Why are people so
Cruel
Mean
Horrible?

Why do people
Drink themselves
Into oblivion?

Why do people
Let their worst sides show
When their family needs them most?

Why are people any worse
Than animals behave?

Why can’t I answer these questions?

Expectation hurts
Happily ever after
May or may not come.

As the sky darkens,
I darken with it.

As the sky swells,
I swell with it.

As the sun rises,
I rise with it.

Others have nicotine
methamphetamine
Heroine.

I have poetry
You and me
Addictive words and you.

You asked what I thought
I told you
You told me that I was wrong
How can an opinion be wrong?

If you didn’t want my thoughts don’t ask for them

Even at night
The dark isn’t black
It’s speckled by stars
And the moon and our laughs.

Even at death
The pain doesn’t last forever
It subsides as a scar
Forever partially healed.

Even when you’re gone
I’ll wait for you
I’ll wait until you’re here
Leave you?
Never.

Give away
Give away
What I found
For myself
Today.

But hey, that’s okay
Brightened up somebody’s day
Which darkened mine
Candlelight burns low.

Nevertheless I give
And when I have nothing to give
I give myself away
Disintegrated
That’s what I am
I am
No longer.

I’m a tornado in a bottle,
And you see that clear.
Yet you still shake me,
Inducing my terrible fear
That I might break out of my bottle,
Shattered glass at your feet,
Distrust in your eyes.

I feel like a vessel,
Holding salty water inside.
But my metal is weak
It’s basically tinfoil,
And my water rushes out.

Only so much to save
Before it all goes away
But even then it’s so hard
To save all those we love.
So why do we think
That we can do all those
Superhuman things
When we all feel so helpless
Who’s gonna save us?

A burst of color
A tinge of gold
A rescue from the cold, dark, grey.
A fleeting rainbow
A whisper of light
All of these colors
Take over the white
All of these colors
Take over the white.
Do not be afraid
To be colorful.

I’m a storm
I’m an ocean
Get too close
You might get ****** in
Try and sail
A ship on these seas
Tossed and turned
You’ll get bruised
You might bleed
You can’t say
I didn’t warn you
I told you over and over
“This heart doesn’t fit two”

You are a star
You shine so brightly
You have a future
You are going to be okay
You’re my best friend
I will always be there for you
Don’t worry
Everything’s gonna be okay

I need to start saying this to myself

If I am unimportant to you
I wish you could be unimportant too
For I certainly rue
The day I met you
How could I be such a fool?

You know what? I realized I have no idea how to do a Petrarchan Sonnet

I feel smeared
Like a cloud
Or gel pen ink.

S      M            E         A        R         E          D

The future looks
So much brighter,
Is it really
As it seems?
Does your burden
Really get lighter
Or as you get older
Do you break at the seams?
All I want
Is to be free.
But will age
Be ties and tethers
For me?

We only ever
Miss the sunshine
When it snows or rains.

We only ever
Miss a lover
When they get up and leave.

We only ever
Miss our family
When they’re long gone.

We only ever
Know they’re there
When they disappear by dawn.

I used to see the rainbow
Now all I can see is rain.
The world seemed beautiful
Because I never saw the pain.
And all I’ve ever asked for
Is for it all to go away
Now all I ever ask for
Is for somebody to please stay.

The cups and plates aren’t ugly
Just because they’re cracked and broke.
And I don’t think it’s funny
When people lose their hope.
And all I’ve ever asked for
Is for my spark to be undimmed.
Now all I ever ask for
Is for it to light the path for them.

I hate to be the person
Who just sits there all alone.
But what am I supposed to do when
I’m all on my lone.
I hate to have to sit here when
Somebody needs my help.
But when I’m hurt or injured
Who is gonna hear my yelp?

Give
Give
Give away
Give until
You cannot pay
For all you’ve lost
Is just too much
You’ve given all
You got
Don’t give your crux.

Surrounded by people
Yet still alone
The lone wolf traveler
Isolation-prone.

Socialism isn’t her thing
But she pretends it is
Masked she is
But she is not a hero.

Nevertheless
She wants to be heard
But she whispers
Hoping that he will hear.

Ill-mannered maiden
Lost in her world
Lost herself to Satan
No longer pure.

But that’s ok
You aren’t either
Unless you’re a baby
In that case,
That’s a smart baby!

Dear God,
If you love us
And want us to be happy
Why do you make us
Feel so much pain
When we are in love?

Why am I always afraid?

I want to know what you want me to do
So I can do the opposite.

It’s not always a competition
We’re all trying to survive
In the humidity of the jungle
We’re all just trying to thrive.

It’s not a competition
We’re just trying to get through,
Help each other out
When that’s all that we can do.

Who cares if you win or lose?
Pretty sure it’s only you
Because it’s NOT A COMPETITION
Don’t make it about what trophy is whose.

Like a bluebird from a cage
Hope will deliver us
From bad days.

When she tells you
That the universe is fair.
And that all people
Do really care.
If she believes
That things are fine
And that the world
Is nice and honest
And that people never lie.

Do you tell her
That she’s wrong?
How can you lie straight to her face
And say she’s right where she belongs?
Or do you tell her
That she’s right
And things will change and get better
As long as we fight?
What do you tell her?

Who’s gonna tell her?

You’re polished
Squeaky clean marble.
You look at me and see
A young stone too rough.
I am not experienced.
You pretend you are
But you’re actually a rock
That just got thrown in a river.

Crystal clear
Yet clear as mud
That’s how things go
In this neighborhood.

Do I understand?
No you tell me
The back of my hand
Is confusing to me.

Happily ever after
Is only found in books
Maybe that’s why I read
To get away from what was took.

I am not a liquid
Where what was stolen
Is a hole
Don’t want to live insipid
Wish I was brighter
But I am coal.

Anybody else
Would be okay
But here I am
Broken and frayed.

I just learned something today
Pain doesn’t go away as you age
The years go by and the sadness doesn’t leave
There’s still a missing part of you that you want to retrieve.

There are still scars healing all over your heart
That doesn’t change as you grow older.
There are still memories you want to erase
Ones you want to disappear without a trace.

But you learn how to cope
You sometimes seem to grow wiser
As you become weathered and worn
Your burden grows a wee little bit lighter.

Optimism
Or willful ignorance?

I remember you
You’re not you
Anymore.

No
You’re you
Just another version
Less innocent.

Me too.

How the heck
Am I supposed to say everything
That’s in my head
When there are only 171,476
Words in the English dictionary
That are still used?
How am I supposed to say
What I need to
If there are not enough words
To express it?

Sometimes I feel
Like artists got it easy.

Extroverted introvert: ignorant to social graces.

I’m trying so hard
But nothing is working
I’m doing my best
So why am I hurting
I thought I was better
Things starting to look up
But things aren’t going
The way that I want it
I know that it never
Was really a promise
But I thought I was lucky
Why don’t I feel like it
Sometimes I am drowning
In all of my stress
And sometimes I just wish
That it would all end
You keep saying I’m okay
“Don’t you give up.”
But I tried that already
So please just shut up
And I sound so annoying
And whiny and loud
I’m sorry that I can’t
Just go with the crowd
I’m not trying to stand out
Just trying to forget
About all the times I messed up
But I haven’t done it yet
And I’m sorry
I’m so sorry
That you gotta deal
With all of my spewing
But I gotta heal
And sometimes the screaming
And the “letting it all out”
Works for me well
But I’m sorry I don’t make sense
But that’s not what this is about
Too bad this is so long
Just me rambling on
And I think that I’ll go now
Don’t got more to say
So goodbye for tonight
Goodbye for today.

They say
IGNORANCE IS BLISS
And it’s true
But wouldn’t you
Want to know the world
Around you?

Perhaps
It’s because
CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT.
And bliss
Is so much better
Than being curious.

The last part
Was a lie
Because while
IGNORANCE IS BLISS
And CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT
Satisfaction of his discovery
Brought the
Inquisitive cat back.

People all around me
Nobody
Looking me in the eye
When I try
To talk I stutter
No one I know
Is here
I don’t know
Anyone anyway
Always alone
Even when I’m in
A room full of people
I could be surrounded
But I’d still be stifled
By loneliness

So excited to grow up
Maybe freedom would heal us
But when our childhood got taken away
We held on
Like it was a teddy bear
The complicated years
Of 13 and forward
Got us wishing to go back
And longing to grow up.

Help me
Cuz I need you

HP decided it wouldn’t work
Which is like being thirsty
But having nothing
But mud and murk.

I need these words to survive
I need to know I am heard.
Like any organism
Needs water.

So when HP decided it would start again
I overindulged a little
And made like, 10 poems in a span of ten minutes.

Just like a dehydrated person might do
After they find water
Drinking until they feel like they’re about to explode.

I really hope I don’t throw up.

What younger me would say to me:
“I wanna see the sea!”
“Do you have a dog?”
“You should get a dog.”
I have four, by the way.
“Have you ever ridden a horse?”
I have. Still obsessed, of course.
“Is middle school like, super hard?”
No, but work hard, and you’ll earn a reward!
“Do you mean I’ll get candy or something?”
No, but you’ll get lots of satisfaction.
“What’s satisfaction.”
Oh you’ll see when you’re older.
“Teenagers ****.”
I won’t deny it!

You lied.

The shine within the sun
The clouds drift over
Stuck beneath shadow
Suddenly cold.

The dark side of the moon
The black hole vacuuming the vacuum
Of space drifting around
Suddenly gone.

The forbidden path
So lost within the thorns
Help me ‘cause it hurts
Roses die where my feet touch.

We ran
From something
Unseen. We were
Two, a man and a woman  

River flowed red
He is steel. And her tears
Bullets. We are
Bayonets and gun barrels  

The earth flourished
With steel, straight statues
Of trees and undergrowth
A perennial memorial  

Buried, we were
Under the earth
Meant to last forever
Meant to simply be  

Red silence
Enveloped the world
My brothers...
Glided between the trees  

Creatures joined
Those of all kinds, prowl
Across the land
Around their brothers  

The earth split
We are the valleys. Gashes
Along the veins of the earth
Runs red like streams and fountains  

Wounds dried and flaking
Freely beasts roamed
Lands demarcated
Trampled, trodden  

We are echoes
Within the canyons. We stalk
Like spirits, like steel
Behind fervor, behind craze  

They lost
Time was forgotten
Time was reclaimed
Remade  

We do not know time
We do not sow
We do not reap
We do not see
We do not hear  

The world is never silent
But the underground is  

How would you feel
If you knew that
The world was hollow
Held up by rifles...

If lies are burdens
I should be squashed
And flattened by now.

I hate your easy smile
And your piercing, deep, eyes.
I hate the way you look at me
Like I am your whole world.

I hate your steadfastness
And your dependability
I hate your easy humor
And your unwavering loyalty.

I hate how you won’t leave me
How you always stand by my side.
I hate you because I love you,
And I can’t run away this time.

If I had a little sister
I’d be the best I could be
I’d try and be a good example.
And I’d hold her
When she cries
And I’d help her
When she’s stressed
And frustrated by life.
And when a boy comes and breaks her heart
I’d be the first to tell her
He wasn’t worth it at all.
And when her friends start to leave
And drift away piece by piece
I’d look her in the eye and tell her she still has me.

If I had a little sister
She’d know I cared
Even when I teased her
She’d know I’d always be there