I'd be lying if I said I didn't at least wish
For things to be a little different
But I chose each of these paths branching
And sometimes I want to weep
Alone in the forest with the willows
But I sigh deeply and alone
In a mountain of soft pillows
So I suppose things could be worse

I know so many more sunrises are coming
And there's still time for transformation
But it's hard to rise and not want to sleep
And these molehills seem so steep

I'd be lying if I said I have been content
There's just no excitement anymore
I used to be vibrant neon sweet
Now I feel like a box of stale cornflakes
With an AARP discount on the back
A water damaged readers digest
Scrambling to try and find the cool me
In this sea of melancholy poetry

Because the landslide brought me down
But it's okay for I'm made of Earth
Taurus is my sun sign but I moon bathe
In Aries which didn't make much sense
Until I realized how much I love candles
But I rise in Capricorn which is perfect
I find myself almost always grounded
But my Venus is in Cancer waters
And I wade in dark emotional pools
Where there's room for more than two
I traded champagne for soda water
Because my soul began to drown
But I'm decorated in crystal jewels
And my lair is filled with soft warm
Candles glowing and dry dead flowers
Stacks of books and spiritual statues
Keeping true to my astrological identity
Because the landside brought me down
And other than stars I am Earth

Sea to share the shore
But she's a sociopath
Skillfully she shimmers
Sways and slithers

He didn't see it coming
That great wall of water
When she averted his eyes
To a wondrous pastel sky

Sea submerged the shore
Secretly and sneakily
Sinking ships and scenery
A wet and salty cemetery

I follow your dark cloud
Never bringing an umbrella
Saturated in all of your sadness
Shaken by your thunder bursts
Shocked when you get electric
And pushed aside in your gusts
I'm sure to most it may seem odd
Just extremely harsh and exhausting
But to all those who find me mad
You've never seen his light shine
Gently spread over a meadow
Or heard his booming laughter
Or basked in the warmth of his smile
Or have had his fingers in your hair
So I follow his dark cloud
And walk through all his storms
So that I may lie down in the grass
And drink in all of his warmth

Prophecies in the scrying mirror
Something had gone totally awry
I'd taken the wrong prong in the fork
And have been obsessively wondering why
My dreams and intentions were simple
Build a galaxy and life with my love
But he was just a crow painted white
The peaceful milky shade of a dove
This dream must come to a flat line
A ****** from within must ensue
This secret depressions gone on too long
A rewiring and new outlook is due

Sprawled out in my skin
Hair cascading softly
Over black silk pillows
Gazing off into and through
The ceiling flickering from
The candles waltzing
To Chet Baker singing

Fantasies compiling
Eyes slowly closing
To reopen transported
Champagne and petals
Vintage leather jackets
And black boxer briefs
With air dark and sweet

Fingers caressing
Lips tasting and exploring
Bliss in a California king
A variety of beautiful men
Adoring and pleasuring
Lounging in a sea of lust
Forever playing make believe