inside.

If she's brave enough to fight your demons,
then keep her, by all means, keep her!
But if there's fear in her eyes,
If she's hiding just behind,
You might want to reconsider who you choose.
The truth, my love, is that she's not quite filling shoes.

the
  feeling
of
  drowning
despite
  full
oxygen,
  or
perhaps
  just
a
  desire
to
  sink.

I don’t believe in any deity,
But I still hope and pray every day
That I will never feel true heartbreak;
*I hope and pray every day
that I will never lose you.

My words have collected dust.

Somewhere,
the time was lost,
or perhaps
simply the motivation.

When did this dream fade so fast?

Where did I lose the pen,
spill the ink?

I’m grasping for the tail end
of even a single word,
and here it is:

Return.

I always find the hungry men,
the wild men,
the ones who are barely restrained
And sometimes they lose control
and the fangs come out
and the claws slice
me into shiny little bits
Stain my petal-skin with blood.

I always find the hungry men,
who tear me apart night after night,
Who make me scream again and again
"Oh, please, not one more bite!"
I fear they will devour me
as they sip lightly on my nectar
But pleasure mixed with pain and fear -
Oh! Explosive, I cannot even think anymore!

I always find the hungry men,
Who make a flower bloom and bleed;
They tear me to bits and try not to breed,
*And in the morning I can still say
"Love."

let me tell you
the tale of the girl
who looked like nothing was wrong
whose life really was good
but still felt that
her world was shattering
the shards flew into her skin
leaving silver scars behind
her parents closed their eyes
and her friends silently wondered why
the darkness had no reason
the pain had no cause
but it was there, and she was falling
she will be
the death of herself.

Sunsets
and
stars,

shining and tossing
time away

Taking my breath
away

Every time
I look up,

My time
wastes
away.

Don't be sorry for me
when my biggest problem
is anxiety
and a mother
who doesn't want to listen.
Be sorry for the other girls my age
who have to live on the streets
with barely a meal a day
and give up their bodies to survive.

These bits of hope
are dimming more and more,
but maybe this one will stay bright.

soft,
  thin
beams
  of
light,
  revealed
by
  pale
smoke
  swirling
in
  a
hypnotic
  pattern

I let myself
s
i
n
k,

I contemplate
d
r
o
w
n
i
n
g,

but I know that there is
l i f e
and
l o v e
waiting above,
so back up I swim.

Dear Francis,
       It’s cold. I’m cold. My hands are the icicles that you’ve always known them to be. My heart aches. It aches and breaks for you, the lost boy. It aches and breaks for Chester, who blinks his green eyes from the future and watches you cry. My heart aches and breaks and I still don’t cry, I never cry, why can I never cry? My tears died. I don’t know how to let you go, I don’t know how to move on. You’re my soul mate, aren’t you? We’ve been through so much. But time, time, terrible time has torn us apart and dangles the golden thread of a better future dangerously close to our lips.I wonder why I cannot seem to be without you, then I remember that I gave you a piece of my heart, a half of my soul, and you still have it in you, deep in your core. I pick my way down the path  of a painful friendship and trip and fall and bleed, but don’t cry. I keep my lips sealed because I don’t want the world to know that suddenly you’re just my best friend and not my future husband. I try to smile, I laugh and play, but you just take it all away. Why? Why must I be abandoned at this time when everything falls apart around me...my family is breaking, my body is, too. My soul would’ve broken a long time ago, but then you arrived with the right tools to fix it. I was happy and you were happy, but something in you failed and you broke again and again until you finally walked away and took the golden tools with you, and so I break again.
Love. The tortuous beast. It is a delicate balance between poison and cure, and now it has suddenly become the poison, and it roars through me, stealing my warmth and freezing me. I shiver. It laughs. Far, far away, you cry, and an innocent girl is caught in the net of a twisted love story. She searches for a way to comfort you, but what is right? She’s been wanting you for a while, and now she has you, but you’re broken. You’re stolen. I have your heart in my teeth and I’m not letting go because you promised me forever, and now you’re ripping my fairy tale to shreds. The knight has left the princess in the dragon’s lair, and he’s not sure if he should go back and save her, or go forward and take the hand of the fresh-faced maiden who won’t cause him pain. A line of maidens waits outside the dragon’s cave, all of them promising a less painful today for a happier future. What does he do?


What
Does
He
Do?

You give me hope,
but it’s hard to hold on to that
when everyone else
blew it out
even after promising
to protect its flame.

Dance on a river of glass shards
stained with blood
The bottoms of your feet
streaked with shiny pink scars
Dance and dance,
you can't help but dance
The pain is too great to stand still.

Tonight I wish to dance
with the shadow,
and let him sweep me off my feet;
I wish to let blood stain my wrist
and moonlight pierce my iris
As I embrace the ebony warmth
of my enemy.
I will let the dark feathered wings
sprout from my spine
and lift me away into the stars
To dance only the darkest dance,

and in the morning I will be light again.

You're not here,
but I still feel
your arms around me.
You're not here,
but I'm still high
off your breath.
You're not here,
but you've left an
imprint.

foolishly drawn
into the same trap

it's so easy
to be excited

but suddenly
sink into the cold again

and fall back
on old habits

the silver bite
is too familiar.

The threads between us
multiply
and strengthen our connection
with every word.

He is a soul who needs to be saved,
Who wanders on his own
Who has scars on his soul.

And who am I to try to save him,
Me with the light gray heart,
Who knows the world but has no experience
Who still believes in light?

I am no one, and so is he,
But there's no reason for that to stop us,
No reason give in.

I think that with a bit of time,
Like a bird with a broken wing,
I can fix him.
I can teach him how to love again.

rain
  pattering
around
small
hidden
  birds,
who
  trill
to
find
  each
other
  through
the
  drops.

You wonder why I can’t say anything
as my lies explode in my face
You decide that my silence is equivalent
to a declaration of “I don’t care.”
But what you don’t understand is that
I DO CARE
and the reason I stay silent is because
nothing I could say would ever matter anyway
You would still tell me
I’m stupid, ignorant, immature, irresponsible
You would tell me that
everything I think I feel for him
is just teenage hormones, not love
You won’t listen to what I have to say,
so I’ll give you silence for an answer
I’ll try to tell you with my eyes
But I’m pretty sure you’re blind
It’s cliche to say that you don’t understand
when obviously you do
But when you refuse to listen to what I have to say
I just don’t understand the point in speaking at all
And I’ll let myself disappear, drift away
It’s a good thing I’m leaving anyway,
because I would be packing my bags right about now.

I won't give up
I don't give up
I can't give up
I have not given up
*on you.

This room where I hide,
it is filled with the stench of
winter, and shallow loneliness.

I miss my words,
my poetry and my tales
I miss letting letters spin
from the top of my head

There's so little time,
And so little free pleasure,
It's hard to process my emotions,
and this was lost in the blur

So here's a quick spin
just to see what I've missed,
It's nice to let the letters roll,
let some light shine through the mist.

Daisycutter, daisycutter
Explosive as can be
Someone find a daisycutter
to set me free
My soul is wrinkled and my body is a tree
Oh, daisycutter, daisycutter,
set me free.

What is poetry? Is it music? Is it love? Is it boring? Is it magic?
Poetry, to me, is medicine.
Reading it is like my grandmother rubbing a soothing balm across my wounds. Writing it is like crying: the tears that never leave my eyes leave my pen instead, trailing across the page to bleed in ways that would **** me if the ink were blood from my body.

i.
his fingers
trailing down my spine and
his breath on my neck just before
his lips trail sparks across my skin

ii.
my lips
pressed against the smooth skin
of his neck, the vein there pulsing as
his heartbeat quickens with excitement

iii.
our fingers
twined together tightly
as our lips meet softly and
we breathlessly promise our love

I need you to remind me
that I do have a heart
I need you to tug on my soul
and remind me that I’m whole
I need you to hold me close
so I don’t freeze and go numb
I need you
to keep me alive.