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I haven't written in a while
Because I was with the suicide hotline
I lost my device
And my love with it too
So I am glad to be back
Writing my feelings
My thoughts
And words
I drink from the cup
I ***** out foul poison
I drink it again.
"As a dog returns to his *****, so a fool repeats his folly" — Proverbs 26:11
There are a dozen songs playing in my head
Melodies mixing together creating a mess of music
I am lying on my bed
Jumbled words like a sea without logic

Tears rolling down my cheek
For I left my heart open
It is strong but also weak
Things knocked it over and the glass is now broken

My ceiling fan stares down on me
Telling me all that needs to be done
I just need a moment in silence just to be
Things barely ever even seem fun

The whole day's energy
Was spent on keeping myself together
And now
I just need to be broken
I don't usually attempt rhyming, but I tried this time.
Want to walk around, like right now?

Well of course!
I know I shouldn't,
But I will still,
If I say no,
It's me my heart will ****.
Every minute, moment, second, breath, that I'm with her is one in heaven.
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|             |
|             |
|             |
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hello, blank page.
you invite me to
fill your ******
surface with
the inky blemishes.

words of woe.

you've never known
pain. loss. heartache.
you've never known
hunger, want, or war.
never been *****
or pillaged.
denuded of all
grace and dignity,

until now.
but, no. I won't
wake you in this way.

blank page.
there you are, still.
I will not use a
forceful pen, now.
but the tender
strokes of love poetry.
you will blush
yourself to the shades
of a peach.
in a passionate, yet gentle,
hand will I take you to

******

perhaps i will, with
an expansive hand,
inform you of nature
or faraway places.

or with the greatest care
illuminate your barrenness
with the most beautiful
calligraphy.

fill your blandness
with great truth
and enlightened ******.

beatific beauty

but for now
I only touch you,
and inform you of
your nakedness.
you've been willfully
ignorant.

you are,
after all,
only

FOOLSCAP


SøułSurvivør aka
writè of passage aka
Invisible inc
(C) 6/23/2017
Pop
Lady Gaga, Mad Madonna—
****** tunes and noise, a ton of.
Shrill and lifeless, same old story,
“Satan’s trend” is topping glory...
Who hasn't fallen?
Who hasn't been broken?

Every such episode
is but a valuable lesson
nothing intrinsic of us
has been stolen-

we'll each on our own
rise in new strength and inspiration
to greater heights before unknown
with all our past failings totally forgotten
How many styles does this imitate or are imitating this?
A lot, it's shocking how many poems can go by the same tittle,
How many people can use the same gimmick,
Like how when someone finds something that works,
People tend follow like ants,
Whether we know it or not, I followed you you followed me now we're following in circles better make something new oops.
I guess to each their own originative similar but not quite kinda poem.
I'm not the first to do something like this, I'm not the best nor do I do it the best.
But I did it in a way nobody did it before so does that still count?
I used to bring her
red roses,
until
the day I brought her
white lilies.
I never thought I could get in trouble for staying quiet.

It was a form of self-protection, I suppose.
A coping mechanism, you can say.
Every time something that brought pain or confusion or any complicated feelings,

I just
left
my body.
I'd be there
but
not really.

You can always get in trouble for spilling too much, I thought.
So if you don't say anything at all, don't let anyone in, don't let anything out -
You'd be safe.
I was supposed to be safe.

But when I was threatened with the psych ward for staying silent
I realized
that wasn't true.

I'm not safe
I'm not safe
I'm not safe

I'm not
safe
here
real
okay.
This is supposed to fix me,
supposed to make me okay,
why am I not okay?

I am
dying
dying
dying,
drowning,
asphyxiating,
drowning,
drowning in

Lies.
Lie.
That's the only thing I can do now.
Now it's all just lies,
I'm a lie
I'm a lie
I'm a lie -

Hah.
Don't you wish you never asked?
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