I’m so tired, exhausted in fact.
Tired of waiting.
Tired of feeling.
Tired of believing.

I wish I could sleep through it all.
Dream through the hurt.
Dream through the time.
Dream through the numbness.

But I can’t sleep.
Even if I could, I’d still be tired of living.

I went on my bike following the red thread.
Just like every other day, the one thing I ever had.
And so I went and the water next to me got so wavy.
And so dark, darker than darkest blue navy.

It won't cover me here cause there's no burning suffering.
When the red thread is covering my skin.
I can just keep on cycling.
Always singing.
About how I won't be ok.
It's not alright and it can never be fine.
Still this moment is always mine following the red line.

I went on my bike cycling and singing.
That is always ok.
So the burning will finally stop stinging.
Like every single day.

Each night I call for my love,
Yet I get no response.

Each day I think of my sweetheart,
But I can’t get further than a thought.

Each evening I cry for my darling,
However tears solve nothing.

Each hour I picture my angel,
Though the image is no longer clear.

Life used to be so dull,
My heart used to be so heavy.
What I thought was an eternal pain,
Is now just a memory.

Since you came alone,
I can finally breath again.
Your soul fills my lungs,
You are my oxygen.

You’ve brought back my brighter days,
I never thought they’d return.
Thanks to you my angel,
I couldn’t ask for more.

Dear readers , its that time
again for me to talk to you
and explain. I write from the
core of my heart. I write
because he exists from the
start. Its hard to weave all
these emotions under your
skin. Its hard to love in
silence because to others
your love might seem
as sin.

Dear readers , the heart
wants what it wants. No
culture or religion or God
can put a stop. We as living
human beings were created
from the same star dust.
Therefore setting no rules
for love should be a must.

Dear readers , love is a
mixture of pure emotions.
It's not just about being
***** and craving lust. It's
about that spark that's set
in the depths of your souls.
Its about that energy thats
created when we kiss and
touch. Its sacred and
pure.

Dear readers , don't
complicate love. Its a
blessing from the heavens
above. The best gift we
could ever have. Feel it ,
adore it , obsess it , hold
it. Plant it in your souls ,
plant it where ever you
go. Dear readers please
don't deny this and say
no. Carry love with you
on every road you
go ~

I wanted suicide. My eyes
could tell about my living
hell. But letting go of all the
ugly and hurt was the key of
ending it all. Holding onto
beautiful things was the
only way to survive.

Holding onto love had me
living my life. Happy and
free it made me. My heart
felt what it was craving for
all along. It wanted to be
caressed and  adored.
My heart never asked
for more ~

I feel numb and cold. I
feel isolated and bored.
My hands have sinned
again. This body is no
longer holy without you
by its side. Without your
hands caressing my
arms and thighs.

I painted a map on the
wall. Planned to build a
raft to float across the
ocean hoping to land
on your shores.

I can't sleep alone
anymore. I have to
move next to you. I
forgot what is it like to
feel. Lost my appetitive
and will to survive. I
need you badly in my
bed sheets tonight. I
stained the walls
with geography.

Paint splattered on my
shirt. And now I'm left
with nothing to do but
to write you a love note
and head out to build
that boat.

I'll be kicking these
waves soon. By dawn
i'll be wrapped up in
your arms. And we'll
be kissing again under
the moon light. But now ,
i have these feral
waves to
fight ~