I thought it would be a good time
Just a good time with friends
But it went way too fast.
I started with 3 sips.
It led to a drink
Then another
Then another.
I'm stumbling, trying to find my way.
I swear, it's a straight line.
Don't take it, I can have more. I'm really fine.
No, my sober friend wants a word.
She is going to ruin my fun, I just know it.
I walk outside, bracing for her yells-
But I can breathe again.
The air is so much better out here.
I realize, I have no idea what I'm doing, and I have had way more than I realized.
I'm so sorry that I got this way.
I want to sleep, but I can't fall asleep.
Must...Stay...Awake...
"Are you okay?"
No, I need to sit up. Help me sit up.
"Let's take you back to your room..."
And I walk outside, and I walk up the stairs.
I take a few steps, take a few more,
But no, I need to stop now.
I see the trashcan and I need to stop.
I feel the burn in my throat as my body rejects the poison inside of me.
Now I can walk more.
My roommate takes care of me because I can't myself.
But now, she must help others.
I'll be fine.
No, I'm not fine.
I sprint to the bathroom
And it's burning again.
I call my Preston, and he helps me through it all.
All these sober friends are loving me more than I deserve.
He talks to me, keeps me awake,
click goes the receiver, because the burning has returned, and I'm too ashamed for him to hear.
I'm almost crying, because I'm just so, upset at myself.
How did I get this bad?
I never thought I'd drink so much, that I threw it all up so violently.
I call back, and then go to bed.
Trashcan handy
Trying with all my might to stay on my side.
It was so much fun before it all kicked in.
Being drunk is fun
But being wasted is a nightmare.
A night full of shame and regret and helplessness.