If I can hold on,
Then I can drift away,
Over and away from the beige and the ache,
I can drift into hues of pale pink and cerrulean,
Every shade blended to my skin,
As the sky envelops me,
Wraps me up tight.

Bring on the greys,
The whisps of cloud that blur across the atmosphere,
And rhythmic rain on Sundays and dark days,

But give me
A  violet rose dome while I drift,
The sun scattering clear thick shadows which flash over my eyes while I spin,
Yes give me blues,
While I drift.

The thoughts within my head sloshed around my brain like the alcohol in my stomach.
I was cold and tired and with a dizzy mind the only thing I craved was to be in your arms.

I called out your name, to no avail, on the street right in front of your house. the lights were off
so I called your phone and the dial tone seemed to say sorry for the inconvenience, get some sleep you drunk girl.

So I walked alone and cold back to my small room. i put on the shirt that smelled like you,
climbed into bed and reached my arms out into the void that used to contain your warmth.

I had a dream you called that night, only to wake and find it wasn't a dream. i was mad at myself for thinking of it as such. Mad at myself for not answering, not paying enough attention, for turning my phone on silent.

In the morning the thoughts within my head had exited along with the alcohol, and my mind belonged to me again, not you. The only thing I craved was a good bagel, and to be rid of you.