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...دامن دخترش بود

That skirt was for her daughter...
I don't want to be like this
I am missing something, it has rushed through my fingers like a waterfall does to hands
It is like someone took a knife to my soul and carved out a hole
Filled it with clamoring thoughts, intentions that aren't mine, the image of a boy
Who isn't really a boy hazy on the borders of my mind

I don't want to be like this

I want to be free but there is nowhere to run
The arbitrary despair like my sun
I cling to it though it burns me because there is no other way
There is no other way for me to live day to day

You're like this, my dear and I fear
that once you've crossed the line of illusion
there is no way to change,
the mark of the shade an indelible handprint on your forehead
a relapse just around the corner
strong enough to take your breath away


There is only one way to save me from myself
But I want to live more than I want to get away
So I will be like this

Here I'll stay.
We’d been together so long, it seemed
That nothing could tear us apart,
We lived our lives in a world of dreams
And Barbara lived in my heart,
But frost had covered the window pane
And then it began to snow,
As Barbara turned, with a look of pain
And said, ‘It’s best that you go.’

I didn’t know what she meant at first
As I looked up from my book,
“Go where?’ I questioned, but thought again
As she quelled my heart with a look.
‘I said I want you to leave,’ she cried,
And her face was set in stone,
‘We’ve come to the end of the path,’ she sighed,
‘I want to be left alone.’

Then suddenly all confusion reined
I didn’t know what to say,
Whatever had brought this mood on her,
I wished it would go away.
But she was firm, and she packed my things
And ushered me out the door,
I stood there shivering in the cold
To be back on my own once more.

I found a flat and I camped the night
There was barely a stick or chair,
I’d have to buy all the furniture
To make it a home in there.
But I sat and cried in the empty room
As the question came back, ‘Why?’
I’d loved her so and my heart was torn,
I thought I wanted to die.

I went to her with my questions, but
She slammed the door in my face,
Whatever love she had had for me
Had vanished, without a trace.
It hurt so much that she cut me off
With never so much as a sigh,
I called that all that I wanted was
To tell me the reason, why?

The roses had bloomed so late that year
Were still in the garden bed,
We’d always tended the bush with joy,
We both loved the colour red,
So I snipped one off as I left one day,
And planted it under her door,
To let her know that I loved her still
I didn’t know how to say more.

Her brother called in a week or so,
Said she was in hospital,
She’d gone in just for a minor cure
And thought that he’d better tell.
So I caught the bus and I went on down
With a quaking fear in my heart,
She hadn’t said there was something wrong
Before she tore us apart.

The doctor came in his long white coat,
His brow and his face was grim,
I said, ‘Don’t tell me the news is bad,’
He said, ‘I’m out on a limb.
Your wife just passed from the surgery,
But she pulled, from under her clothes,
And asked if I’d pass this on to you,’
In his hand was a red, red rose.

David Lewis Paget
I've found that friendships are stones along the wetted path
Some were buried beneath the weight of my unsure
steps as I moved forward
Some became resistant , causing pain
A few proved to be smooth yet treacherous
Even fewer remained stable and trustworthy
Copyright January 16 , 2017 by Randolph L Wilson * All Rights Reserved
 Jan 2017 Dhaye Margaux
r
She sang Hallelujah
I said Amen
sing it again
Sister
just like Leonard
in a voice
so light
and subtle
it could darken
dark eyes
and I will wear black
like a knight
who must compose
himself before day
breaks forever into
its weary fever.
 Jan 2017 Dhaye Margaux
r
No regrets
 Jan 2017 Dhaye Margaux
r
Just give me
a blindfold
and a cigarette,
or two.
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