I listen to your every word
then i,

repeat.
repeat.
repeat.
repeat.
repeat.

i analayze.

each paragraph,
each sentence,
each word,
each letter,
each syllable.

until i know the depths of its meaning.

when i sit there and stare off into the nothingness,
realization is the meaning of my silence.
my blank expression
shows your words are sinking in.

I have you figured out
every single ******* one of you.

I know what all your intentions are,
I see the hatred in your eyes
i hear the discust in your voice.

You think im stupid,
but i know.

i hear your wispers

i see you watching

i feel you following

and i cant escape.

Does it ever end
Don't you ever get tired
Of the Billshit that is

The flies that circle
the stench that reeks

It suits you I guess
This lifestyle of yours

You must be happy this way
A life in that filth

One day you'll see
All the things you lost

Maybe then you'll see
You chose the ******* over me

I don't know what hurt me,
So badly that I cannot open up.
I don't know the exact moment,
When I felt life was just too much.

I couldn't tell you whatever happened,
That made me feel dead inside.
But I can tell you a needle and pills,
Makes my mask slip away and hide.

I don't know when it became so important,
For me to lose my sobriety,
And God, I couldn't begin,
To explain why I hid from society.

I'm so done with living in this world,
But the drugs just won't let me die.
I need some serious help,
But I don't know how to ask for it tonight.

I know the ****** or morphine or whatever the ****,
I put into my veins each day,
Keeps me feeling normal,
And keeps me slightly sane.

I know I'll never hear the voice of my father,
Or be able to show my mother the love she deserves.
I know my younger brother,
Will one day wonder what killed me so many years before.

I'd like to say I'm sorry,
To the girl I love with all my soul.
I'm oh so sorry baby,
But I shall never, ever become whole.

You'd be better off without me,
Just like my parents had I never been born.
Perhaps my father may still be living,
Perhaps mother may have never needed to mourn.

I'd like to say I'm sorry,
That there is no reason for my living death,
However, long ago I swear,
I thought by twenty one my heartbeat may have left.

So I suppose I'm sorry,
That any of you ever needed to meet me.
And I am so very sorry,
That I lived through the needle that should have let death be.

I can hear her
Her mesmerizing melodies calling me
Tempting me
I sway to her music
Fill my veins with her voice
And we are one again.

She covers me like a blanket
I can feel the warmth of her love
In my secret places
Its dark inside
And I'm afraid
But she is with me
Holding me
And I am safe.

When she leaves
My soul aches for her embrace
I hunger for her touch
I want to disappear
To leave her as she left me
But her lethal love injections
Are all that I know
And I am weak
And I can hear her
Her mesmerizing melodies calling me
Tempting me
I sway to her music
Fill my veins with her voice
And we are one again.

My lover wants me dead
But I have given her my heart
Sealed our love with a kiss
Till death do us part.