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Caesar Mar 10
I hate many things
I hate me
I hate my voice
I hate my hair
I hate my acne
I hate my nose
I hate my last name
I hate my skin
I hate my feet
I hate feeling uneven
I hate geese’s
I hate the ocean
I hate snakes
I hate me


Because why not
Because It’s sounds wrong
Because It never looks how I want it to
Because It makes me look *****
Because It’s shaped wrong
Because It reminds me of them
Because it’s uncomfortable
Because It’s ugly
Because It’s needs to be symmetrical
Because they’re mean without reason
Because I don’t know more about it
Because I hate liars
Cause I can
Caesar Mar 10
The blind bird is caged
Yet hopeful
The blind bird sings
And people wonder why
But because the blind bird hears the echo of his song
The bird responds back
The blind bird is hopeful
Just hope no one asks
Caesar Mar 10
Dear dad

Dad, daddy, papa, pop, Baba,— but you weren’t ever quite my father, I hate the term step dad, especially with you— you treated me with sweetness that was almost bitter, you coddled me but you made me brave, you made me: me.


Without my dad, without you in my life I wouldn’t be the bold young lady, and man I’ve growing to be, with the taste for a thrill and humor I’ve held onto right— you were the father I had, one of the Two: though through the parody I call my life, you were indefinitely my favorite dad, daddy, papa, pop, baba.


To you my step dad, my step— can’t quite make the mark, my not so perfect yet fun role model this is your unearned apology:


So my dear,  dad, daddy, papa, pop and baba—I am sorry, I am sorry for still caring about you even though you have exited my life, I’m sorry that I could never quite figure out wether I loved you or not, I’m sorry for never trying the food you wanted me too— even when you offer to pay me. I am sorry for forgetting whether I forgive you or not.



But nevertheless I am not sorry for. my dear dad, daddy, papa, pop, baba for hating you for you out lashes, the stench of alcohol you reeked of after and during every argument, I am not sorry for looking at you with betrayal, I will never forgive you for what you put my mother through, and what you put my brothers through.


You are my dad, my daddy, my papa, my pops, my baba and my father— but I need to take a step back, dear step dad, I hope you forgive me for that.
IT'S A POEM LETTER GUYS PLEASE
Caesar Nov 2024
I find comfort In the dark
Like the night
The silence
And the villains that used to play on my tv screen
They were brave
Though called cruel
They spoke their
heart
Misunderstood from the start
In the world so bleak
And without a clean slate to start from
They were hopeless from the start
A horrible upstart
Close to my own
I hold villians close to my heart
Shielding them from the hero
Which is all to bland
And to be blunt
There always painted too brightly
Bold colors
Bright and popping
Showing they are brighter
Better than crime the villain
Dark and shy
Most the time unable to fly
Why do wee pain them in such colors
We’re all to simple minded
To believe in a world of crime
Color could truly describe
Lot of topic on this one
  Nov 2024 Caesar
Trevor Gates
Welcome to tonight’s show

Allow me to introduce myself.

I go by many names


Some of which, you may know
But those do not need to be mentioned
a howl, a moan, a scream, a summoning
Let’s keep this interesting.


This is the midnight calling
This is the raven cawing

This is the shadow lurking
And the jackals slurping

The demons wailing
While Charon is sailing,

The Acheron
The river
The first

The Eternal song
Of dripping livers
and Thirst

Stop

This is all confusing
And amusing
To some
And many
But to me it is painful

Demeaning
Putrid
Repugnant
Detrimental
Disturbing

And

­A subjective simmer of passivity
A pious dose of sheer calamity

Once upon a time

In a land past the desert
Was a neon capped city
Devoid of hope

And shaped by
Casual nihilism

And too much money

A powerful portrait in all its brevity
The display of sweltering people melting against the asphalt
The mucous sunscreen and coarse sand between the toes

And crooked nails
And bleached hair
And coffee stained teeth
And pink nails
And Gucci purses
And Versace dresses
Shutter Shades
Corvettes
$5 lap dances

And promiscuous preteen slaves
To MTV
VH1
Pop sensations
Internet ****
Social networks
Smart phones
Model rock stars
Models
Interviews
Auditions
Mundane seductively
For him
Or she
The nepotistic aficionado

of  

Delicious, robust, superb, disdain  
*******: Nose Candy
******: Snake venom
After Parties: ******* adrenaline
***** Film tryouts: Garage studio
LSD: Acid
Plastic: Lips, skins, *******.
24/7
Hits of E
X-T-C

and

Do you have change for a hundred?
Or a change for a life?

Cites in Dust
Thank Siouxsie and the Banshees; A carnival.

Shout
Tears for Fears, they’re Head over Heels

Love will Tear Us apart
From Joy Division, who claims she’s lost control

Los Angeles
“X”
Exene and Billy Zoom’s Wild Gift.

The perpetual rise of sunset rockers and Neon knights.
Teens crawling through the muck of socialites and incubator nightmares
Civil borders wired by racial slurs and salivating bigotry
Water replaced by blood
Spit interchanged for souls
And fire traded for icy methamphetamine

Warriors and survivors

Poets and dreamers

Shooters and inhalers

Geeks and groupies

Burnouts and Dropouts

Sweet dreams are made of this



Such a show, such a show! Bravo Bravo! Thank you, thanks to all I have time to thank: Martin Sheen, Julius Ceasar, Fender Guitars, Randy Marsh, elbow pads, Chuck Berry, Al Green, X, Joy Division, Tears for Fears, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Less than Zero, Alucard, Humphrey Bogart, Grace Kelly, Daryl Dixon, George Harrison, Brad Pitt, Rooney Mara (Love you), Belstaff, Emma Watson (Love you too), Laure Heriard Dubreuil, Manolo Blahnik, Hannah Murray and Michele Abeles.

So many to mention, so little time. We’ll be back.
This is one of my favorites I've done so far in this series. I had just finished reading Less Than Zero by Bret Easton Ellis and watch Gregg Araki's films, The Doom Generation and Nowhere, which all three sum up the existentialism and merging rampancy of living in Los Angeles, California. An experience I will never forget.
Caesar Nov 2024
I’m in need of support
For you see
theses shoulders can not bear one more grief
A Mistake
A Argument
Or even a mean stare
For If I dare to kneel I might reveal that I—
I’m in desperate need of support,
The need that is deeper than the trees buried and twisted deep with this very earth
A Feeling so strong yet rejected each time with even more force
For I am in need of support
For I need a shoulder to lean on
To let the load off my shoulders
A shoulder to weep on
For although I’m not a man of many sorrowful words
And I don’t often make a peep
But for now I’m in need of someone’s support
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