The cold snow
My cold body
The beautiful stars glistening above me
Like flashing lights

I knew this would happen
No one will know what happened
Warm blood pools around me
The red and white making a beautiful scene
I always had been waiting for death
Couldn’t wait to take my last breath

The darkness
The peace
No more worries
Or insecurities
No need to hurry through life

It was inviting
It made me hopeful for death
It was calming
I feel my heart slowing
I breathe in the crisp winter air for the last time
And hope for better days in my next life

He ached for a love that would never hold him
He yearned for the soft touch of belonging
But it never reached him
He stayed in the shadows while others bathed in the light of love
The warmth never reaching his untouched skin
His name never called
His presence never wanted
His voice never heard
But still-

He waited
Waited for hands that would never caress his
But his hands remained unheld
Cold and unwanted
Yet he tried to be patient
For the silent grace of falling in love
For the true beauty of it all

Like how the moon reflects off the water
Both elements creating one beautiful scene
Intertwined
Together
As one

But the beauty doesn’t last forever
So alone, he lay
Left behind by the crowd
Even though the emptiness surrounded him
He still ached
For a love that would never come
Love as far away
As the moon and the water-
Forever

A familiar thing that sits on my shoulder as I go through my day
That lies with me as I sleep
Making my dreams become restless nightmares
That keeps me remembering
The thing that keeps me alert
It’s the song stuck in my head
Never letting me forget
All the pain and regret

It’s the ringing I get in my ears every now and then
That’s making me write this poem with my pen
It’s paranoia I get at night
Leaving me awake in a fright
When the darkness turns into my distant memories

Ptsd is the fear I get at loud noises
The hairdryer, the vacuum, yelling
It makes me feel like running
It’s the reason I’m so sensitive
Why I lost the will to be creative

Ptsd is a tree and I am the earth
It keeps its roots intertwined in me-
Rooted into my brain
Never letting me forget the pain
That we are the same
That we are one