I think I'm cooked,
I feel the ache I longed for.
I'm restless, but I think
I got what I wanted.

I keep checking
and I keep thinking
about you and how you
might be thinking about me.

I don't think there's a future.
I don't think this will be
anything but the ache.
But I guess I never wanted more.

In another life
we wouldnt have to hide and you wouldn't have to lie
In another life
Maybe I was the muse and not the artist the writer not the actor
In another life
The future wouldn't be just plans but our dreams will be
in another life
I would be the risk not the cost the getaway not the dreamer
In another life
maybe we were like the movies and we could escape this life
I hope I find you in the next life

If only I could stare into your deep blue eyes forever,
that I might get a glimpse into your soul.

If you'd dance with me once more,
so I can feel your hands on my waist.

If you kiss me just once,
I'm afraid you'd make me believe in love.

If you return,
do not knock,
the door has memorized your hands.

If you leave,
do not turn back,
the wind carries only forward.

You always point out every flaw dad
Always reminding me of everything I do wrong
You never cared how I felt dad
Always comparing me to someone else
I already know how stupid I am dad
Believe me I’ve been told thousands of times
That’s why I want to move away from you
You’ve made me feel alone dad
While still saying you’re my friend
I cared but you didn’t
That was my problem I accept responsibility for that
But the hardest part about letting go is that
I’ll never hear you running after me
Deep into the cold

The things I do
For your approval
And your excitement
For my accomplishments
Usually aren't healthy
Or good
For me

The things I lose
For your happiness
And your calmness
Usually are the things that make me feel that way

The things I cover up
For your agreement
And support
Usually are the things I care about most

Don't tell me
I'm being disrespectful
When it's simply impossible for you to stay pleased for more than a few moments
I try
And I try
To no avail
I am done trying

I have opinions
Thoughts
Feelings
If you don't like it
Don't see me
That's what I wanted
To begin with

It's already late
Still hours worth of work to do
I fear I won't sleep

I may not believe in a god(s)
But that does not mean that I do not have a religion

I believe in poetry

I guess the medication worked
I don’t feel depressed

I don’t feel anything anymore