The metallic taste returns again.
It's here for hours this time.
Nothing can dull the flavor,
Or even weaken it.
It rolls over the tongue,
Thick and pungent.
The smell alone chokes,
Making breathing difficult.
The texture is that of unfiltered syrup,
Overwhelming as it coats all it touches.
The relief, however, is undeniable.
The tension leaves every limb.
The haunted look leaves the eyes.
Color returns to the skin,
Strength returns to the muscles.
I am human again....

I have not gone so long without talking to you in two years.
But this was it,
The straw that broke the camel's back.
Our friendship is shattered,
Gone like the one of a kind vause,
Made by the recently deceased artist.
No remakes or copies to replace what was lost.
Who you are becoming has pushed me away.
The decisions, the choices make me wince,
Make me shed tears of loss and betrayal and frustration.
I cannot comprehend who you are.
I do not recognize the person in front of me.
Your eyes are shallow.
They are colder than ever, darker than before.
You are not the person I cared for, the person who cared for me.
We are strangers who know the secrets of each other.
I pass you and try not to think of Dr. Pepper and cherry *****.
To forget chicken pizza and the jokes we made.
Life is moving and tilting and shifting,
Slowly pushing us further apart.
We could stop it,
If we truly wanted to.
But we are resigned to what fate has deemed necessary.
I cannot accept that you are so callous.
I cannot understand how you became so unfeeling and heartless.
So I do not text.
I do not call.
Instead, I sit in the silence between us,
And it widens this chasm into a canyon.

Is it possible to cry for a ghost?
Not an actual spirit left behind,
But for the shell that walks pass day after day.
They look the same but those who knew then before can tell.
They are no longer there.
They have died within themselves.
The person once known is gone.
Is it normal to mourn the loss that happened but didn't?
Is goodbye still goodbye if they're still here?
Tell me.... Because I can't tell...

The one bedroom apartment;
where your drinking habits only scare your cat.

People who fight
their battles alone
either lose the battle
or lose themselves.

There were nights inside these walls I sleep in tears
Questioning why am I living, for what do I exist?
They say all I am is not what should it be
Who I am is wrong and I cannot be freed

I lay myself crying again behind these walls
They keep pushing me on trying, they wanted me to be like all
Helplessly I pretended that I am standing on their side
But I cannot be happy, I am turning black and white

I struggled to be like them and I was caught in the middle
I have been pushed, bullied and I found my self little
I am not like who they are and I know I will never be
Why they cannot it understand? Why they cannot see?

I started to live my life alone, away from creatures called people
They always make everything complicated when at the first place it's just simple
I hide myself away in obscure place where no one will find
Where I will be safe and no expectations that I will mind

I grew numb about hatred, being an outcast, and about pain
I'm living my life in silence and being nonchalant - I am trained
I walk alone by myself and I didn't even care
Better be off alone than with someone who won't even stay

They tortured me, they punished me not in my flesh but deep inside
Not using a knife nor a needle work but it can diminish a life
My soul is really hurt and they're leaving me half-heartedly
Their fatal words were lingering,I am bleeding unendingly

Why they are all treating me like I was never ever been belonged?
Is it 'cause I'm living differently and I am never like them at all?
How come I became any less when I am capable of doing more?
They're judging me based on their ignorance, they're judging me on what they do not know

I suffered, I have been bruised and yes, I cried
And yet these walls remain silent standing right at my side
It became my witness of all my heartbreaks, of how my tears burned me
It listened on my inner madness, it saved every pieces of me

Like these walls I'll be standing tough and high
I'll be strong, you won't hear any from me, you'll never see me die
I'll stay colored, graceful and I will make you realize
I am the most beautiful, my days will be immortalized

I may be destroyed, manipulated, grew up confused
I am who I am, to stay the same I will choose
I can show you I can be the greatest, and everyone will be amused
You can insist that I should be someone else, but I'll fight, I'll refuse.