rosemary and romeo begin with a letter

when eurydice fell
down into hell
orpheus wept
stars never slept
for his painful cries
were as pretty as lullabies
but agony pined
in his heartbroken mind.
and when he got a chance
he took one glance
and eurydice fell
back into hell.

echo loved you so much
but all you left her was the whisper of other's words,
the silent swan and mockingbird

Happy Mothers Day/Guardians Day

To all the moms/parental figures who give the world and ask for nothing in return (but deserve the universe)

lesson 1:

you are born with some innocence
and you lose it.
someday in your eighty's, maybe,
or early on too.
how you lose it is a different lesson
and to be honest I'm not entirely sure how.

but children often have some,
so don't take it.
innocence is a candle wick,
deminitioning by the moment.
hold off on lighting their candle.

one man's freedom fighter is another man's terrorist.

in your eyes
a monster lies;

in your smile
a steep beguiled
beast.

in your hair
flames that flare
and cease.

in your mind
what will I find?
an ever delicious
feast.

and in your song
a siren call,
a melody ever
triste.

plastic bags hang beneath my tired eyes
but i got up this morning and i did it.
and i did it yesterday and i will do it tomorrow, and the next day too.
and i will keep on going even if the bags get darker and longer
and i want another five minutes of darkness and comfort.
i will not stop for nothing
and then one day i will wake up and i will have no purple eyes
because i am used to early mornings
and i won't want to sleep in
because i need the sunshine
and i will look back and be proud,
even if i skipped some days or slept in.
Because I did it. I did it. No one did this for me.

And trust me, everyone.
I promise that you can do it too.
you can do anything, even if your world is catching fire,
be the phoenix and renew from the ashes.
have a little hope and you will get there.

she likes to draw
and paint
and she likes her avocadoes.

she is afraid of the dark
avoids people in the park
and she likes her avocadoes.

her hair is copper blond
and this girl is ever fond
of green ripe avocadoes.

she has more fluorite
and lepidolite
than avocadoes,

but man oh man
does she love avocadoes.

hello children.
our lesson today will be on patience.
she is like fire when you try and touch her
but once you have some
it burns for a while.

getting there may be walking through fire, hot coals,
getting there may need your two favourite things taken away,
getting there may be harder than anything, anything,
and you may want to do anything but get there.

but take it from me,
it is paradise here,
and getting here feels so worth it.

nothing I can do, except
fall in love with you, and then
I'll be stuck inside the luck
of having you pretend that
you love me and you want me
even though you taunt me
nothing more could please me
if you would just believe me
I'm drowning in suppression
and I think I need suggestions
for I might just fall instead of fight
but give me wings and I'll take flight

set your own pace
beat yourself
try again
you can do it -
will do it
if you give yourself the right attitude.

how do you think all these flowers survive through late snow?
they shrivel up and begin dying
but don't give in.

and with their perseverance, the sun rewards them.

my hands shake when sunlight hits their stony surface
my heart picks up as if I ran away
away into the dust which settles
on these rusted empty kettles,
kettles that once brewed water
to garden a flower, called
you.

Poem

When you protect a child's innocence,
they see the world more purely.
When you are the cause of their guilt,
they are misunderstood.
But children are much less fickle than opinions and rules and adults.
Adults change the world secondly,
children come and sadly go
but they always know
a little thing called
perspective.
They interpret the world with what they know
and what they know is what you give them.
What they need is a shield, a stuffy, a friend, and an influence.
Save the swords for adolescence.

I told her not to stuff her mushrooms up the chimney.
Not to brew any potions.

Here I am, stuffing my chimney and downing elixirs.
Elixirs that aren't even mine.

Sleep
all the words holding me
soothing me
sedating me.
I don't resist because she is comfort
comfort in letting go and thinking,
dreaming, wishing, hoping, creeping.
Creeping back into myself, finally.
My eyelids weren't heavy
but having them closed makes me sway
in and out and slowly down.
Down into a dark place.
I am not afraid.
My mind is its own anchor
my body losing feeling
my heart slowing.
I am at peace within myself.

Love is always fire,
pretty or pretty destructive.

Hate is always ice,
forever or ever cold.

Sadness is always an abyss
salty water, sinking, drowning.

And you and I are magnets.
I hold you close and then you are untouchable yet attached.

What did I learn today?
I couldn't tell you.
I am afraid of what the future holds,
though in Time's arms,
I'm just a little girl having nightmares about the next eternity.
I feel like I'm dust to the universe
and other times I am the universe,
all the gravity spinning me around,
stars in some spots,
but utter darkness everywhere else.
I either expand or contract,
******* all the life out if you forget your space suit.
Why should a little girl have troubles such as these,
I never wonder.
More like:
why am I lost in an odyssey of myself?

I am afraid of change -
it's so relative, so hard to prepare for.
I might like it better if it came less frequently,
if it waited just a day more so I could enjoy myself in the thicket of catkins.
Or gave me a notice so that I'd know it would be goodbye.

Spring comes again next year, I know this. But too fast we move on from the mourning of Winter. Slow your sunshine, pull the winds back, give me one last song of sorrow before you forget about her and move on.

Like we always do, always moving on, leaving it in the dust.
Take a breath first so I can at least let it go.

Today is April 9th,
Vimy Ridge commemoration.
But it's the morning Prince Philip passed away.
I didn't know him personally, of course,
but it took me by surprise.
It reminded me that nothing really is eternal.
He has been the prince for my whole life and he lived until 99 years old, he would've turned 100 in June.
Anyway, I saw it on TV and I was taken aback because he died.
I don't know of all the things he's done
but I don't know...
My condolences.

Short and sweet,
it's what I eat.

Maybe I miss
the long things written
but with the short and sweet
I am smitten.

like my love for you

Where there is lightening, there is thunder.
Sometimes never to be heard.

I feel bruised everywhere.
On my mind, in my mouth, on my body.
I've been figuratively punching myself,
and selfconciously depriving my bruises of the ice needed to heal.
Sorry hands, but I like the colour purple.

Face them, I'd like to tell her.
They look like shadows but when you touch them,
They turn into fireflies.

"You're not stressed, just bored."
Maybe. Maybe she is bored,
hence her crying in her room alone,
hence her panic attacks hiding in the closet,
hence her tired eyes glimmering with tears,
She is probably just bored.
How can you say that, how can you say that without caring if you break her self esteem, without regret fracturing your heart? How can you say that when you feel the heaviness of her chest as she enters the room, sitting there against the chair with her pale complexion and that look of defeat in her eyes? What kind of person thinks that boredom can destroy a little girl like that?
She is not bored, I promise you.
It is much worse.
She is breaking.
And you just added a crack to her spine,
dismissing her heart like it was nothing.
She is not nothing. She is my everything, but she thinks that she is nothing because you said that she was bored and that the monster in her chest, feeding on her blood supply was a butterfly instead.
How can you say that?

"I would've," she said.
"- but they were busy with someone else."

We don't share the same smile
but I smile when you do.
I'm set on forever...
forever with you.

Kindness is so simple.
But simplicity is so forgotten.
It's a pity that it's so rare.

True freedom is letting go.

I am selfish
she is selfless

guess who is deprived

The contemplation of suicide
might just about override
any other feelings you feel inside,
but please just wait, I promise you
there is another thing that you can do:
call out for help, even if right away
the answer is silent, right by the phone you'll stay.
And call and call and they'll come, you'll see,
but you do that, you hear, you promise me.
Don't overdose, don't pull the trigger
Even though it seems stress can't get any bigger,
if you call for help, it's not just your life you're saving,
you're helping all those who aren't saved by praying.
You matter, you're match is more than everything on Earth,
death is not going to validate your worth,
I will help you, try me any day,
because you matter, because it's going to be okay.

I don't even know anymore.
I had this dream, it was peaceful
and when I woke up I knew it was just a dream.
But now that I think about it, it scares me.
What if...
what if it takes her?

why is it
that inspiration only befriends me
when happiness has not?

I'll be in love when I can dance in front of them as if I was alone.

The destructive daughter
and the delicate one.

The blunt daughter,
and the passive one.

The rageful daughter
and the sad one.

The out burst daughter
and the collapse-in-on-itself one.

The always apologizing daughter
and the always receiving them one.

The destructive daughter
and the delicate one.

where are you, my thought?
I think of you often.
I remember you in the hallways,
see your smile in the empty chair beside me,
hear your laugh in this silent hot room.
my dear thought, where are your brown eyes and crooked smiles?
give me another thought please.
one where your voice responds to mine.

Snakes.
Some are poisonous,
but only when they bite you.
Only when you make them.

I wonder,
do birds love each other,
or is it just a people thing?

*** and him.
In a bag. In a memory.
in a long while ago.

Here we go again

through paradise

with scorching sun and heavy storms

and crocodiles and butterflies;

starlight and clouds

and you and me and nothing.