I can't take you with me
the trail's too steep
but I'll pack a few blurry pieces of you
sea shells and sand grain
boating and Busch Light

I'm rolling up your long, loud laugh
and putting it where the socks go.
so when I rest again,
I can unzip,
and hear you.
through tattered mesh pockets
holding fuzzy drunk photos
too fleeting and fast, your face

I’m taking you with me
The scraps of your smile folded into my sweater
Your voice explodes
As I roll my sunny yellow dress to fit

Perhaps I'll wear your laughter
to a party in some other town
to compliment my flower crown

You’re a figment of the flavors in my imagination
Poems used to flow from me
like pitchers on filthy Friday
When I could taste your fruity orange
So I canned you cleverly to keep
My own jarred jam
growing richer with time
You’re mixed with coriander and cardamom
Rich and bitter
Complex and aromatic like an after dinner liquor

You were not so complicated
Fresh and shockingly sweet
ripe juicy laughter
But I can't taste your **** tangerine anymore
Just aged jelly
Tainted by my sugared imagination
Salted by hallucinogenic memories

You never tasted like a jar of jam
I ******* own bitterness
My own fear inflected upon your sunny orange smile
You aren’t old and canned
You’re dynamic and quick
A marathon sprinter
A warm melting winter

For how long can I brush you
Into the retro neon landscape
Before you crumble under the pressure
Of my meticulous mental carvings
You’ve evolved
holographic
By my wishful watercolors
And I love you so much that way
I forget
That I’m the one directing the light

A fantasy
You are to me
A tidy tailored dream
Where all the messy parts of me
Fit neatly in the seam

Where you and I would fall in love
On sparkling Mississippi
You’re captain of our river boat
And I’m the glam-est hippie

Every day is fresh cut fruit
And belly laughs with friends
Chilled Busch Lite in the cooler
Sunny summer never ends

We party at the oyster bar
And laugh ourselves to sleep
It’s candy apple USA
A tan that you can keep

Our tribe is in the valley
With the lighthouse at the dock
We’ll drink and talk our nights away
Amidst the limestone rock

A fantasy
Can only be
Kept while you close your eye
Beneath your stupid captain’s hat
You’re just another guy

I’m leaving you here
At our sleepy harbor dock
The place we used to drink and talk
Our faces lit by moon
But I’ll forget you soon
Please drift off down the river now
So I won’t be reminded how
Your laughter lit the night
Float gently out of sight

I’m sick of writing sad poems
It’s all I ever do
My fingers tug my heartstrings
And the only notes are you