she crawls slowly through the mist
in the forest of demise
where the dark paths turn and twist
hidden from the open skies
once she invites you in
she brings you to your knees
like a thorn across your skin
like the sting of a thousand bees
where secret screams exist
going there would be unwise
the lips of pain are gently kissed
as another victim cries
she lives within the caves
and she crawls beneath the grass
digging shallow graves
for the lives about to pass
she whispers like the wind
blowing through the trees
where she lives within
she is the haunting breeze
if you find yourself in her midst
never look into her eyes
just pretend she doesn't exist
don't be the next who dies
a friend told me that they liked this version better, so i decided to post it...feedback is welcome, and i would like to know if this six stanza poem is better than the original three stanza version