One plus one doesn't always equal two
Because he calls me when he's been drinking
Even if he's with you
He tells me my flower is beautiful rare and exotic
And that my insanity is too
Oh how he'd love to love me
Because we are stuck in the quick sand
Flies in the honey
And maybe it's just too easy
And just too hard
Not to stop
The more you fight it the deeper you sink
The more you fight
The deeper you sink
I'm going to die
Here
Stuck on one plus one

Endlessly lethargic
The power of sleep is great with me
A laggard sloth never wakes
never moves
but dreams with much creativity
slow moving somber slumber
How much I can sleep
drifting with ease into coma
how much easier it is with belly full
Falling into that dream assembly
drifting dragging drowning
Better than anyone I can promise
Can stay in bed for a whole week
How wonderful how simple
it is for me to sleep

Life is just a theory
Every break through
Every thought and idea
Every problem and solution
It changes
We don't know
Until we know
So I will forever never believe
The "truth"

You're not a real boy you're just an idea
This is all in my head
(And in my head I'm still crazy about you
And you're still crazy)
In real life I am

The mad one. The sad one. The bad one.

The fly buzzing in your ear
The pebble in your shoe
A grain of salt
Red meat still with the skin
A flickering light bulb just about to
go out

Matter taking up too much space
Matter that doesn't matter

And sin
And *nothing

She is my oldest friend
With eyes like windows
To her soul
And a heart like thick white paste glue

Sticking to anyone who dares to touch it

(The young kindergarten boys who ate it
Because it smelled good and **** it back out again
And that one girl with a polka dot face
Always got it in her hair)

She is my dearest friend
Tired and weary
From holding up the earth
On her turtle shell back
She takes small planned breaks from the world
In 5 minute intervals
And pretends they are vacation

Everyone tells her she's worth more
her eyes say she feels alone
I try to tell her she's not alone as well

But of course I am talking to
myself

Every night
It's 3 am
Dead hour
The heals are awake
The heals are alive
A body without a soul
Is a corpse of course
Lifeless limbs
Still walk
In the dead hour
Some say they're gone
I say just broken
Hickery tickery tock
Hourglass breaks
There goes the clock
Birds chime away in the heads of the insane
They are searching for something
In the nothingness of black
Staring at the ceiling
Does the ceiling stare back?
They think about outer space and stars
Insomnia and insomniacs
And healers and mystics
of all kinds
But there is no light to be seen
and every night
It's 3 am
The dead hour

We all know
No future
The queen is dead

God is dead also

So why aren't we free?

my little blue boy
In the cardstock full moon
Don't you know you always go away too soon?
It's like looking through glasses too strong of a prescription
The lines are all hung up tangled and torn
Mismatched worn
right down to the umbilical cord
From a dusk morning
To a dawn night
Ugly ducklings not too ready for flight
And I'm singing a song to you
(Not that you can hear it
But I'm singing)

Walk down the road of the starving artist
No friends
And drugs are harmless
We eat rats
We are rats
Lurking and observing
Everyone and everything

To calm a beast
To wash the dirt out of southwest
To soothe the raging storm
To move bones and black poison
To quiet a locomotive mind
To be the sunshine in California
On your winters day
I promise I will

Space is the womb
Of an unknown mother
In which the universe is waiting to be born

Pink downy flakes on a baked orange florescent
Drifting calmly into the night
The day has ended
Smooth and lazy
Like a tabby on a sultry summer afternoon
And it feels like tenderness or nostalgia
Or a dream
the tranquility of a light breeze
trees of deep mantis green and birds of all kinds
Sing a lullaby
As crickets come out for the finally
The world floats into sleep

Stranger living in this
world all alone

I know your journey
Is strenuous
Long

But don't ask me to
And please don't call

Just keep on walking
Ramble on

I used to be gorgeous at one time
With long flowing dark deep hair
And skin and eyes to match
Then one day
My skin grew pale
My eyes stale
And my smile corroded away

Maggots in my sockets and
Bugs squirming through my thoughts

All beauty gets wasted

And I was intoxicated too

Shatter that glitter
Dark blue glass
Christmas bulb
And I'll pray they all go out
All at once
Leaving eyes blind as they should be
Blind as you should be
Sitting there with your nothing
Muttering to yourself in the pitch
Saying something about how I don't understand
And
something about how I lie
If you were awake
at least half as awake as you say you are
It wouldn't take so long to pull the sleep out of your eye
It wouldn't take so long
even in the dark
to see

When the cold comes
When the lights go out
When promises are broken
When tears fall
Broken glass
Plastered walls
Eggshell
Tawny
Gray
Misery will never fail anyone at all

oh onerous one,
I'll love till my last
Breath, a breaking bluster,
That will corrode my insides.
I shall not worry,
About these organs.

All that remains is an empty
ship, sailing seven seas.

An unconditional love with the deep blue,

To forget about my love for
Thee.

Write something with meaning
Write something with substance
Read between the lines
Think of something
Think of anything
Importance possibly

make
someone somewhere somehow stir
Inside


And I will then exist.

To the wicked widow that ***** the life out of her mate
To the tiny little fellow that crawls through my window and greets me with a goodnight kiss
To the brown girl with long legs that's sitting in my driveway
To the acrobats and the practical jokers
To the boy I saw at midnight looking for food in my kitchen
To the beautiful yellow girl who I used to see hovering over my swing set when I was a child
To the fast runners, the trappers, and the waiters
To the dangerous, and the harmless
To all the tricksters in the world

*I ******* hate you.

Gonna be a conman,
Selling ******* to the masses,
Handing out bibles and rose colored glasses.
Life's just an ironic joke.
We're all just pawns in a stalemate game,
the place where everyone showed up ,but, no one really came.
Crooks learn to cook,
Mold grows behind refrigerator doors.
Those people on the street are zombies and, ******.
White, red, and little blue lies.
Parasites that feed,
And what do they really need ?
Fill up your cup  halfway with water,
But just so you know there's a hole in the bottom...

Every single person on the planet could drop
dead this second.
Life would still go on.

Some
Bleed blue
a bitter cold
river that drifts along ever slowly
Ever peaceful
Filled with thousands of perfect downy pebbles
each the exact shape and size
as the last
it trickles down all of the hills and mountains
to lower ground

Iced and frigid
It comes from the heart
to the vein and artery
to the lung
around the stomach and intestines
up the spine
down the spine

to the wound.

They watch the moon
Pitch
Ravens in the night
singing to death
soft sweet mournful songs
Blood and guts
wash down the streets
in sloppy waves of crimson red
Three little ravens singing
*"Every little thing is going to be all right."

You and I
Me and you
we all keep going
living our lives
believing everyone in the world are
like night and day
but believing this
I do suppose
makes us
same.

The stars and palms
hold all the secrets of the world

And I'll never let go
chasing the cat down the back ally
sun shines slumping
into
my baked brown skin
It smells like old summer rain

and laughter

One day it'll be gone
and I do not need
the stars
the palms
or Mrs.Sally's water well

to tell me

You are the fish in the sea
But
I am a bird.
And a pigeon at that.
Not even a gull.
But
The gull will probably gut you.
I mean eventually,
will.

A writer for the right
But what if the write
is wrong?

and it doesn't matter
if anyone reads this or
not

It shall be a part of her soul
captured in words
Left behind for the world
Turning herself into something
more

tangible
something more real
something you can hold
something you can feel.

simply because no one else would,

and one day her soul will be all used up.

Your face is so clear
It's almost blank
Cold hard see-through
Looking glass
I stare through you
to the other side of the world
I can see the gases of Venus
Smooth and milky
Swirling and colliding with each other
as if the whole planet may just melt
away

A single drop of water
can contain thousands of microorganism.
Looking beyond the surface
to find
we have left our eyes behind.
Yet, we still believe everything ever proven to be true
Just as the Earth sits
a single drop of water,
falling from the sky into deep cerulean blue.

My feelings are words never written.
My thoughts are alive, never dead.
Yet, here lies a naked barren page before my fingertips
The way I would imagine I would lay within your bed.
The ways you taunt me and,
all I get is an embarrass red.
It continues to deepen and deepen,
to think of all the foolish things I've
said.

And the hardest part
is feeling as if you don't belong.
You write,
but, no one cares about your self expression.
You are not a tortured soul or a free spirit.
The only thing incredible about you,
is how incredibly ordinary you really are.
and you are.
You have no hopes, no talents, no dreams.
Only finding it increasingly difficult to find your place in this
elaborate scheme.
You think to yourself,
"Does everyone feel this way?, or is it just me?"
Constantly counting down the days until you can
just simply
*be

liquid light
comes creeping down the hall
tonight is the night
I am gone
drifting into another world
is this really real
or is it all a dream
what is reality but a perception of the mind
anything I believe could be real
what is life but made up stories from our kind

I notice
feet first
soul second
as they dance around
circles of sounds
one being
one spirit
  
     suddenly I am ashamed

lack of concentration
ignorance of life
things done
things said

things forgiven

Only the things we do not notice
are the ones that are the most real..*
Teach me how to love
and teach me how to feel
Why is it all your songs sound so sad?
You're the man in the moon who teaches me bad
in a cool colored waterscape...filled with purples and blues...
You will pull the tides back and forth forever.

I will runaway,
my love
until black falls like a shadow on the hills of dismay
and only in my mind shall your fingers caress the valleys of a soul
that is inevitably entwined in the majesty of your existence
I will run.
I will run and run from the haunting breath that is coming in warm and horse on the back of my neck.
I cannot stand this unbearable vulnerability.
I cannot stand the way your eyes are frigid yet so comforting as you control me with a mystic unknown .
you make me do everything you wish
such a deviant mind control trick.

In a golden haze
I spell out your name
with my fingertips
across his hand
It's too bad that no man could ever understand
           We are Together always
When night falls and the sky is a pitch blanket
with small sparkling holes
sending us their light back from the dead
Galaxies from far far and beyond
The moon hangs in all its glory from an
invisible string
like the one that connects us
An invisible unbreakable twine
That has stretched through space
and time
Until the moon falls down
Until the moon falls down...

we lay in a bed of rosemary and thyme
for the seven days god took to create the world
Adam named all of the animals
while Eve ate the forbidden fruit
I chase serpents and tear rabbits with my teeth
all in the sake of sweet and dripping meat
oh sinners will sin
oh sinners will sin
and while the saints preach
I will achieve all of the passion
all of the unwanted children in my dreams

Inspiration has left me
begging for some pain.
I just don't care anymore,
waiting day by day.
The sun breaks through the clouds.
Faces are so pristine.
you won't read this anyway,
no one will,
because happy moments
never ever create anything as beautiful as
a feeling of melancholy gray.

Oh keep telling yourself
the cup is half full
keep pretending
pretending you're no
small minded fool
smile and smile away
smile until your smile fades...

on the slightest breath
the hot moisture begs
and you are taking me to the brink
and back
pin my butterfly
in the sweet drifting light that bathes
skin creamy delicate and barren
who ever turned this into something baleful?
in all your actions of benevolence  
this one shall not be benign
curtains will billow
and the violin will blare
with sounds luscious and blithe
the pinning of my beauty
the keepsake of my butterfly

There is only flesh
and no fantasy
There is only leather
and no lace
There are only clouds
and no clear
There is only ****
and no fear

You're just a rat in the drain
guilty with no pain
If they're against you
they're insane
Riot and riot away
because the truth behind the puppet show
is not so hard to see
The truth behind the puppet show is the puppeteer is
me
cold ****** killers and reality TV

God is dead
as are all the minions
scouring away at every single
dollar
every single catch
not a church
will sing
redemption will not ring
and there will not be a refresh button
on this page
only critiques on how this poem ought to
be

I'm a writer writing about a writer who writes about
stories told at cocktail parties
and spirits in the hotel
a beautiful woman
an innocent child
lust, love, out of luck
the death of a venerated character
stories much more popular than my own
I'm a writer writing about a writer who
is an alcoholic
who has a beautiful woman
and an innocent child
and a knack for neglect

We all just want to know
when blood goes stale
and skin grows pale
where do we go?
Why do we cry at another loss of another life
when they are in a "better place"?
I just want to sink away into a oblivion of time and space
to deal with emotions no more
to deal with death no more
to deal with stress no more
to melt in two
I just wanna leap down the rabbit hole
Go away to a magical place
where sunlight sparkles with glamor
and white petaled flowers grow
Where there are no worries
only bliss
simple..bliss
and the place I call home

you said my soul is crystal
and yours is indigo
you said we were meant to be together
but that was quite sometime ago
only true love lasts
but that doesn't mean
that everything will be perfect
like how it ought to be
I pace back and forth
pondering why
because nothing really matters
except
father earth and mother sky
I can see Aura Borealis  
outside my window
and even though the air is frigid
and my feet are cold
things are the way they ought to be

oh the sick rejection won't go away
there you are in the back of my mind
every single day
it's been 3 years
we both have moved on
but still there is pain
in my stomach
it aches
it's not the butterflies
or the simple bug
it's the pain of loosing you
loosing what I love
we talk and flirt
but you'll never be mine
only a boy who makes a tortured soul out of me
only a boy who makes me cry

He asked me if I was smiling*

all I can think to say
because these words
right here
right now
are inconsequential
trivial
insignificant

....yet perfect...

oh sweet memories
on the concrete
of a broken dream  
stare into me like a crystal ball
I see no future
nothing at all
there is only your satin flesh
that burns red embers with every simple caress
speak to me only with your eyes
words mean nothing
the words are all lies
not a thing can contain this passion inside
yearning for a delicate touch that makes me sigh
longing for you like the moon longs for the sun
waiting alone
in the pitch night sky

She hears whispers down the corridor
and laughter down the halls
She hears her heart breaking
because you never called

Another one night stand
Another drink
Another man

all for this crazy little thing called love

She dreams of genies in bottles
Her blood runs thin

Hopeless
Lost
and loveless

And there comes a time
when we all ask ourselves
why.