I really just want to cry,
Just let it all out.

I don't know why
I feel this filled with doubt.

I'm kind of done
And I no longer see the fun
In prolonging this pain.

There's nothing I could do..
I just can't keep sane.

And

As I look around,
I see smiles,
Hear laughs
which makes me wonder...
How these people can live without breaking a sweat.

It's pretty inspiring they can stay
This strong ...
I used to be strong,
But then I grew weak
And ended up doing the wrong
That shan't be speaked.

Since then I have started to pray
Every single day for his help
To get me through this horrid phase.

But...I guess I don't pray hard enough
Or
Have a big enough faith.

So...
The reality,I assume,is
I'm forever lost in this place.

Suffocated.
That's what I am.
I am suffocated.

So many people
and my hands and legs
won't stop shaking.
I can't breathe
but I can't run.

Is this what it feels like?
To be so scared and afraid?
All you want to do is stay at home
forever and ever and ever...

No friends, no one.
Only me, only me...

I think I like it,
the suffocation and darkness
and this loneliness.
What's gonna happen to me?

I think I'm going crazy,
and that's absolutely fine with me.

*(n.d.)