drip
drip
the iv tube drips life into his veins
it's the only thing keeping him alive
'alive'
he's alseep
but he'll wake up, right?
i'm sure he'll be ok

drip
drip
the blood drips down the short blade
trying to take his own life
'life'
he'll get over it
he'll be ok, right?
i'm sure he'll be ok

drip
drip
the teachers vicious smile
kills him from the inside
he hates himself
and the teacher too
die
drip
drip

While I'm here
Lying in bed
Shivering from the cold of night
And writing with all my might
I hear the noises from outside

Motorcycles roaring
Large groups if people laughing
Random fireworks launching
And planes soaring

They're doing things
Being alive and awake
While I try to sleep
And to calm down
They run around

I wish I would be out there
Running too
But I have to lie here
Cold and anxious
And just hear you

Each brush stroke
A part of my soul
Blending
Mixing
Bleeding into eachother

Colors combining
Overlapping
Kind of like my thoughts

They make something interesting
Maybe messy
But calming
At least to me

Cry
Cry
Cry
"You have had enough time!"
I tell my tears
Though they keep
f
  a
      l
        l
           I
          n
        g


Scream
Scram
Scream
"Just as long as no one hears you"
I whisper to my voice
Though in my mind
All I can hear is
AHH
AHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Smile
Smile
Smile
"Keep it up, but only at the right times"
I tell my mouth
Though sometimes I catch myself

             o        w     n     i
     r                                     n
F                                              g

Hello
This is me

I am seventeen
But sometimes I age regress
And can be
Much younger than perceived

I am short
And small
But I don't mind
As it makes it easy to hide
And confine myself
Within small spaces
Or up in your arms

I go for walks
Late at night
When most people are peacefully
Wiithin a dream
As I drown within
The music I hear

I collect stuffies
And all the broken bits
Of my heart
And soul
So I don't become empty

People use
Abuse
And re-use me
But I still only want
To see them happy

I collect memories
Within a box
And my gallery
Afraid one day
I'll forget about my days
So I collect and keep them safe

I was never truly a kid
For I was only ever trapped
In thoughts of escape
But I've found that
No matter the place
Things are still always the same

I trust animals
One hundred precent
But people are always lacking
A small precentage
Even though I give them
Every piece of me

I am innocent and sad
Collecting onsies
And stuffies
And cuddling whoever will

But also impure and numb
Collecting trauma
And broken dreams
And feeling the touch of wandering hands
In places they shouldn't be

I breathe anxiety
I cry panic
And I carry bombs just waiting to burst all of it out

Lying on the bed
My friend sound asleep on the other side
And her cat that runs away from family comes
And lays next to me
Rubbing against me
Asking me to pet her

It makes me feel okay
It makes me feel home

Everything
Is at least
A little bit better

I'm telling you
Cats always know

i was five years-
mabye 8-
i dont know
but i lost him
and i
        lost
              myself
                         too
ah mon grandpere
tu es tres important
je
          deteste
                              toi

why did you leave
i needed you
dad needed you
but most of all
you needed you