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Jun 2019 · 217
(I think its a rap)
Jessica Jun 2019
Im out of love
Im out of this fraud
Im done
Ive been hurt so many times
I stopped this smile
And everything is a lie
Now
To protect myself
I set berrier with everyone else
No more trust
No more lust
its just me
I see no us
It hurts but the pain
Never goes
So id rather hurt myself
Thousand time more
Than see me not strong
In love or caring
Sharing all of this has stopped
No more stabbs
No more dissapoints
I know im down alone
But ill break my heart rather my soul
Cause my hearts not cold
But i have a black soul
Thatll cover my reputation infront of yall
And show
How strong
Not a little girl anymore
A disguise
To survive
Behind a lie
So heres the deal that i ought
ill leave my ego with you
And my problems with me
And everything will be
Youll see
The big picture of me
And ill make sure
To hide from you
All the insecures
And Whats down
Inside
It Wont come out

Until someday
Maybe
We might find out.
Jun 2019 · 253
Look closer
Jessica Jun 2019
Look at me and tell me what you see
No emotions and darkness you seek
Barriers are build with mirror and shades
But step closer and see this is all fake

A shell of no effection
No emotions
All dark and silent
Holding on to an ego
A reputation
Of manipulation
Lost sensations
You think im strong
You think im cold hearted
Dont care
Shes too chill
Well break that shell of ice
And look beneath that frame of lies  
Because behind all of that ash
Is a baby girl that got stabbed in the back

No she doesnt want to look back
All of the past
Made her what she is now
And you think
She is
The strong ***** thatll deffend
But no shes forced
Shes hurt
Shes lost
So many battles that she stopped fighting
She stopped caring
But she cries
And she hides
Every ******* night
Her insecure
Her loved ones
Her memories
And what hurts her

She cares
she loves
she dreams and shes pink
but life and everyone has put her down
So many times that she hides
Behind a mask of lies
To protect her fragile
Yeah i mean after all of those times
She fell
But She stood
With a crown
And no sound
Cause she tired
And shes alone
Maybe shes waiting
For a prince or savious
To look beneath her and see
That behind this worrier
Is a ******* queen
Not sure what i just wrote but oh well
May 2015 · 450
If only
Jessica May 2015
If only I closed my eyes and walked away
If only you didn't look at me and speak that day
Oh I wish you wouldn't have came
To deprive my eyes from sleeping
And allow the coincidence to play its game
Oh i wish at that trice I wasn't there

As if I've known you're eyes for a thousand years
As if a lifetime passed and I didn't live
Emotions that I couldn't explain blew
Only the feeling of passion knew what I felt

If only I didn't open my eyes to the world that day
If only I didn't fall asleep to the most beautiful tales
I wouldn't have woken up knowing love
I wouldn't have had tears and thoughts
If only your smile didn't hypnotize
And if only your eyes didn't keep me up all night
I  wouldn't have let my illusions dream of you
I wouldn't have wrote that poem about you

If only I closed my eyes and walked away
May 2015 · 510
she loves you
Jessica May 2015
No one will ever love you the way she did
No one will ever love anyone the way she loved you
And even after ten years from now
If you ask her
Shell tell you:
"im still in love with him
Im still in love with his all
His flaws and his world
im still in love with him and beyond"
May 2015 · 403
Untitled
Jessica May 2015
I didnt know you were the person i was going to stumble upon
I never knew youll come to start a fire in my heart
Id be lying if i said this fire will ever settle
Even if itll burn my heart to flames
I know those are the ashes of which for i changed
Apr 2015 · 497
Love is... (2)
Jessica Apr 2015
Love is craving, dreaming, obsessing, feeling, falling
A battle inside you of bunch of emotions
Smashed into your heart
To create the poetry of love
To make you feel happy that he's here
Nervous to miss him all this time
Furious to hug the hell out of him
Sad to be just a friend
Depressed because you're craving his touch
Mad because she's beside him
Adrenalin you caught him staring
Crying like a maniac at night because nothing happened
Smiling for picturing both of you holding
Losing pronunciation when he says hi
Feeling the world just froze when he stares and smiles
Relating every song to him
Obsessing on his smallest details
His hands, lips, eyes, that beard, and smile....
And you fall asleep thinking of him
Wake up thinking of him
You worship his voice
You think of him all day long
You pray for him
You dream of him

You live for him

You ******* love him
You only love him
You love his all
His flaws and his world

you love him and beyond
Mar 2015 · 388
A letter to her..
Jessica Mar 2015
With all the things you said
And how much you convinced yourself
Positivity and hope
You dreamed all day and night long
Yet you still recognized all those black holes
But you reminded yourself to see what's real too
"I don't want to disappoint myself"
You said to yourself
But deep down inside you you had hope
Deep down inside you you had dreams
You dreamed and loved
Passionate and young
But now you decided to open your eyes
Now you want to live outside the fairy tail you built
And here you are between those four walls
Crying yourself to sleep
But yet you closed your eyes
You closed your eyes and saw his smile
You denied his ignorance
You denied his absence
And you still add colors on the dark page
Open your eyes dear
Open them wide
You've changed your all
You've changed what's around
You changed your destination
Just to follow his path
You carried hope
And convinced yourself
Love is beautiful
Love was meant
But now you're left all alone
Lost and tears
Everything happens for a reason you know
So remember the things you did for his sake
And all the time you looked up and smiled
Remember what's meant to be always always find it's way
I hope those beautiful stories you built don't end near
I hope life won't disappoint you my dear
And every scene you imagined become a memory
I hope you find love
I hope he finds love
I wish, as you woke up to see what's real,
He opens his eyes, to see you,
The same way, you were seeing him, and only him, for the past 6 months
I wish you love
Mar 2015 · 719
Cheers
Jessica Mar 2015
To the things you've changed
To the me you made
To the feelings you built
And to the days we spent
To your eyes, your smile
Your scar and vain
To euphoria and misery
To every second since August
Here's to the year that started with you
Ended with you
And has been about you
Cheers.
Dec 2014 · 866
بحبك
Jessica Dec 2014
بحبك
With each day even more

بحبك
And beyond

Even with your flaws and world
You're still my perfection
My addiction
My all

بحبك
that's my only word
"بحبك" ( pronounced bhebak ) : means i love you in arabic
Dec 2014 · 596
Horror of the heart
Jessica Dec 2014
I've been haunted by you
I've been haunted by your love
I've been haunted by your eyes, your smile and touch
I've been haunted by those feelings
That I'm holding on to
Your smell your voice
And the things we've been through
It's the horror of the heart
It's the fear of love
But I've been exorcismised by your soul
And lost in your world
It's the horror of the heart
It's the fear of love
And I've been haunted by you
I've been haunted by your love
By your everything and beyond
And the fear of love
Oct 2014 · 565
It's not a poem!
Jessica Oct 2014
love is literally doing the unexpected
its when youve lived your whole life trying to avoid that one thing
but once you fall, that thing youve avoided all this time becomes your favorite
love is when his flaws are blessing
and his smile is everything you need
love is when he walks by and you take a deep breath;
because youre smelling his perfume for sure
and trying to catch your breath because he gave you a mini heart attack
love is getting addicted to horoscopes
you just check his horoscope everyday just to make sure hes ok
and sometimes yours to see if there will ever be a chance or so
love is gazing all day
thinking of him
of his hair
and that beard, breath taking beard
craving to touch his beard, the beard of a patient man,
love is loving his smile
that smile they mentioned in songs and fairytails
the smile your mom described when you were 4, and told you its prince charming's smile
the smile youve dreamed of
and now its finally true, you can see it
that smile when he finally smiles you look up and it feels like the whole world literally froze
you forget about every person around you
and all you can see is that smile
its the smile of that brave man, with a beard, hiding a small child inside
well both of them, the man and the child inside, have stolen your attention ever since you met them
ever since you fell for them
ever since theyve been the only thing on your mind
and in your heart
and all your life
its like your whole world is about that man and the child inside him
you see whats right through him,
you cry cause you know that hes crying inside
and you fall apart when your shoulders touch as he walks beside
and you pray for a small conversation between you two
and you spend nights and nights thinking about the small sentence he told you
and every time you have an eye contact it takes you an hour to calm yourself
and his voice makes your heart skip a beat
but you enjoy
you enjoy every second of it
even though hes not yours and you may never be
even though hes far and youll never meet
you still enjoy having him in your life
and loving him every second of your life
you enjoy dreaming of him, thinking of him, looking at him, waiting for him to notice you
Its torture
Its pain
Its love
Its insane
Youll   love with all your heart
Youll get hurt
And youll smile
Youll feel pleasure
And cry
Youll deny at times and confess  at times
It'll be a crazy ride
Its love
Oct 2014 · 418
School of love
Jessica Oct 2014
Your love taught me to be sad
And I was in need for a man
To show me the true meaning of being sad

Your love taught me to write
Though I've never held a pen before
To write poems about your eyes
And what those black pearls have done

Your love taught me to act like a child
To draw your face
And walk at night

Your love taught me the worst habits
And got me addicted to your all
Your love took me to a world
And left me all alone
Oct 2014 · 2.2k
Something's wrong
Jessica Oct 2014
Something's wrong when I fall asleep at 9 and wake up in the afternoon
Something's wrong when I spend my day confused not knowing what to do
Something's wrong when I start doing things I never knew I could do
Something's wrong when your face is the only thing I can draw
Something's wrong when poems are the only way to say what's true
Something's wrong when life's so beautiful yet it seems so blue
Something's wrong when I close my eyes in my prayers and pray for you
Something's wrong when crying is all I do
Something's wrong when everyone looks and asks "what's wrong with you"

Something is wrong and that thing is you
Something's wrong and it's the way I think of you
Something's wrong and it's the time I chose you
Something's wrong cause I know it won't be true
Something's wrong but I'll hold on to you
Something's wrong and it's dreaming of you

Something's wrong and it's loving you.

— The End —