My world is falling, crumbling apart, life is meaningless & that's just the start
My hearts so sore, I can feel it breaking & I swear to god it leaves me shaking
Late at night till early in the morning, lying in bed eyes wide open. Didn't sleep last night, like all the others, instead I just lie crying in the covers
Quick, wipe away all the tears before they come near.  
Must hide this depression & the feelings of fear.
For all they know, I'm happy & always smiling, but deep inside my soul is dying
I can feel it rotting, it wants to scream, but I won't let it... not for the time being
I can never tell them how I feel because the happiness I wear to them is real
For them to hear that I wish I was dead…….
it would **** them, they'd be filled with dread
So I'll try my best not to be selfish, I'll keep my secret hidden & just let them rest
but god I can't take it much longer... I'll probably be dead before they even wonder.
Sometimes I just can’t escape the demons inside.
How can I tell about the constant war inside?
Everyone would disbelieve in what I say. Unable to
contain what I feel.  They all say that this isn’t real.
How could they, how could they ever say that they understand,
Understand how I feel?
What can I do, to suppress the pain?

The breeze brushed her hair,
as she sat on the docks of the ocean
watching as the waves climbed up the rocks
as her love, her care casts itself farther away from her

As she turns to walk away from the edge, as her black dress slips
effortlessly into the darkness
she hears her name, but she has heard it too many times to want to listen to the voice calling.
she keeps walking further into the darkness

Her hope had been lost,
her care no longer lived,
and as for her love
she had none left.
the light she once felt was gone
it was cast away like everything else.

like her love,
her care,
and the only hope she had ever felt and will ever feel again.
and yet when she turned back to the dock,
the black waves still climbing up the rocks.
the dock still rotting from age,
and her still standing,
letting the darkness consume her.

She lays in the swallowing darkness of her room,
with the radio on,
music bringing back painfully happy and heart wrenching memories.  The boy that she loved,
shot her through the heart.  
Lyrics of songs, lyrics that hold little to no meaning to others,
but mean the world to her.  
Nothing has come close to,
easing the ache,
the pain.
Try as she might,
she can no longer conceal what is inside.
This is almost too much for her.
She doesn’t know how much longer she can hold on.

It's the time for Cold Floors,

Break out the Fuzzy Socks.

Bring in some Chopped wood,

from Outside.

Sit by the fire, nice and toasty now.

BUT wait!

It can get even better.

A nice warm mug of apple cider, or hot chocolate.

No matter how much others complains about this weather,

it fits me perfectly.

BItter air outside.  Making breathing hurt a little.

Such a wonderful sting, And the Numbness too!

Dark, cloudy, gloomy days are the best, and is when I’m happiest.

Its like nature is showing the world,

what’s inside my head.

During fall and winter, no

New marks

appear.

Why would I need to make more?

I’m already experiencing the comforting sting of the cold,

And the easing pain from breathing

this wonderfully bitter air.

please
get out of my head.
get
out
of
my
head!

it's so painful to have you here
yet i'm always fighting for you to stay
so do me a favor
just get out
i know you don't care
you don't act like it
you ignore me
you neglect me
you reject me
and yet you said you loved me?

how could you?
to be honest..
how could i?
to fall for your lies...
i'm such a **** fool
why do i love you? it makes no sense
i have to block you for some peace, until i come crawling back in hopes of gaining your attention

it hurts so much
all of this,
caring about you.
i'm crying so much
i took my glasses off
i can barely see the screen on which i'm typing
almost like i can barely see my feelings as something important to you

sigh
i have so much to do
homework
studying
meditation
i even have a potential relationship
and yet i can't do any of it
none of it keeps my focus
why?
because of you!
why can't you listen to my plead?
i don't know

Please,
Just!
Get!
Out!
Of!
My!
Head!

before i blow you out with a bullet.

Touch me with your hand, my dear,

Pull me close , against your chest.

Hold me in your arms, my dear,

Your heart beat, giving me rest.

Let my hands, my dear, caress your skin,

Feeling your warmth, my dear,

The warmth within.

Let me lie curled, my dear,

Your back, touching mine.

I don’t can’t just your heart.

I want your flesh, your skin,

and blood, and bones, your voice,

your thoughts, your pulse, and most

Of all, your fingertips, everywhere.

I used to believe that love should

feel like a storm, passionate,

raw and raging.  But so many storms

have come and left her more broken

than before.  Now, she looks for a

Love that feels like the night after

the storm is over.

Or else she may be whisked away,

by the distant memory of what she lost.