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"One final gift", I surely hope it fits.
One missing kiss, that soon I'll wish to forget.
But I don't believe in wishes anymore.
A message from my balding scalp and dying follicles. Just acting out as testaments, of how I had tried too hard. Of how I had tried too hard to figure out all the wrong things. And how I had went all out with them, and then went all out, without. And so now, with all this done, I am all out of everything. Out of my mind, out of control, out.. Of you. Out of the love I was so sure would hold so true. The love I was so, so sure had held.. So, so true... So now complacency and naïveté has brought ME, Out of a body which was once a temple.. MY temple. My hiding place and holy sight. My prayers going forwards towards a brighter future, where everything worked out with the moonlight and with our cosmically charged super stars aligned, and it all worked out with such giggles and bright skies. Bright skies all to spite the moonlight for being a nighttime thing... And we were to be so sweetly enveloped; in figuring it all out, and everything.
His stump finger nails traced your shoulder blades, and you couldn't feel that sensation anymore; he chewed it away. And he chewed it away unknowingly, but truly, he should have known... Should have known he was gnawing at you every time he was anxious, or angry, or wouldn't listen or COULDN'T UNDERSTAND. Every time he. Just wasn't. THERE... He just wasn't there anymore...He chewed himself away... He chewed and chewed until there were only smears of blood and pus, and nothing left to reflect on but a hang nail. A hang nail, now, just waiting awhile longer to grow a short length longer so something, SOMEONE... or anything... Could manage to clip it. Tear It. RIP. IT. OUT. As quickly as you could, as quickly, as a band aid. One, that turned out to be such a temporary solution, the irony being he was the stepping stone he had once thought you were, the irony being you were the whole pond, the one you had once thought he was... maybe... So Kicking, and screaming... Yeah, maybe. but that hang nail will be out and that hang nail will be healing. That hang nail will go away, so YOU. One made of such goddesses fire, who forges worlds with such fire like lies, but with such a body and soul to behold. You, who left a love which had left him so inspired; will be okay, and YOU will be alright... Because when his stump fingers traced your body, the only trail that he left behind was that of two beings, who were soaked in blood, with a love gone, a love un-stoked. You will be okay because the only thing you had left to feel, was something that once was, and the only feeling that's left of this whole ordeal seems to be... Something, is so, so, far away... A feeling, feeling much like someone screaming, "What, used to be?.."
I'm all to blame then... I wish you spoke more openly about what I was doing to you...
My muse was loving you.
My muse was being hurt by your love.
But you not loving me.
Your realization of never truly being in that love,
That isn't a pain I can even begin to write about.
Knowing that I could have changed all this had I been older and more grown? That's a story that hasn't been read yet. As if it will ever be opened...
Good luck, my lost love,
I'm so glad, you found someone.
I'm not mad anymore, it's wonderful
That he could do, what I can't fulfill.
Okay i'm a little sad I couldn't fulfill tho.
The most romantic thing I can do right now,
Is let you fall in love.
Hopefully will come back to this. Just not enough words in my head yet.
We were just so young.
I was oh so small.
I swear that it was love,
Although I wrecked it all.
Don't think this one's quite finished... there's alot more i'd like to say about it.
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