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Matilda Alice Oct 2017
You never know
The deafening crush
Of silence until it's right in front of you
Unblinking and unmoving
Gathering your soul and
Scattering it like dust on the
Dirt covered ground
Laughing at your misery
Jeering with hollow lips
Pitted eyes seeming to
Peer into your deepest crevice
The silence is crushing
Eardrums are shattering
Erie chills creep up your
Spine at a deathly pace
The noxious air slipping
Into your lungs at
Suffocating speeds
Marching over your heart
Like soldiers in the regime
Until it becomes a part of you
Never being able to differentiate
Between what is you and
What is it
Corporeal and incorporeal
Bodies twine as one the two combine
In a sickly manner
The relationship that of parasitism
Taking years to remove the parasite called
Silence
Medication helping the bonds to break
Shatter and loosen
The death grip it can have
Don't underestimate the power and effect
Silence will have
Matilda Alice Oct 2017
Intense
Strong
Loud
It’s vaguely angry
It’s screaming in my head
It’s clenching my jaw
It’s swelling my heart
Loud
Strong
Intense
It’s definitely angry
Or maybe it’s passionate
But it’s there
It’s DEMANDING to be felt
If I could use a song to describe it
One For The Money
By Escape The Fate
It claws at my heart in rapid succession
Urgent
Alarming
Fast
It makes me want to scream
Scream at everyone
Everything
You don’t give a ****
And it will all fail
I won’t be quite
I won’t stand still
My legacy will be a red streak
In the black and white life you live
I DEMAND to be heard
I DEMAND to be free
I DEMAND to be myself
If a color were to associate with it
It would be red
Red as the burning embers
Red as the rising sun
Red as the blood in my veins
Red red red
I still can’t find a single word for it
Passionate
Strong
Red
Fast
Alarming
Loud
Intense
Urgent
Angry
­I can’t pick one because they’re all there
Each in equal succession
Matilda Alice Nov 2016
The eunoian feeling was disrupted by the sardonic entity. Crushing and terrorizing the meraki from my soul. Taking away my will. My will to live.  My will to survive.  My will to do as I please. Because that's what toxic people do. They **** you soul out of your body through their words. Their oh so characterizing language. The dictions of *****. I'm a daydreamer and a night thinker. My soul was bound to be beautiful and spill these numinous words upon the wilted paper in the black and white text.  So you can **** my will but I will always exist in the language of my ancestors, just as they exist within me. Jokes on you depression no one decides my fate but me. So let's keep this rhythm, you'll be the king and I'll be the queen in my little psychosis induced fantasy, pretending that all is well even when society shoves "normal" down my throat. I'll be my own light.
Matilda Alice Nov 2016
Anxiety straps his body binding his muscles and locking his joints. Stress is visible on his torn bleeding fingers. Fear crippling his mind showing him the images of the world, ones that look like they're straight out of a Tim Burton movie. Dark demented but true. Oh so true. So true that everyone else has gone blind saying that everything is fine. But it's not. He's not fine. Oh no he may put on a smile and hide the pain in his eyes but it's there. You just have to look deep enough. Reality is so distressed we make up fantasies and call them reality. We ban all the things that will allow you to see the real world. We brain wash the children to believing that they deserve everything on a silver plater. "Reality" is not even real, just a fragment of our fevered imaginations. So when anxiety immobilizes your body, seizing your muscles and tightening them till they're strung taught. When it locks your joints not allowing you to move. When stress makes you mutilate your body by ripping the fleshy linings on your fingers pouring blood. When fear fills your mind giving you chills those little goose bumps and that shiver that runs down you spine when you know something is just not right. No not right at all because you can't handle the images of Reality and when you try to process them and tell others what you see they put you in a mental hospital. "For your own good" they said. They call you ******, crazy, mentally unstable. So you zip your mouth shut and let them think your ok. You let them believe that their child is not broken that they can still "save" you. You let them listen to these falsifications so you can go home and be "normal". So much so you start believing the lies again and forget the harsh Reality.
Matilda Alice Sep 2016
Freedom is a powerful thing
Once it fills the Human Soul
Freedom is what we want
Freedom comes at a price
Freedom is never - "Free"
Freedom is a concept
The Human Race made
It up because we want it-
Freedom is a powerful word-
And we will never have it.

— The End —