A white blanket lay upon the forest
Fall back into the plush
As the snowflakes press against each other
molding to your shape
All you hear is the pattering of the snow flakes onto the hoot of your coat
The world has paused

You look up to see the dusted evergreens
fairies lay a clean pixie dust upon the land
grazing every part of life

But then they come
throwing it at each like weapons
Warlike
With the intention of inflicting pain
Ripping it up with machine
chopped by sleighs and skis

And then they leave
To come back tomorrow
Wishing there was more snow to play with
As it lays there crushed and ripped up with the land exposed
Nothing to fix it
Because there is nothing as pure as ****** snow

Some say "thicker" models are better,
That they promote self-love,
As if thicker women are not expected to love themselves.

But all it really does is set another standard.
A new standard.
Standards are the culprit of deprecation -
Another reason to feel ugly

But every standard is another reason to feel different.
And that makes YOU special.

I lay with my wrist cuddled beneath my ear
The second hand  of my wrist watch jolting itself every second
My little sister's soothing snore rumbling the bunk
My mother's room across the hall dark and cool
But downstairs in the kitchen, the box of twinkles calls for me
A summon I must refuse

An orange glimmer illuminates the dusk sky
Making its descent as I look up
Hoping that true love is looking at the same sky -
admiring the same beauty, feeling the same rush, fancying the same glimmer
But this glimmer, this sherbert sky, this elusive aesthetic will  fall below the horizon
Below where the sun meets the calm sea - into darkness


As you savor those last few seconds of its descent, those last few sparkles
I fall as the big sherbert ball goes below the water, to a place I cannot see
A place where all my hopes disappear to
And darkness arises
I feel a spirit pull me into a realm of darkness
I cannot escape
I cannot enjoy the beauty in the black sky
after I have watched my hopes fall below my sight
A place where I cannot retrieve them, unless I’m lucky to dream about them that night


But when those dreams come true, and you have someone to stand by you at night,
That night sky you tried to escape from
suddenly becomes an alluring dark blue sky with incandescent speckles
That you can gaze at until dawn
On a grassy plain with dandelions and wishflowers as the breeze blows your lips together
Under the beauty of the  light

I stand here, while you notice everyone else but me
Even when I smile at you, you look at her
My tears dry on my face, but you can’t see them
I do my hair, I wear nice clothes
I wish there was a way to disappear
but invisibility is only when I’m here


Or maybe you do see me,
Because you turn your eyes away
I’m the ******* your feed you scroll over- purposely don’t tap twice on
One day, you’ll go back, when I’m really not there
And think to yourself what if I cared?

The awokens’ magnet
I await every morning for your sip
A sip of warmth, flushing throughout my body
You are the reason I jitter when things go wrong
An elusive satisfaction - but I relish what you give
But I can’t get enough - you never fail
Not once has your sweet eminence failed me
You are the new beginning every morning
The end to every hard day
Grind the beans, fresh and new
Add water to freshly brew