I'm so cold today
but this
can't be
it's
summertime

I touch my arms
they are
warm
I touch my legs
they are
warm
I touch my lips
they are
a little
cold

I don't feel right
my heart don't
feel right

I put my hand
over my
heart
It's still there
but it also
feels a little
cold

Maybe I'm just
getting
a
cold heart
finally

It's 4.02am
the usual numbers
flicker on the screen
as I stare
and wonder
clock watching
it becomes an
old habit
a creature of such.

4.03am
glancing at the
time as my
battery dies slowly
it slips away
in the same vein
as my mind that
was lost back in
adolescence on a
sleepless night as I
counted the stars in
the blacked out sky.

4.06am
my mind is alive
fireworks are kicking
to come alight in the
last few moments
before dawn breaks
across the moors and
over the cattle that
fill the fields around me.

4.07am
adverts scream from
the television that
keeps me company
into the hours that
pass surprisingly quickly
which always unsettles
me.

4.08am
am I still real or have I
turned into a nocturnal
varmint of sorts as the
animals and freaks all
come out
at night.

4.12am
I see dusk and dawn
midnight and noon
curtains drawn
my head
falls onto
the pillow as I
hope only
to
sleep.

© Sia Jane

Exchanging a few stares and glances
As our lips touch those champagne glasses
Drinking and laughing, a few kisses in between
Staring into each other's eyes, like it's all a dream
Gently caressing your hand as I hold my champagne glass
My mind full of sweet thoughts, as things get intense
Getting so lost in the lust of the moment
As you kiss my lips as the clock strikes 8
All my mind can think of is you
And those lips that make me weak
And those eyes that makes my heart skip a beat
Love is in the air, intense passion fills the room
All I can smell is that perfect perfume
That you're wearing tonight
The one you know I like
The one that drives me wild with desire
Makes me wish this night could last forever
Just having you here, smoking cigarettes
And then later into the night
We share a single joint
Smoking it together
Like two committed lovers
The smoke fills the air
As we inhale it
And all I can think of is
All the precious memories
That we'll share together
In eternal happiness

Special moments like these
are what I live for
they bring out the best
in the worst situations
giving hope and faith
to me when I need it the most
I consider myself ever so grateful
for knowing such wonderful
and beautiful people
whom I feel blessed
to know

Lucky me I'd say
for sharing the same
oxygen as these treasures
in my complicated yet lovely life

I never thought I'd be lucky enough
to encounter such sweethearts
the kind of loyal companions
we all seek in our adult life
the ones who speak the truth
to our face
and the ones who
say nice things
behind our back
that's something special
I'll tell ya that now
friends for life, aye
lucky me
definitely

You push me towards the edge
Every single day
It's so hard to care anymore
When you're there
Ruining me

You drive me to the point
Of collapse
Might as well crash a car
And never look back

Your irresponsibility makes me sick
I thought you were smarter than this
But no, because here I am
Awake all **** night
Just because of your
Supposed dying attempt
Do you not see how much it hurts?
Watching the closest person to me
Acting like that?
I don't think you understand
The pain I feel
When you
are like this

I adore you with my life
But this is wrong
Scaring the life outta me
That's beyond wrong
When you know
I'm not strong

Like, how dare you
I finally got my Insomnia on track
And then you go ahead
And do that
Sick

On such a high right now
And it's not ****
Before anyone
Starts to ask me
Their questions
And things

Such a strange feeling
Not butterflies
In my stomach
But definitely goosebumps
Up and down my arms
Feels like my heart had
A minor love attack
Feels so good though

Happiest I've been in months
Wishing every day and night
Could be like this
So sweet and charming
Soothing and not alarming
And not health damaging
Just a sweet feeling

Can't describe it in just words
So here I am
Writing a poem
Like the poet
I am

Just, so alive right now
Like, wow