mj - Hello Poetry

mj Feb 2016

you

hearing your songs about her
rips at parts of my brain
I am suppose to be okay
I know that you don't see me
the way you see her
but I'll keep thinking maybe your heart will change
and like patterns I trace down my thighs
with open eyes I see where you lie
and I will never get why
I never tried to find a way to be
with you
the way you want to be
with her

feeling things are completely out of your control and while he is writing about her I am writing about him and I know how he hurts because the words are wounds that bend and break the parts of my thoughts that I thought would stay to keep me sane

#love #stupid #boys #dumb #is

mj Feb 2016

you stay

I can't bring myself to leave the place you stay
so I sit just watching you watch her
and she is your pull
nothing more than a possibility
a maybe you hold onto
you wonder what she's doing
where she's going
when you enter a room your eyes find her space and you stay
maybe when it's over and the final page turns
you won't have her but
for now I'll fill this with words I'll never send

this is awful

mj Feb 2016

faded

office buildings
parking lots
2am thoughts
getting lost in the way you talk
now fading faster than conversations of far off places
he doesn't like this song but he never heard quite like you

mj Feb 2016

maybes

who are we
but collections of
late night maybes
next time I'm sorry
I wanted to watch the spaces you fill with the holes I create as I leave traces of the people we could have
would have been

sitting thinking breathing

mj Feb 2016

albums

Let me love before you fall
I can't pretend to know what you're thinking
but I hate how she brings out the softest sides of you
and it's funny how I said I wouldn't be her but that was before I met you
now I have your records on repeat and these songs are the only way I see you with me

mj Feb 2016

Where My Heart Is

Your couch
your house
2am skype calls
your car
3am fall outs
your mind
4am breakdowns
you

Feb 2016

A

nothing good happens after 2am

I've filled the hole you left with empty kisses from boys whose lips taste like ash trays and whose bodies aren't yours but fill the space you left in my bed anyway

I've filled it with smoke as I sat on the edge of a bathtub, bowl in hand listening to a stranger talk about how he still calls his dead mother by mistake sometimes

I've filled it with recipes of sleeping pills swallowed down with cough syrup and ***** and chased with a flat Diet Coke I might've opened last week

The you shaped hole in my chest just gets bigger

#breakup