I should have let go
The night told me so
It ran its fingers across my confidence
And gripped it tight
Dragging it to depths I never knew existed

And instead of
Clawing my way back
My hands digging deeper into the stars and making my way towards my home
I faltered at the home stretch
And allow myself to be dragged off to space

A space that no amount of crawling
No amount of meditating and inner-peace
No amount of kumbaya and stabbing myself in my chest
Will save me from the night that told me
I should’ve let go

Take my hand
Don’t let go
Share with me your doubts and I shall listen
Never feel that your grip is to tight
Even if my hand shall turn purple, Its nerves dying
A hand is nothing compared to an open heart
Soak your grief and
watch as it dissolves into relief

I haven’t put thought to paper since then
Because I’d thought that
If I thought anymore, you’d only see
A bitter child who threw his toys out the pram

If I thought anymore, I’d only be writing about
A heart-broken man that wanted love from
The embodiment of a soulmate
And was willing to flirt on the outskirts of deaths embrace
And ignore all rules imposed
For a fairy-tale understanding of destiny

If I thought anymore, I'd have to look within
At the selfish man that should've
Stepped away and moved off the edge ages ago
But has instead, decided to
Dangle his heart off the cliff
And throw it away, into the darkened pit below

Time has past since then
And still I think, though I’m less inclined to share now
Time has healed some things
Birds are spry come morning but
As I’ve said, to the shadows and the sun

Time cannot mend an adamant fool who wishes...

It’s been weeks
Weeks, I say!
The sun stirs me from my dark nights
Leaving me with an unfamiliar...warmth?

I don’t despise it
It’s been a welcome change from
The sunken eyes and
Miasma of unpleasantries

Now the sun
bathes me in its glow
Never afraid to
Burn me with its tremendous affection and adulation
I can feel it's joyful intentions

However,
Even birds must land
And when they land on gravelled road
Their wings sore from their journey
So too, they whimper towards the night sky
Hoping for anything to listen to their woes

It’s been weeks
Weeks, I say!
The sun may be my friend
But the night is family

It hears my yearning
Like a cat of the alleys
That shrieks and hisses
Fending off the night’s terrors

It listens in its silence
And utters nothing but thought
And sometimes
That's more than enough.

I am disengaging with reality
I don't mean to but
I've measured my days in unrequited affection

Each day ends the same
Never is there a change
The sun still tumbles out of existence
Releasing a shroud of turpitude, for me to cloak myself in

Watching doves has become an annoyance
Daydreaming on how easy they can fly anywhere
With whomever they wish
I draw my knife and poke it against my temple
And feel the wetness of frustration tread lightly

Down it drips,
Splashing against wanted hips
Staining painted fingertips
Solidifying a destined kiss
Down, it drips

All I'm left with
Is a streak of
unrequited affection
Hoping it fades someday

But for now, it drys
Giving me the mark
Of unbridled emotions
In the shape
of a caged mourning dove.

Splayed roses
Dying gracefully in their plastic vase
The stale scent of cocoa
Mined from the tropics and shipped
To our disorganised abode

The day is done
The sun sneaks back
Slumped birds rouse

And here I find
That I still
adore you.