Spinning mad futile psychoses delusional disorder persecutory follow me follow me follow me

Crucify crucify crucify

The lions are at the gates

The LIONS are at the GATES

Please — please, PANIC

They asked for volunteers and you swore

You SWORE

And here you are exposing the secret belying the deepest chasms of affinity for nothing be nothing be nothing be nothing

Thirty pieces of silver is too much

The LIONS are AT the GATES

You SWORE

They told you it would ****

They told you what it felt like to be dissected on a molecular level — to plummet headlong through a blackhole out from the context of what has been and into the being of all that will ever

YOU SWORE

And here we are — here I am alone

And the LIONS are AT THE GATES

And we’ve lost another solider to cafeteria food and freshly waxed vinyl flooring and the smell of unscented soap and non-alcoholic hand sanitizers and the taste of Bob Barker toothpaste that fills your mouth as you scrape your maw with ironlike hard plastic bristles and the sound of a door propping open as you shower to make sure you’re not hanging from the curtain and the taste you get on the back of your tongue when you feel the air that is so stale from locked windows and doors it makes you feel nauseous thinking about it and the girl in the corner of the room who colors and you know that she swore too you know that she swore too you know that she swore too because you were there

And I am left

HERE
ALONE
EVENTHOUGHYOUSWORE
EVENTHOUGHTHEYTOLDYOUITWOULDS­UCK
EVENTHOUGH
THE LIONS
ARE AT
THE GATE

I should have known.
They told me it would **** when they asked for volunteers.

The mind of the lesser man is as rain. It forms in the sky and falls upon him in patterns incomprehensible. The lesser man regards this rain in awe, and lets be known every drop which forms a puddle, but always returns to the sky where it began. Occasionally this man will  learn of rain which enters a reservoir, or a pond and be dumbstruck and say, “All must see this.” And so he will let be known the pond as his highest knowledge.

The mind of the greater man is as rain. It forms in the sky and falls upon him in patterns incomprehensible. The greater man regards each drop in awe, but lets not be known which drop forms a puddle, as he knows this will return to the sky where it began. Occasionally, this man will see a drop which lands in a river, and only this will he regard, as he knows this river leads to the ocean - the source of all rain. This man will not be struck dumb, and will let be known the ocean, as this is the highest knowledge.

The mind of the greatest man is as the ocean. It accepts the rain, and feeds the sky. It is disturbed not by the lesser minds as it knows they are but part and parcel of his whole.

Be as the ocean.
Bemoan not the rain.
Revel in the puddle.
Seek the river.

We sat diagonally across from each other at a dinner table full of mutual friends. I heard you cackle, hysterical, at your own self-deprecating joke. I remember how I was moved by the way the smile left your face with the revelation of its relevance.

I think it’s funny, in retrospect, how I thought you dyed your hair.

Before I learned that you were born with a star locked deep within you.

Before I learned of how that star burst forth in supernova and wove the threads that are now sewing glowing sutures on my soul.

I am slowly fading, contemplating integrating with the sun. Don’t be afraid; I will come back for everyone. In quiet times. In silent minds. Backwoods Massachusetts nights. When snow falls, deafening the light. When snow falls.

I am an angel in the rise

I am angelic in the fall

I am I Am at rest

And awake to such a tall

Man – shaggy hair rising in plaits
Form – immaculate sans
In pitch black etched across his chest

“Shall my hands afford ash?”

Read to a roar of laughter

1000
100
Only us

“Who are you?”

Cut short by a roar of laughter

100
10
Only us

“They call me Cain, brother, and I can only show you ‘what’.”

And what, indeed, amidst fiery chariots and divine palaces suddenly surging from ocean chasms had my thoughts sought to comprehend?

Here I am amidst a dream

A neon second scene

But where is the Word when

Awake, and to multitudes.

The morning sun rises to bring light on a blackened church. There, at a vandalized oaken pulpit I give my sermon. My Bibles were lost in the arsons committed on my home, my church, and the corner shop refuge that once provided living space for local destitute. I am unprepared this Sunday, but the Word flows freely. He ‘Is’ is speaking through me. I look down to my notes and revel in their order. Clean lines, a steady hand stroke on every letter composing a glorious sight amidst the seemingly ceaseless chaos of this life. The times have changed, and so I write these words hoping that they may bring Light to times darker than these.

I am a fool in the rise

I am foolish to fall

I am I Am at rest

And awake to such a bright
Light – refracting subaquatic from
Towers – streaming ribbons with the current
Whilst star-light chariots permeate disorder

“She made ham from ash”

A thought recited to a piercing silence
Singularity while

10
100
Observe

“Where am I?”

A thought recited to a low hum
Singularity while

100
1000
Consider

One – stepping forward from light
Form – immaculate sans
A wild, pulsing eye

“I am here to show you ‘what’.”

Expressionless

“Are you able?”

A smile

A light

“No, come.”

And so, with caution, I proceeded down Atlantean waterways buzzing with preternatural light and rhythm. Amidst this shimmering ocean scene there was beauty and awe which words to comprehend could only paint pictures of madness. And so, I came upon my home.

Here I am a king at sea

With neon throne and queen

But where is my Hand when

Awake, and to multitudes

The morning sun rises to bring light upon a blackened church, home away from home. The attacks grow fiercer by the week, and I have not managed to procure a Bible for today’s sermon. The turnout is better than ever, and the Word flows freely from my tongue. He ‘Is” is speaking through me. The people are queued from pew to door, from street to corner. They seek, en masse, refuge from daily struggles; refuge not found within these Holy walls. Yet, they come. Their order is glorious! Such a wondrous sight amidst the seemingly ceaseless chaos of this life has never before been seen. I write these words in hopes that they may bring Light to times darker than these.

I am sacred in the rise

I am sacramental in the fall

I am I Am at rest

And awake to such insurmountable

Sounds – reverberating
Grounds – quivering
Towers – streaming
Chariots – quickening

“Oh, what a beauteous scene I have come unto! Thank the Highest, thank the Highest! These neon lights, though manifest in form I dread, do not belie the Supreme! Nay, unto him I deem fit all creation! Do not these streams paint your name?! Have not these seams sewn your claim!? I am free among these dreams, and from You have all I need!”

Sang to all who would listen

“Could these hands afford ash, the embers of eternal flame would brand the holy flock! Could I make ham from ash, the maw of sheep would ne’er seek to be sated!”

Sang to all who could hear

“And ye had better listen who doubt the name!”

“But who are you who are such a tall”

Man – shaggy hair rising in plaits
Form – immaculate sans
Opaque lettering across his waist

“Shem HaMephorash”

Read to a crescendo of laughter

Only I
10
100

“Why am I here?”

Cut short by a crescendo of laughter

Only I
100
1000

And why, indeed, had such beauty been shown to one who could not comprehend? Why, indeed, had I been brought to the depths, to revel in that which I have been cast from?

“To pyre, to pyre!”

And so, all the oceans were torn asunder. The final baptism before

10
100
1000
Years


There I was

The second scene

Of all I have conceived, but a dream

But a dream

For here I Am

Amidst the seams

Of all the paths I weave

The morning sun rises to bring light upon a blackened church. It is not Sunday, yet the patrons are queued to the street corner again. These people have come to hear the Word flow, yet the Word for me today is woe. The final sermon: Whole and hearted.

“You are here for me, as I am here for you!
There is but one truth, one way, one mind!
It lies not within one, but within two!
The Singular Multitude!”

My eyes are painted the color of my dying flesh to kindly remind my reflection that it will get rest in the end.
My veins are constant reminders of times when I shared blood and broke flesh.
Please don't mind my voice -- I swear it sounds best to the dead.
I'm sorry if I have vocalized too much regret, but I knew that you would be listening alone in bed.

I knew this kid who would acid wash catastrophes.

He flipped his fiddle to ****** fiends in tweaky scenes.

I rolled up once, to show him that my hands were clean.

He tucked his junk up and copped a couple fingers from me.