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Jessica Jun 2019
Im out of love
Im out of this fraud
Im done
Ive been hurt so many times
I stopped this smile
And everything is a lie
To protect myself
I set berrier with everyone else
No more trust
No more lust
its just me
I see no us
It hurts but the pain
Never goes
So id rather hurt myself
Thousand time more
Than see me not strong
In love or caring
Sharing all of this has stopped
No more stabbs
No more dissapoints
I know im down alone
But ill break my heart rather my soul
Cause my hearts not cold
But i have a black soul
Thatll cover my reputation infront of yall
And show
How strong
Not a little girl anymore
A disguise
To survive
Behind a lie
So heres the deal that i ought
ill leave my ego with you
And my problems with me
And everything will be
Youll see
The big picture of me
And ill make sure
To hide from you
All the insecures
And Whats down
It Wont come out

Until someday
We might find out.
Jessica Jun 2019
Look at me and tell me what you see
No emotions and darkness you seek
Barriers are build with mirror and shades
But step closer and see this is all fake

A shell of no effection
No emotions
All dark and silent
Holding on to an ego
A reputation
Of manipulation
Lost sensations
You think im strong
You think im cold hearted
Dont care
Shes too chill
Well break that shell of ice
And look beneath that frame of lies  
Because behind all of that ash
Is a baby girl that got stabbed in the back

No she doesnt want to look back
All of the past
Made her what she is now
And you think
She is
The strong ***** thatll deffend
But no shes forced
Shes hurt
Shes lost
So many battles that she stopped fighting
She stopped caring
But she cries
And she hides
Every ******* night
Her insecure
Her loved ones
Her memories
And what hurts her

She cares
she loves
she dreams and shes pink
but life and everyone has put her down
So many times that she hides
Behind a mask of lies
To protect her fragile
Yeah i mean after all of those times
She fell
But She stood
With a crown
And no sound
Cause she tired
And shes alone
Maybe shes waiting
For a prince or savious
To look beneath her and see
That behind this worrier
Is a ******* queen
Not sure what i just wrote but oh well
Jessica May 2015
If only I closed my eyes and walked away
If only you didn't look at me and speak that day
Oh I wish you wouldn't have came
To deprive my eyes from sleeping
And allow the coincidence to play its game
Oh i wish at that trice I wasn't there

As if I've known you're eyes for a thousand years
As if a lifetime passed and I didn't live
Emotions that I couldn't explain blew
Only the feeling of passion knew what I felt

If only I didn't open my eyes to the world that day
If only I didn't fall asleep to the most beautiful tales
I wouldn't have woken up knowing love
I wouldn't have had tears and thoughts
If only your smile didn't hypnotize
And if only your eyes didn't keep me up all night
I  wouldn't have let my illusions dream of you
I wouldn't have wrote that poem about you

If only I closed my eyes and walked away
Jessica May 2015
No one will ever love you the way she did
No one will ever love anyone the way she loved you
And even after ten years from now
If you ask her
Shell tell you:
"im still in love with him
Im still in love with his all
His flaws and his world
im still in love with him and beyond"
Jessica May 2015
I didnt know you were the person i was going to stumble upon
I never knew youll come to start a fire in my heart
Id be lying if i said this fire will ever settle
Even if itll burn my heart to flames
I know those are the ashes of which for i changed
Jessica Apr 2015
Love is craving, dreaming, obsessing, feeling, falling
A battle inside you of bunch of emotions
Smashed into your heart
To create the poetry of love
To make you feel happy that he's here
Nervous to miss him all this time
Furious to hug the hell out of him
Sad to be just a friend
Depressed because you're craving his touch
Mad because she's beside him
Adrenalin you caught him staring
Crying like a maniac at night because nothing happened
Smiling for picturing both of you holding
Losing pronunciation when he says hi
Feeling the world just froze when he stares and smiles
Relating every song to him
Obsessing on his smallest details
His hands, lips, eyes, that beard, and smile....
And you fall asleep thinking of him
Wake up thinking of him
You worship his voice
You think of him all day long
You pray for him
You dream of him

You live for him

You ******* love him
You only love him
You love his all
His flaws and his world

you love him and beyond
Jessica Mar 2015
With all the things you said
And how much you convinced yourself
Positivity and hope
You dreamed all day and night long
Yet you still recognized all those black holes
But you reminded yourself to see what's real too
"I don't want to disappoint myself"
You said to yourself
But deep down inside you you had hope
Deep down inside you you had dreams
You dreamed and loved
Passionate and young
But now you decided to open your eyes
Now you want to live outside the fairy tail you built
And here you are between those four walls
Crying yourself to sleep
But yet you closed your eyes
You closed your eyes and saw his smile
You denied his ignorance
You denied his absence
And you still add colors on the dark page
Open your eyes dear
Open them wide
You've changed your all
You've changed what's around
You changed your destination
Just to follow his path
You carried hope
And convinced yourself
Love is beautiful
Love was meant
But now you're left all alone
Lost and tears
Everything happens for a reason you know
So remember the things you did for his sake
And all the time you looked up and smiled
Remember what's meant to be always always find it's way
I hope those beautiful stories you built don't end near
I hope life won't disappoint you my dear
And every scene you imagined become a memory
I hope you find love
I hope he finds love
I wish, as you woke up to see what's real,
He opens his eyes, to see you,
The same way, you were seeing him, and only him, for the past 6 months
I wish you love
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