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storm siren Mar 2017
Be the girl who broke the moon.

Be the wind. Be the rain. Be the thunder. Be the lightning. Be the fire that swallows the world.

Be the boy who gave it all.

Be the smell of yellowing pages and black ink. Be the clumps of snow falling on a dark winters night. Be the pink of the coming dawn. Be the sunrise. Be the spring-green leaves on reborn trees. Be the sunset and all the wonders of the night.

Be the person who holds it all in their hands.

Be the tobacco smoke drifting off a corn pipe. Be the smell of fog on a long drive home. Be the storm that rains bullets and stardust on old rooms with black roofs but with no ceiling.

Just be.

Be the blue of the ocean, or the blue of his eyes. Be the call of the siren or the stars in the sky. Be the one that knows the truth. Be the one who speaks it loud. Be the rebel yell. Be the heart of gold. Be the renegade fist. Be pixie dust. Be a silver wish.

Just be.

Be more than you ever imagined. Be better than you were the day before. Be who you wanted to be. Be the person you needed.

Be the girl who broke the moon.
"Slow down.
Stop and take a look around.
You are not a human DOING.
You are a human BEING.
Slow down.
Just be."
storm siren Mar 2017
Lying through my teeth was a lot easier
When I could sit back and pray.
But I don't have anyone, or anything
To pray to anymore.
I'm afraid that you taught me that.
I wish and I long and I yearn
But I surely don't pray any longer.
Because no one answered me
Long ago.
When I was more innocent
When I needed it most.
And I need it now,
But just because you need it
Doesn't mean you'll get it.

There are worse things than
Feeling.
There are worse things than
Wanting to feel.
And what's worse is that you tell me
That you still care
And all I hear are the chorus of angels/demons/monsters inside my head
Telling me that you're a liar just like me.
And I cry because **** it,
I swear that I'm honest.
And I cried because **** it,
Honesty never got me anywhere but farther down this hole.

But there is a light
At the end of this forsaken tunnel!

There is light,
In this dark, cold world.
You choose to ignore it. You choose to be unhappy. And I'm sick of letting you run my state of mind.
You had all you wanted right under your thumb, and you squashed it.
Because you want this state of perpetual sad.
But people are out there dying for us,
People are out there wanting what we have.
And they don't get it,
Because selfish, foolish children like you,
Take it for granted.

But ******* it if I don't leave this world happy.
******* it if I don't change my ways.
I was an extremely angsty teenager. Glad that's done with (mostly).
storm siren Mar 2017
I'm shivering and shaking
And I'm just here waiting
For the world to go a little slower,
Just a little bit
Just a little bit.

My veins were clearly visible
Beneath my pale, pale skin,
As the hot water fell in what felt like bullets
To my dizzy, spinning head.

And I'm still shivering, and I'm still shaking,
And I'm just waiting
For the world to be a little warmer,
Just a little bit,
Just a little bit.

And my skin is like porcelain,
If porcelain could scar.
If porcelain was olive,
And if porcelain held a grudge against the people who treated it like
Porcelain.

I'm just shivering,
And I'm just shaking,
And I'm just sitting here
Waiting.
storm siren Mar 2017
Some people are made to break.
Some people are made to last.

Some people are made out of brittle malachite,
And soft, aluminum filigree.

Others are made from obsidian and jade,
Carved agate cameos for hearts.

But you,
You're made from the most refined lapis,
Crystal clear sapphire of all colors,
With steel and platinum filigree and carvings.
Your heart is warm and soft,
Mainly because it's made up of
Constellations and gold.
And your walls are made out of
Steel and platinum, the same. It drizzles and mists too often behind them.
Your eyes take from your heart,
That very same gold struggling to show
Behind waves of blue skies
That yearn to gloss over the fog
Behind those steel and platinum walls.

But I've found a disparity in your defenses,
A sliver of a crack, that's not too big, but enough so that
I may wriggle through.

And despite my attempts,
Successful or otherwise,
To break down your walls,
When I lay before you,
Naked and vulnerable,
It is not steel nor stone I feel against the pale nervousness of my skin.
Instead, I feel the warmth of constellations, and the curious softness of gold.

Your touch is made up of galaxies,
And so I must ask,
Make me your universe.
storm siren Mar 2017
Fog
My mind is foggy
From my depression.
Something I've been diagnosed with.
Something I only notice
When it gets really bad.

I say things.
Things about myself
That if anyone else said them,
I'd be beyond hurt.

But the fog
Makes it okay.

Because the fog twists things,
And words,
And actions,
And expressions.

And my past makes me paranoid.

Like when you're being extra quiet,
And extra thoughtful,
Introspecting,
If you will.
When you use responses like "I will be."
To my question of "Are you okay?"

It rubs me the wrong way.
I can't take things
At face-value.

Everything is deeper.

The fog makes the distance between us
Seem much bigger than it probably is.

But to me,
It goes on for miles.
storm siren Mar 2017
Distance,
Drifting away
Drifting apart,
It's something I feel deeply,
Something I've felt so often,
That the absence of absence
Makes me feel skittish.

And maybe it's just
Me.

People come
And people go.

They drift in and out of my life
As though I'm a rest stop
For busy travelers
On busy journeys
That I may never
Be a part of.

And though I give them a chance to close
Their strained eyes,
And a chance to rest
Their weary heads,
When they awake
They always expect more comfort.

But I was not made
To make them comfortable.
I was not born
To please.

And when I decide
I would like to start my journey,
They go.
It's too much trouble.

I'm too much trouble.

The absence of absence
Leaves me anxiously pacing,
Panic-stricken,
Ringing my hands together,
Waiting for it to all
Come falling down.

But this absence
Is killing me.
storm siren Mar 2017
I could easily fake
Being socially acceptable
I could easily accept
Falling into a well-received
Stereotype.

I could be pigeon-holed.

But then I'd be a liar.

And I'll never do that.
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