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The inadequate bookshelf that sat near the door
that my sister used to call her own was
mostly made up of adolescent reads,
books better suited for preteen girls rather than
intellectually budding young ladies—
juvenile vocabularies and simple, non-complex
plot lines do little to craft and create
worldly, knowledgeable women.

I thought I must spring clean the
naiveté away and replace it with
the works of great authors like
Sylvia Plath
                        Simone de Beauvoir
                                                              Virginia Woolf
                        Margaret Atwood
Betty Friedan;
ingenious femme fatales that cut down
to the brittled bones of the misogynists
and burned their marrow along with the
ashes of bras and aprons and 350 degree oven heat.  

Growing up, to me, seemed like a wonderful epiphany
chock-full of ideas and opinions and
clever, ironic remarks that chased satirical witticisms
like felines to rodents and wolves to deer—
being an adult would guarantee me a say,
a vote
           prior 1920’s America
                                                  play dress up as a suffragette
           women’s rights
femininity personified by dolls in plastic houses.

To be eighteen-years-old,
the goal, the legality, the bright light at the end of the tunnel;
the official womanhood it would bestow upon me
seemed like something almost tangible
with the way that it loomed over my head.

Get good marks
graduate high school
travel back in time sixty years
meet a nice boy
become a “good wife”
have dinner ready by five
bear two beautiful heirs
clean up the messes left in the kitchen
fast-forward to the twenty-first century
go to a good college
find a stable career
settle down if the fancy strikes you
live non-docile and full of passion—
the parallelism of times are severely
di
    lap
          i
            dat
                 ­ ed.

1950’s America would never be a home for me
because I am much too wild to be contained.
wow I got really feministic there. sorry, man.
I remember the December weather,
I wore a smile outside your door,
They locked you out, but you weren't shocked,
I was, but I knew it must have been my chance,
So I acted cute, I was grateful,
But I wanted you, I was faithful,

Hand shake? Hug?
None of that;
A kiss on my cheek,
My legs went fleet,

I nearly fell over on the December ice, outside your home.
You look best during winter, although your summer shoulders make me smile.
I'll walk
Off track of burn
Instead of bursting it
Into a million tears of broken

I'd lay
On a plain lane
Instead of watching it
Through the deepest aperture of pain

I'll live
In life of freedom
Instead of taking it
As only word and wisdom

I'd rather die
On poor land of dignity
Instead of believe and hoping
To be buried in rich soil of stupidity
 Oct 2013 JAK AL TARBS
Brianna
I want to lie in fields of daisies with you staring at shooting stars that pass us by. I want to talk about Jupiter's moons and Saturn's rings like we know what we are talking about. I want to sit on top of sky scrapers counting all the red cars that pass us by. I want to travel to distant lands with foreign languages and be people we aren't just for a little while. I want to make the best romance novels jealous of our love and passion. I want to make the moon jealous of the sun and the rain jealous of the clouds. I want them to build statues of us and tell stories to children to let them know a love like this existed.  I want to kiss your eyes shut and hold your hand while I listen to you sleep next to me. But more than anything else I want to love you & you love me to infinity & beyond.
The Blue Falcon, cross the spire,
Waits in the gables of the white
House.  Wounded in youth by crush
Of air, spent, a wisp perched
In the aerie dark with a view of mountains
Blue as ice under glacier.  The wooden
Church from the other side clutches
The sky but the Falcon blue is lost
In a tuft of cloud that bobs but never
Kills.  On this strike he is sheathed in stealth
The dull talons slip as they dry
In the tented air, the songbirds at play
In the high-ground underneath warble
And chide but the Falcon cannot hear
The Falcon near.  His heart is soft
And muted in the breast, his ears
Are dumb to their tickling-songs.  

Before the Falcons time, over
The tilling fields, dropped his world
In the spoils where splendour burst in green,
Rain meant the feathers ran and the woods,
A banquet of game, were bounty's breach
Fording blue currents he was
A fisher in the sun, but the sun
Sank in his drowning sky no store
From plateau to quarry the drought of days
Moved a castle felled in the dancing
Dust, his wings broke in the shuttered
Eye of the sun and etched his form
Into grey silhouette.  

Now, the Blue Falcon, jeered
In the branches of the rooted air
Above the yellowed grass, under the pines
And a great blue mountain, stirs a Druid
Shape, vaporous, in the cauldron
Of the attic in the white house
A throw of stones crossways from
The sacred yews of the steeple spire.
1
Confusion
Heart Tearing
No Answer

Eyes Glaring
Heart Sinking
Mind Racing

Sheltered, Loved
Routine, Mundane
False Smile
False Tears
Desperate, Aching
Distraction

Always

Sun, Stars
Wholesome
Crisp Breathing

Never to meet
Guilt to have

Not one, but Many
Breath, Beat, Smile

Destiny

Incapable to Succeed

Determined to Breath
I've lived my life without a mom.
No one to give me advice or drive me to prom.
Until this school year no one cared.
I sat alone all sad and scared.
A girl named Ashley came to like me.
Cuz I was sweeter than a cup of tea.
She treats me like a son even though I am trouble.
She protects me as if I'm as fragile as a bubble.
If a rude boy called me a ***.
She would put that ****** in a body bag.
Even though she is feeling heartbroken
I want her to know my heart has spoken.
And my heart let me know.
I will never let my new mother go.
 Oct 2013 JAK AL TARBS
berry
look at your fingers.
extend & wiggle them.
look closer.
fingerprints.
not another person on earth
has the same ones as you.
you are alive.

m.f.
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