You never could see,
The tears that I cried,
You never saw me,
And how much it hurt,

You just assumed,
I was the one hurting you,
Did it ever occur to you,
That maybe it hurt me too,

Maybe I was still in love,
Maybe I just couldn't breathe anymore,
Maybe I'm just really sorry,
That I wasn't good enough,

Why can't you realize,
I'm breaking at the edges,
Why can't you realize,
I am dying,

I'm holding on for you,
Holding on to what little I have,
Because all I have is my blood pumping,
And if that stopped so would you,

I know I killed you,
I know it's my fault,
But I am bleeding to death,
And so are you,

It was always my fault,
Because somehow you loved,
The monster that is me,
And you gave me everything,

Of course being the monster I am,
I killed you and your heart,
I broke you on accident,
I swear I never meant to hurt you,



I am so in love with you,
And I am so sorry,
Because when I'm with you I'm suffocating,
But alone I am drowning.

She wipes the tears before you see them,
You assume nothing could be wrong,
How can you not notice that on the otherside of your wall,
One little girl is giving up.

Don't tell me it's all gonna be fine,
Don't say everything will work out,
Because I cry myself to sleep every night,
hoping I won't wake up,
So don't tell me it's okay,
Because it's ******* not.

You think you're the wounded one,
But trust me,
She's laying broken and crying too,
Even though,
She should be the one asleep at night.

Try, try, try again,
Try as hard as you can,
But eventually,
It is just too much,

You have just got to,
Let go of it all,
So that you,
Can breathe again.

They teach, they preach that we shouldn’t act as if we’re
Special
But whisper to all, you and you alone are the one!

My special, precious baby, they whisper

And then we grow up and find that we’re not the best
At math, no scholarship-worthy sports star,
Not shining quite as bright as the whispers once promised

You’re not really that smart, they say out loud
Want some advice?  Keep your head down
Welcome to the adult world- get used to being normal now

Now may I raise my hand and address the jury for the defense?

I might not fit in your genius IQ box-
I wouldn’t know, too scared to test that out
But I’m fairly sure I’m not normal

The room becomes a vacuum
They all turn and glare
All their different stories and they still hate the same

Conceited, they spit the charge at me

No, no please! I beg
You misconstrue my motive

I see things different, connections just make sense
I can reach inside people’s souls and know what they need
I don’t have to work for it
Every second of the day this is the way I see

Insufferable conceit! they shout, they cut me off
Put her in isolation

No, no! I sob to myself, all alone in a concrete cell
I just wanted help

It’s not normal
To walk through life knowing your own mortality
For a teenager to know her dying wish is just to have someone
read every word she ever wrote because
that’s the closest anyone can ever get to understanding

It’s not normal
To be so aware of yourself that you control every emotion
For a teenager to know her life purpose is just to raise others up
because she’s so small within this universe
that’s the only way she’ll have an affect at all

It’s a bittersweet gift, a beautiful curse

I just wanted help
To learn to use it well
To know I’m not the alone
To know I won’t go so deep in thought
That I won’t be able to get out

Let me out of this cell! I yell

The jury turns their backs
I put my head down in defeat

This is my sentence.
The girl who sees can never be how anyone else sees me.