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As I drifted off to sleep I  had a dream oh so sweet
I was with the man I adore

We where back in Jamaica on the beach by a sandy shore
Happy again just you and me

Our room was a hut next to the mango groves & big
Banana trees so very old

As we walked hand & hand to the beach there was a band
Playing all of Bob Marley's songs

I started singing along don't worry be happy as you
laughed out loud & smiled with that grin

We reached our destination with no hesitation
You jumped right into the waves

I swam just to catch you & caught you I did
There in the azure blue water we frolicked & played

As passion swept us up a shower in the Sun came in
We both looked up as a double bowed rainbow appeared

We kissed and said our vows a covenant of our love
forever lasting to each other always

As I awoke and realized this was just a dream of an old
Memory stored

My eyes filled with tears as my heart felt torn today
But loves dreams are priceless and I'm willing to pay
Dream & "Don't worry be Happy:~ by  Bob Marley
Marooned  land-locked
    on  island  earth

Born with an orphan’s
    unknowable ache

Born with an empath heart
– always feeling too much –
mystic receptors wide awake
    in a highly sensitive soul

It’s as if I've walked along
      forever alone,
    one step at a time,
    lost in a restless nebula
from the earth to the moon

Consciously dreaming
      to steal away, 
bearing the weight of the sky, 
upwards over the mountain,
away from these chains
         that bind

    The maelstroms echo
behind silenced, probing eyes
with an unsated thirst
      to be wanted
    dead or otherwise:

Never understanding
    the reasons why,
spinning around in my head;
where "once upon a time"
        was hidden,
        buried alive              

A lifetime spent trying
    to unlearn the things
    I wish I’d never
    sought to know,
    clinging to the love
I've touched in my life
  evermore enwombed
       in my heart

    Passing milestones:
walking another barefoot mile
passing so many locked doors
    without keyholes
– way outside the lines –

    Choking on all
    the latent words
      lay fallow, 
      left unsaid 
Always looking for
something dreamt
but seldom manifest 

Growing so tired and weary
with no one standing by my side;  
no one to lay down beside me
    to take a rest for awhile

Just another chapter
in a timeless same old story;
  another dark star
      burned – out
      – vanished –
into the utter obscurity
of a sky so close and yet
       so far away...


Jesse Stillwater ... August 22, 2018
Thank you for reading ...
Loosen these chains that bind me
unravel my furrowed brow
soothe this soul with silence
show me fields that I must plough

darkness is the demon
knowing is the light
bless me with contentment
save me from my plight

I'm forever, sitting, waiting
always switching lanes
yet, deep inside my psyche
I've surrended to the chains

A Memoir
Five years of research
Going into Edit
This year it will be published and I am nervous
Poetry has always been my friend and companion
Always will be
First for me
Root for me
Will update you all
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