I was so angry.
My anger an rage could fill the whole universe. What was I so angry about? I can't change the past, but I can change from reacting to responding.

My anger could peel oil paint off the walls. My anger could make the whole room silent. My anger made people disappear from my life.

Some how I need to let go so I can succeed mentally.
I can change myself, from the inward to out ward. I was always trying to control the outcome of how people viewed me or how they didn't do something.

I have no control over all that an yet when it didn't happen that way or it didn't go at all I was disappointed an that turned into anger.

sadly I had no recollection of how this would affect my relationships, my soul, my career, the way I viewed things, the way I viewed people including myself, an life in general.

Anger was my way of defending in a world who seemed not to care, who could not defend me.

Anger was a tool for me to avoid pain, hurt, an sometimes the anger turned to numbness an I couldn't feel anything.

It's time to let go of the pain of the past an sometimes you don't know where to begin

I breath in and I breath out all the poison you put in me. You stabbed me in the leg but you were on some meds, You said we were playing and now life is just a game that I don't want to play. 

The meds they get you and I guess I don't. The meds went first and I didn't even think to ask twice.

Sometimes you get a little funny on them like say Buenas nachos instead of saying buenas nochez.

Then other times it would sadden me to see you on these meds because the meds took your soul, an the worse night came.

One night I had to watch you but I had to shut my door as you laid up in the other room screaming I want to **** myself. I couldn't reason with you so I had to leave you in your own demise. 

My heart was saddened but I don't think anyone in that house had a will to live but more so a will to leave.

An you were stranded in your own mind and desert of a heart to the point where you were stuck without water and in now where's land.

When I think of my old behavior I cringe. When I think of what I did to you I cringe. My thoughts cringe over and over.
My heart cringes at the thought that I ever did that to you.
What I have done to you, I have done to many others without even realizing it.

So thank you and I let you go.

When I look at your soul I see beauty, an it makes me want to get lost in your soul. Your Soul has light, some darkness but the light of your soul overcomes that.
I love your soul because it's beautiful, filled with love, and kindness. Yet so many other aspects one can hope for. It has a hope deep down, that nothing can destroy it.

Yet there is some pain.I look into your soul can grab the pain and you're free. Your Soul is free to be the real you. The beautiful, messy, loving, kind, beautiful imperfections, and not shaken by anything or anyone no more.
Your Soul is free to roam this earth, the Heavens, the universe itself. Your Soul is free!!!

Your Soul learns to let go, to love unconditionally, to be who you were meant to be an no longer bound by others, your negative actions or negative thoughts that deprive you deep within.
Your soul free!!!

I take a stroll and there she is fading in and out.
Oh where is she, where she'd go?
Where did the days go?

The days were there as it seemed. She wonders where will life take her or will she take life. Oh where has life gone. Oh where have the days gone.

They fade and turn to night and night fades to day. There's no in between now a days. It's all black and white and sometimes there's a pop of color. It seems as though the mundane of life has caught up with her.

Oh where have all her friends gone and she doesn't have to live in the oh where state but it's in her. Her heart is more tender and caring than most would know.

She says and thinks oh where, but she can choose happiness, and joy at any time. She's just lost in Oh where land at this time.

So leave a message after the beep, or just write a letter.

I feel this tightness in my chest almost everyday, and it aches to no end.

I wasn't sure what it was at first
Sitting here wondering what's this tight pain in my chest? Going over and over.

Making a list of all these things angina, anxiety, stress, cardiomyopathy, or maybe it was from something I ate. Thinking oh what could it be?

Layer upon layer I had to take my heart apart only to find the answer was heart break.

It hurts being here because almost every where I go there's memories of what we have done, what I wanted to do, and what could have been but that's life. 
There's memories of you in my clothing. Memories in my music and every time I do anything.
I know in time this will fade but right now my soul and heart are in pain. An I am letting go of you in every way because you have let go of me and that's okay.
Thank you for being my friend and every day I apologize for doing what I did. I forgive myself though but I realized it's what had to happen, even though in my heart it hurts. That pain shall fade too.