You see, the hardest thing to endure when you lose someone is not the part where you see him walking away or running even; it's not her shutting the door closed or shouting at you begging to let her go. If anything else, I think that's the end of it.
For the longest time, I thought one only loses someone when they finally got away from each other. Who could've thought that even if we're centimeters apart, and even if my arms are wrapped around you... I still lost you.
I still recall the first time I lost you.
I lost you the moment I looked into your eyes expecting them to shine but all I got were empty glances. The reflection I saw was not at all about me, it's you I see, and I see you're not happy. I lost you the moment I asked about your plans and you kept talking about how you wanted to see the world and make a difference and not even once did you use the word "we". I lost you the moment I tried to write you letters only to find them underneath your pillowcase, sealed, unopened, unread.
I lose you every time I try to gain you back and the hardest thing about losing someone who forced themselves to stay... *is continuously losing them every day.