After all these years
I thought you were the strongest one
Everything that we’ve gone through
The laughter, anger, and the sadness
I was so blessed having you with me
We’ve had our rough patch and I get it
Anyone would have done the same and left
I couldn’t believe, you out of everything would actually leave me
I guess you started to drift off
Something that I would do with most
I hated that feeling of emptiness
Despised the way I would act out all the time
Push others away when they were the first to even care
To even love me the way I always hoped one day someone would
I felt so guilty and so bad that I’d hurt them
After all these years
I thought you were the strongest
Little did I know you were always there to comfort me, to heal me
I never doubted you but I always made it tough on you
I guess I dragged you away finally
I will never forget you for everything you’ve done
I’m not the same without you to be honest
I’d beg and plead for you to come back
However you never listen no more,
you don’t know how to react either
Not even my tears catch your attention
My stuffy nose and the pink shadow on my eyelids are just for you, but you never understand anymore, it’s frustrating
I miss you like no other
Nowadays I don’t even bother
I’m exhausted from trying to bring you back
I fake it most times and I’m pretty successful because no one notices
But you in my mind just don’t connect like you used to...
I wish I wasn’t so numb
I would be so much happier with you
You’ve affected my life dramatically,
now I’m unsteady all the time
Please beat for me once again
You are my heart and I need you to respond

Our eyes capture majestical moments while they are open
Even closed we see the un capable being done
It’s like in the movies
We show up to witness greatness, only to be left with disappointment, disapproval of the way the scene was acted out or the scenery not good enough for our eyes
Expensive enough to buy a single ticket
We just don’t tend to remember the behind the scenes do we?
The work that’s done to get that one first kiss that changes everything, right.  The urge to want to go into the screens and tell him or her they love them.
It’s the little things that build up that make the works great.
I can’t say that all behind the scenes are good, because there exist the difficulty of getting a line right or doing a certain stance well.
All that we are and what let people see is two completely opposites, because we develop the urgency of showing only the good of us and forget to show our real selves.
Some of us manage to revel most of our identity, while others can’t let go and hide behind the lies

Fingertips fall delicately onto his skin  
Mastering the art of repairing what’s been forgotten.
Each inch done incorrectly will slowly cover up, wanting to devore what it’s been feed.
He may not mind it at that time, however he will desire more, especially once you’ve left your imprints on his skin.
Closing his eyes,letting out the heat from his mouth rise, enough for you to hear his breathing and make you shiver like dandelions being blown away from the upcoming breeze into the midnight sky
You start to wonder, once again, how this could of been differently if you weren’t able to let your fingertips fall delicately onto his skin =

A blessing to be present till this day
Thankful for the way I was raised
Having a roof to keep me safe
My stomach always full which was good
Being surrounded by love all day long
For days,weeks, months even years
Though I have been given everything
I’ve lost more than what I have been given
More of me has disappeared over the years
More than I have ever been able to built
Im scared full of fear
To be so young yet so grown up
Im not secure at work, home or even less my mind
I do not want to die alone
However I’ve already have more than a couple of times
I let the labels as a child define who I was and I accepted them even if it wasn’t me
I’ve been let to believe something in not
It’s hard to keep a reputation going
I hate having to make everyone happy
Although it’s the only thing that makes me feel now
Im so numb
I never know what wrong from right or vise versa
Am I selfish for feeling this way?
So empty without a face more like no identity
A lost soul, to the earth it doesn’t matter
What I am or become I’m only a small pile of dust
Who cares about me?
When all I ever done I’d give the worst of me
I might affect others and they may remember partially about me
But I’ve never actually been included in their lives because I could never cross the line that and I have set up for myself
I am with fear of letting myself actually discover my true identity
Im open minded so much that it amazes me
I’ve always been capable of taking a certain situation and looking at all the perspectives and outcomes but I’m so closed minded as well because I know I’m wise
I feel filthy
I’ve done things you wouldn’t expect me to do
To some though that’s normal
Im just a kid that has never fully let anyone into my own world
I’ve made mistakes over and over again
The kind that hurt only me
I look out for others before myself
And is it wrong that I just want to grow up now and worry only about myself?
Is it wrong to blame others for leaving me to believe I have to stay the same?
They won’t die with me
Im internally sad, never regretful yet the feelings there
Im overly happy but blocked by the dark emotions I carry with me from the past
Im grateful yet ungrateful
Ready to make moves but stuck on what to do
How can I explain to you that I am a lost soul waiting to be found
Many say I’m amazing and so mature but that’s just a part of me that I aromatically show off because I am still stuck on the same label and I can’t move from there
I leave my mark on your path but I push you away and leave it and never come back and never feel bad about it either
And I’m left alone again not an unusual thing to happen
It doesn’t damage me because I don’t dream on things I can’t have
It’s always been like this for some reason
if I do it’s nice but I push it aside
It’s fun letting everyone pay attention to you but it’s more fun when they staying after it
You leave so much effort into one person and you may not realize it but after a few times you tend to see that you’re left with nothing but somehow you still managed to give something
Thoughts that consume my mind
I can ignore but my heart can’t anymore
I believe it doesn’t realize it’s too concentrated on the bad that it’s not paying attention to do good
It makes me feel guilty when I beg my heart to feel the same way you do
I’m jealous you can still feel butterflies in your stomach and I can’t
It breaks me even more when you believe I’m not trying or when im not able to show my love to you
I’m a criminal for being emotional just to grab your attention because I love when you do
I’m crazy to believe that the only way to be loved is to be someone you look down upon to be comforted
I hate questions when I don’t want to say anything even if I do want to burst
Even with this trouble where I am the one that is giving the burden to you that I never got with past relationships when they said it
I ask the same thing they asked me before
Which I thought was silly because the answer was obvious but so deep in itself they would say, now I say,
how can you still be here and love me when I’m a complete mess? I did not want to be on the other side where they stood, but it’s too late
I’m already here

There comes a time where you realize

The things we think, see, touch, hear, and smell are so much like a guide for living life itself.

Need further explanation? Do you hate cliff hangers? Or do you simply love the idea that there can be more to this?

You may have heard of the saying, live, love and learn.

As simple and wonderful as it sounds referring back to one of our senses by the way.

Sometimes living becomes the thing we see as dying and we confuse the both at all times. So we really don’t know in which way it is suppose to be like, but we think we know our feelings enough right?

And we fear love because it’s stronger than what we can handle, isn’t that true in a way? It comes so unexpected but yet we see it coming, at least that’s what the majority believes.

Going through walls is the hardest thing we can bump into.  We despise having to learn something new when we pass through a harsh experience. We have a hard time acknowledging what we actually need to overcome the obstacles.

So how does this all connect together? You know the answer, yet you’re mind is such a beautiful creature that loves exploring even beyond of its abilities.

This is where everything complicates itself more than it should. Us humans love being so complex, it’s crazy right? No it isn’t because it’s such a natural thing for us to do. In the way our world has constructed itself to be like. This is what we have set ourselfs to follow, the path that our past generations have left for us. Could it have been done unintentionally how everything is suppose to work or is it a game we have to learn how to survive and somehow win?

We can be the one’s in the back of the crowd, the unnoticed whose minds run wild that no one will know about till they learn how to show the world their little contribution of their knowledge. The one’s that are unsure of what they say but make it seem like they know what they are talking about. The leader that makes everyone look up at them because they weren’t afraid to finally be who they wanted to be. There are so many roles that can be played or taken. It seems as we are on a song that’s set on repeat. We may love it, we may hate it, we might changed it or we might not mind the way it has been made so we flow with it.

So we live, love and learn. No matter how many times we have to repeat the cycle.
We use our senses in so many different ways constantly. This is not bad actually, but know that, what we may think or feel might just be an illusion of what we might never really know is real.

So do you realize everything is only a guide that only gets us through some parts and not all of it on how to live life it self?