Graceless facades---
The tiring age old game
Of mindless testing
Grows heavy beneath the brow.
The charade is hard to sustain---
Sometimes impossible---
Yet we must bear it
Time after time after endless time.
The cold fire keeps rolling,
Pushing testing the old confines
Beneath the eyes---

How much longer.....

She roams through El Dorado’s ancient golden ways,
She gazes from black spires of Xanadu,
She walks through green Lothlorien’s unclouded days,
She muses long on Ilium’s deep blue...

I’ve seen her in the chamber of the silver’d doors,
I’ve heard her when the loon in moonlight screams,
I’ve felt her walking silent over marbled floors...
I’ve been with her in echo-haunted dreams...

Burger and fries
At a roadside stand
Constant buzzing of the flies
Under an angry yellow sun

The mustard dripped down from the hamburger
Onto her brand new dress

She stared down at it

When she looked up,
There was a tear in her eye
The single glistening salt tear
Of her frustration, her anger

Harold, she said
He didn't hear her, continued to eat
Harold, she said again louder,
Choking back a plaintive sob,
I didn't think it would be like this
He looked up, uncomprehending
Like what, he mumbled
Like this, she cried, our honeymoon,
At a ******* hamburger stand
He blinked and swallowed
I want a divorce, she screamed
This is a nightmare

His mind plodded through grease
He found an answer
But we haven't had *** yet, he said
Oh, she said quietly
She thought about that for a second
And then started eating her burger again

At the time of night that men call 10:30,
I sit in a corner bar by myself,
Watching two tables---
Clusters of life and sound---
A softball team and their wives/girlfriends/lovers
Drinking softly into the evening

A child's face, released from mother's side,
Floats around the tables,
Serene and white in tavern dusk,
Asking a quarter from each adult
Until finally someone gives him one
To make him gone

And for the millionth time
I look into the mirrored tile behind the bar
And see you there beside me

You're looking down---
Digging through your purse---

And the wound that never heals
Opens just a little more---
A quarter's worth---

I had a love, I swear I did;
I know it must be true,
Because my soul still bears the mark,
The imprint of her hand.
In desperation, before the mirror, wide I rip my shirt,
And search, with manic eyes, the reflection bared therein.
Surely there must be a trace, a mark, a sign,
An inscription, a signature, anything at all
Upon the space above my heart.
Maddened, I scan the breast endlessly.
Nothing.

I had a love, I swear I did;
I know it must be true,
We shared our selves, our life, our love,
One body, mind and spirit.
I know that she was mine, I know;
She told me it was so.
But here I am, where she is not,
Mumbling like a crazed and sorry fool;
And sooth, I know that she is better off without me,
So tell the truth now,
That at least you owe yourself;
At least that motley sum;
Look in the mirror once again, no flinching, hold it steady;
A prize I ain’t.
So at least pretend to be a man,
You sniveling little *******.

Turn your eyes inward,
Follow the flight of the soul.
Chase it down the corridors of self,
Watching where it flies
Trailing fear and electricity---
Until safe upon the inner trails,
It stops to rest,
Weary from shock.
Circle behind,
Catch it unaware,
Grill it over a low flame
For ten minutes.
Add potato salad.
Serves one.

I saw you again last night, real and near and true---
And knew that, if I found The Right Word
(not good words, or convincing words;
only The Right Word would do),
You would turn and see me,
And know, clean and clear,
Like the ringing of a bell,
That though the years have blurred
My face and mind and touch,
Still there within my heart,
I hold you near and well,
More tenderly, I swear,
Than I have words to tell.

Then I woke, and found I was alone,
And The Right Word slipping back,
Away from daylight mind,
Back into the midnight of my soul---

I will find it yet, this I vow---
And if the Universe has truth or heart,
I will be allowed to speak it to you.