after suffering a long time in silence. It's the moment of: "Wait... all of this pain was based on a lie I believed about myself?",and i laughed.

I wore the mountain
like a second spine—
so long,
I thought it was mine.

Then love arrived
like rain in a dry room-
soft,
uninvited,
real.

It didn’t heal.
It peeled
revealing I'd been  walking
with wounds
still whispering
beneath my skin.

And when it left,
I cracked.
Not broken—
but opened.

Now the ache speaks
and I listen.
And somehow,
that is enough.

i cannot love with you
You would be life
Life from You is yours
you, behind You
your world in You
I can't live with you
I can live and love
with you of You.

Joints… aching like rusted hinges
Hair… slipping away like autumn leaves
Memory…flaking off like the old paint that covered my walls
Fatigue… like a tide that never recedes

I feel as if
I've carried centuries in a single skin
Lived lives I can’t remember
But still feel in my marrow

And yet
I’m nowhere near the halfway mark

The same clock hands, circling
Almost in slow motion
Same dull rhythmic beating
Routine wears like sandpaper
Smoothing the edges
As the years blur and blow away

History Repeats
man's not so lavish deeds
with select memory
on the company it keeps

falling into line
with those out of their minds
wrong is never right
yet sown so many times

History Repeats
the side it prefers to lean
all we tend to be
is part of the machine

standing in this line
we all fit the crime
you can see it in our eyes
not a one puts up a fight

History Repeats
like there even is a need
to grow a load of grief
in the planting of that seed

falling a bit further in
the ditch we have been digging
past advice withstanding
never taking what was giving

life can be
a tragedy
then again
filled with glee
all depends
on the steps you take
all of it being
one step away

The best advice that I have
Is that it's best you don't look back
Keep sharp both your heart and mind
On the path that's straight ahead

Do not waste your precious time
Wobbling from side to side
If you always do what's right
Things will go good in your life

These lips are here for you to read
Won't you please pay me heed
A promise here for you to keep
You from wandering in too deep

Keeping both your heart and mind
On the sign of the times
Telling you what lays ahead
If you do your best and don't look back

i found out
some time ago
if you want to move fast
you must first do slow
after awhile
pick it up a bit
just make sure
you never quit
even when
times get hard
and you know they will
it's in the cards
take to heart
this timely notion
never quit
your forward motion
no matter if
it's fast or slow
hang on tight
and don't let go
there is no secret
to this life we live
don't concede
and never quit

i took an empty envelope
and mailed it off to you
it told you of my feelings
more than a letter could ever do

please don't get me wrong
i'm really not that cold
i did try to write that letter
but this empty envelope here alone
in a way says so much more…