Your marble eyes
Well up with my tears
Why must you
Be so empathetic.
I pulled you in a mess
That you asked to be in.
I complied thinking
You could handle me.
But your kindling fire
Is burning out next to me.
My ice is melting
Drowning out my pain
While prolonging yours.

If lies are burdens
I should be squashed
And flattened by now.

I don’t want
People to gravitate
Towards me
Like moths to a fire
Like light to a black hole.

I want people to come to me
Because I am happy
And they are too.

I guess I’m blind sometimes
Thought I had 20-20 vision
But I guess I was mistaken.
So much I can’t see
But at least
I don’t have tunnel vision.

I’d rather see everything
A tiny bit blurry
Than only see the things
Right in front of me.

Over and over again
I write the same things
I rant
I weep
I dance
I cheer.

Different words used
But the theme is the same
Pain
And meaningless things.

You are something I cannot control
So is that
And that
And that
And literally anything else.

How am I supposed to control those when I can’t even control my own life?

I am weak
I am strong
I am right
But I feel wrong.

Tell me to change
myself for you
But I feel wrong
And so do you?

Are you even aware
That you can’t “fix” me
When I don’t need to be fixed.
Sorry I’m such a problem.

Life isn’t rainbows and sunshine
But it isn’t all storms and rain either
Everything will turn out fine
But you can’t let life put out your Fire.

Hard work isn’t something to be scared of
I recommend you don’t do like me
Would you rather be tired and successful
Or still tired and a quitter?

These are the lessons I REALLY need to learn.
Anybody got tips on how to change your life?
Change your mind?
Change your heart?

Run away
Run away
It’s best that you don’t stay
You have no idea
What chaos I am.

Run away
Run away
Remain and you will pay
The price of loving a living sin
And being in the places I have been.

Run away
Run away
Stay with me; you better pray
That you will make it unscathed
Out of this friendship you have made.

Oh please stay
Oh please stay
I will let you have your way
Even though I’m walking fire
And you have gotten yourself stuck in my mire.

I am not a hopeless romantic
But I also kind of am
I have never fallen in love
But I want to
I can imagine it.
But yet,
I still can’t fall in love.
Just for once
I want someone to look at me
Like I am their whole world.
I want to be able
To look at someone like that.
I just want my heart
To be broken just once
Because it means it once loved.
I haven’t had a “crush” for three years.
I miss the thrill of it.

I’m swimming with sharks
Leaving me in the dark
They try and limit
My limitless art
Don’t even start
Because these blood-red words
Come from swimming with sharks.

My mayfly
Please don’t fly away
Stay
Please don’t leave me today.

My mayfly
Please do try
To keep in one place
Sorry I’m intense
Because, dang it, I’m a mess

Why can’t I cry?

I’m a waterfall,
A stream of words,
Unreliably flooding
Just to dry up at the first sign of drought.

I cry for no reason,
You see me as weak.
But you haven’t seen me smile yet,
I think you would change your mind.

I think my salty tears
I think they really scare you.
Because you run away at the sight
Of emotion bubbling up.

You look at me like I’m insane
I probably am.
But at least I’m not a coward,
Unlike someone here.

Good things must end too quickly
And bad things must prolong themselves.

It’s hard to see the light when you are blind.

Who do you think you are
To just waltz straight into my heart?!

Who do you think I am
An innocent little lamb?!

How dare you look at me!
When there is so little to see.

I forgot how to love.
Now I am mistaking things
For what they aren’t.

Why must you stifle me
Why must you stifle my fire.
I never asked you to cool me down
I don’t need to “chill”.

What I really need is to BURN

The sunset shines so stunningly
These pretty pinks so ennobling
A colorful chromatic symphony
Ending so freaking quickly
Fading into night.

they never **** the main character.

but i am not the main character.

i am replaceable like batteries,
only useful for some time,
never really necessary, just nice
to have around.

but i know that i did this to myself.

people never care about a character
without flaws.
and i made sure not to burden everyone else
with my pain and my worries and failures.
i made sure to not need them
and now they do not need me.

i managed to avoid vulnerability
and i managed to avoid closeness
and i managed to avoid potential damage
only to waste away.

A beat
A rhythm
A melody
Melds into the harmony.
Bass vibrates
Into my soul.
Music.

It’s such a shame
That crap rappers
And social media
Had to ruin it.

I stitch and I craft
I glue and I press
I stretch and I stress

But I’m still unfinished
A messed up masterpiece.

“Don’t be a victim”
“Be positive.”
Well I’m sorry
That I’m honest.
“Such a Debbie-downer.”
Well, if you should know,
I’m not negative
I just see things more clearly
Than you.

Is anyone right?
Is anyone wrong?
Is this all just perspective?

Is it the same thing
In a different light?
Is it a different thing
In a different sight?

If I see something
Will you see it the same?
Our eyes are different
Past the color
They see differently.

If you are a pristine crystal surface
I am rough wood covered in shattered glass
Which doesn’t have a purpose,
Hurts people, and looks like trash.

I tried to give up
And it seemed like I was being stubborn
I can’t even give up right!

I’m a paper girl
Rip me up and paste me together.
Dress me up in pretty crayon dresses
Add new pieces of me,
Take me apart.

I looked up what contradiction means
It means a combination of statements, ideas, or features of a situation that are opposed to one another.
We are contradiction, my friend.
You oppose me,
Yet we are still combined.

The spirit of freedom
Is in all of our souls
Even when
We feel trapped.

The spirit of freedom
Like a heart beating
On the iron bars of your ribs,
Fights to keep its liberty.
Fights to keep it humility
Fights to keep its humanity
Fights to be free.

This world is plastic
Not fantastic

This world breaks
From all the gosh dang fakes.

Who is wiser?
The one who sees the strengths
Or scans for weaknesses?

Have you ever
Felt like crying
And then involuntarily
Make a joke about your life
To make others feel better?

What a weakness it is
To be
Undefeated.

Those who have never failed
Never consider it an option.

What are you afraid of?
Why do you flinch at the sight of me?
What if I told you I love you?
Would you be afraid?
No, you would say it back.
Right?
But you wouldn’t.
You don’t.
But you wish you did.
I wish you did.

We’re all in a snowstorm
We can’t see each other
Lost in the white.
Adrift and afraid,
Unsure what to do.
We live in a blizzard,
Paralyzed by fright sometimes.
We can’t see those with us
When the storm rages strong.
As the wind rises,
Our fear rises too.
But call my name,
And I’ll call back.
Hear me
Hear them
Be afraid
No longer.

I can’t find the butter for my bread
I refuse to have anything else instead.
I can’t find the missing puzzle piece
That will complete my masterpiece.

I still wait.

How am I supposed to
Focus on algebra
When I feel like
I’m exploding inside.

You’re the kind of person
That would tell me
To stop exploding.

I’m the gun
And you’ve already pulled the trigger.

Nightfall falls
As curtains close
To end a show.
And then,
The curtains open up again
To start a new one.

Push me down thinking
That I won’t push you back worse
You are so stupid

I am not poetic,
I am not pretty.
You want to hide my chaos,
I refuse to be neat and sit still.

I know you want my fake,
But I care about my real,
I don’t want to hate,
I just want to feel.

You want me to be charming,
Instead I’m rather alarming,
If I’m such a disappointment,
Change your expectations.

You are undefined
Like 0 divided by 0
Or a non-linear function.

If you could save me that’d be great
But it doesn’t seem that that’s my fate
Cuz my sadness won’t abate
And my longing will not sate.

I walk through the foggy mist
I feel the souls around me
The lost ones I am amidst
I’m not talking about dead people
Instead the ones who are ignored
I’m talking about the people
Whose hearts are battered and sore.

If I am fire
You are dirt
Suffocating and snuffing
Me out

A look can do so much
When words fail to portray
Hidden thoughts and feelings
You feel from day-to-day.

That smile that you gave
To the man with a painted frown,
He smiled back,
Because you turned his day around.

That look of empathy,
You gave that girl who felt alone,
It made her feel not so alone
After years of isolation.

That glare you gave that person,
Because they were very different from you,
You made them feel hated,
Like they didn’t deserve love.

Use looks wisely.

I need to write an essay
But this is so much better
My words are very messy
Much more fit for poems
Not for assignments this semester!