I am in control of my sanity...
   like a drunk man is in control of his driving

I pinch my arm
I slap my wrist
the feeling is like charm
I cannot resist
it all feels the same
internal hurt or that which is physical
I hate that it came
pain slithered into my life and became normal
took my heart captive like venom
could not fight it, I am a mere mortal
happiness became seldom
sadness gave me a cactus hug
it made me shrug
I soon forgot it was sore
because it is the only feeling I now know

the love I have for you
hauntingly beautiful
you make my heart a raging storm
then a calm stream after a storm
you are my tornado, a hurricane
******* away from feeling normal
your love feels like a breeze
you provoke my emotions with ease
my match,  I am your octane
let's turn this spark into a fire
I am scared but this is what I truly desire.