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This lack of inspiration is exhausting
because I need to write to feel
and right now I am as emotionless as a lampshade
yet as emotional as a broken hearted hoodlum
this emotional paradox is draining the juice that keeps me running
it is content but it is confusing
the only solvency to this whirlwind of blankness
is unknown
enter into calculator
no solution
this lack of inspiration
a mirror can't even show me who or what or how
the music that enlivens me no longer strikes me as perfection
and it's strange because this darkness isn't dark
it's not light but it's fluctuating
fluctuating like an unsteady heartbeat
and jesus,
I hate religion
what is this feeling of nothing
emotion: blah
it's pathetic
where are the words that used to save me
where is the poem that made me proud of what I had to say
all there is right now
is ranting
and confusion
and **** this because
I can't seem to articulate whatever it is that
I need to say
so **** this
 Sep 2015 Meghan Taylor
A Wegner
I love you when you're sleeping
Even the way you rest your head
I love the words I want to hear
Though never hear them said

I love you when you're sleeping
I listen to your heartbeat
Feel you safe and warm
As you lay down beside me

The morning is a new day
For now, all is right
Which every night time comes again
Each time you close your eyes
<3
Sleep for me tonight
Because I can't do it myself
Shut your eyes and dream of me
I swear I'm in good health
You shut your eyes and fall asleep
And my eyelids begin to fall
The morning comes without a blink
And my name is all you call
But no, I'm not responding
My heart without a beat
You punch and kick, I won't wake up
Finally Sleep.

- N. Morin
MrRight or maybe now or later
Dear Mr.Right,

I think I understand now.

And I get it .

We sit waiting.
Seconds.minutes.hours. days.
For the someone in our life to complete us,

to wrap our wounds and mend our hearts.
To laugh at the jokes  we tell even when they aren’t funny. no especially when they aren’t funny.

To challenge us and to make us forget, but allow us the space to remember.

To know when we want to be held,

but don’t know how to ask,

a mate,

a lover,

a friend.

And we wait.

Believing and hoping they will come and rescues us from the tower,

to fight off the demons and the dragons of the mundane day to day life.

And to win our hand, for rescuing us.

And we sit and wait as we expect them to tear down the walls of our imprisonment whether mental or concrete,

as we become less,

we become dormant,

when we have been given the same tools and opportunities to tie up the bed sheets or cascade our hair down, to escape,

to be free, wasting away in the waiting

I want to warn you

I am not sitting on my bed waiting,

do not look for me in the kitchen making the pies to appease your hunger,

I am out collecting treasures,

and having adventures,

and making memories

with hook and finding my way with pirates,

and traipsing with sinners while believing in saints,

you wont find me with apple scented skin but maybe lemons,

or grass,

or the sea salt ocean

or dandelions,

because I am lying in the meadow looking up at the stars breathing in cold air,

and thinking of you

but you will not find me waiting for the world to be put back on its axis or ask atlas to put down his burden,

im not running away, but Im not waiting in a tower held high above life.

Ill be among the disciples and the hipsters, brushing off the mud of my jeans and rolling down hills with children,

kissing boo boos  and fighting my own demons.

And one day we’ll meet and I ll ask you where were you when I was waiting and maybe you will say looking for you. or maybe you’ll say I was waiting for you. And we’ll be happy to find each other.

I will not let life pass me by while i am waiting, but Ill put pieces of me in all my letters left to tell you of my adventures,

If you thought Id be less pirate more princess I’m sorry to say maybe it’s better this way. I am not dormantly waiting,I want too much for that, I  want to know me before I find you. I want to be single and appreciate the entire bed and not having to share, to look in the mirror and to know my own worth and beauty, and maybe these things will come later in life before or while you are around. I know not your name or the hour in which we’ll meet but tonight I’m thinking of you. Catch me of you can.
TODAY WAS FURKING GREAT
ITS FURKING AWESOME
LIFE IS FURKING AWESOME
AND I HAVE RIGHT NOW TO DO ****
RIGHT AT THIS ******* MOMENT
AND IM GOING TO DO WHAT I WANT NOW
AND CHILL BECAUSE I'M LIVING FOR ME
like today i was chillin in my car and some lady just stared at me like full out stared, turned her whole *** back around too...
and my instinct was to show her how much i didn't give a **** about her
but you know what it's my life, people have no in on my life, they can't change who I am and i should'nt be afraid of that because if i really allow myself to love myself i'll be fine
like...
people don't even exist
it's only me and my life
whoever i let in is my buissness
whoever i don't then i'm sorry we couldnt chill
but life goes on
i can't continue to aspire to be proud of having boys google over me
or be ashamed when people laugh at me
or get embarrased or continue to get jealous over societal pretty girls
like yeah i'm different so the **** what
i'm done trying to prove it
so what i do what i do
it's my life isn't it
i only have this moment and the rest of my life to LIVE
my life is winding down
and i might have wasted 2 months of it...that i can't get back
like...
life is like a big old ice *** full of millions of people
melting little by little every second
beautiful but messy as ****
like were all beautiful, unique, different from each other
Africans, gays, lesbians, whites, native americans, like everybody we all shine equally
life is not a competition
....why does there need to be a high and a low
....lets ******* co exist like God intended
...i dont know about you guys but I'm done fighting myself against the world
the world has enough hate that i just don't want to be apart of and add on too so im out
I'd rather just chill in my own little world
with my people, new people who will come in and out...and maybe back in
...but my world is of love
...when someone calls me ugly...i say...ok and keep it movin
theres  no need to prove to them that i'm not what they think i am, or prove that i'm worthy
...not neccessary
...simply because it's my world
my life
no space, nor time, to be thinking about not giving a ****, about people, about life 24/7 like i think alot more about life thatn i actually live it and its ****** up
....i'm cutting all that uneeccesary thinking out, all that trash talk, all that rebellion against haters, no time to compete
no interest
...i value what i value
i love what i love
...i do what i do
you have your way i have mine
i define my own worth
i define my life
and simply i can choose
so **** U

— The End —