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Elena Feb 2019
I love the way you touch my skin
and smile in the face of sin
gliding, graceful fingertips
I need your soft kiss on my lips

Our chances at heaven are at this point risky
but hell's just gonna be one big party
I'd rather kiss ***** in blazing hell
than sit in heaven under God's dull spell

Let our lipstick mix
as we sweetly disgrace the crusafix;
what's more divine
than the way our fingers intertwine
as we watch the moon shine
and drink satan's red, red wine
sin with me softly
I wish heaven was meant for me,
but grandpa says it's not.
so be it grandpa.
Elena Dec 2018
I'm free
happily bathed in masculinity
makeup feels okay now
dresses are fine somehow
it's like it makes up for
the girliness
with a little splash of free
and happy masculinity

long hair was suffocating
now I feel myself breathing
pink feels less toxic
lipstick's less obnoxious

now I'm living freely
with just a little butch masculinity
sometimes you've gotta live a little
and give in a little
to the crazy person inside your mind
Elena Dec 2018
time passes
up spring the growing grasses
and later, flowers bloom
in pleasant, vibrant shades
shoving away the gloom
as the last of fall fades,
leaving in swirling, leafy parades

as the year goes by,
the grasses slowly grow golden as they die.
the peaches swell
and popsicles do well,
cherries bring that summer smell...

I love the change,
the fresh and the new,
but sometimes it's strange
when the seasons are persistent
and there's nothing consistent
to forever cling to

I'm grateful for the mild California seasons
giving me reasons
to get used to change,
how thankful I really am
to l love the strange
when life hits me with a big, fat yam.

what to do with a yam, I was pondering,
yam-aid isn't a thing-
but then I realized
I'm just **** here wandering
until I make my life customized,
unique, ready to go with the flow
where life and yams take me, I'll readily go

now I sure am glad for the seasons
that give me reasons
to get used to change,
and to love the fresh, the new, and the strange
Elena Dec 2018
Like velvet and silk,
Satin and ruffles,
All greens and browns,
The colors richer than truffles.
All this new grass, shining with dew
Imagine this  -
It's all for me and you.
Songbirds sing,
Flowers grow too.
No one to find it,
Just me and you.
Elena Nov 2018
you're my rock
you always listen to me talk
you're my web of roots,
keeping me upright and standing tall
through storms and life and all.


I love you
I know you go through hard times too
we can do our best to get each other through.
you're my best friend,
I'll be holding your hand until the end.


partner in crime
'till the end of time.
I love you.
without you, what would I do??


some of my friends annoy me,
I like them, don't get me wrong,
but some of them just fight me,
all day long.
but not you, never you.
you're perfect, it seems
everyone will say that can't be true.
no one can be flawless. but you -
you break all the rules,
you're perfect, we were destined
to walk side by side through life.


sometimes it feels like I'm upside down,
everything's wrong,
I'm stuck with this frown,
but then I can hug you
for ever and ever,
and everything right itself again.


you know how a dandelion
has a million seeds
they're so pretty, even though they're weeds,
and as soon as you take away the center,
every little one will scatter?
well if I was a dandelion, you'd be the heart of the flower.
excitement to see you
is my source of power.
you keep me going, it really is true.


you're the center of my universe,
your hugs make my day sunny.
you'll always be first,
on a list from best to worst.
Love, you're sweeter than honey.
Elena Sep 2018
Mirrors scare me
Because whatever person I may see
It's never quite who I want to be

I don't have much fat left, I know this much
But when I pinch my skin between my fingers
I can barely see it as such
And as long as I linger
In front of the dreaded mirror
I can never quite see
Myself as thin as I want to be

Sometimes I struggle to make myself eat
As much as I know I need
Because as soon as I cheat
And let myself eat
My abs are gone and I proceed
To approach the mirror
And see even clearer
Exactly what I don't want to see

"Why won't you let me
pick you up?"
"Don't you want some of this cake?"
Can't you see?
I'm much too heavy,
If only mentally.

I'm mentally heavy
Mirrors don't help me
Mirrors scare me
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