In the night as you sleep,
I miss you and your touch.
Its so lonely without you here.
I have to face my fear of being alone.
You text me throughout the day,
When happy, sad or stressed.
You instinctively run to me,
And that warms my heart.
You're the one I think of,
Each minute and hour.
Am falling in love with you.
I need you to stay.

Am at that point where you see
Everything is not as it seems
things that used to be fun
Aren't as good as they were.
Even fun might be spelt fan.

Sadness fills my bones
Like a crushing weight
Taking the life out of my body.
tears well up
As I sink to the ground.
I can't do this again,
the agony of losing you
Another you
I lost you once already
and now you're leaving again.
it seems you don't care
That am dying inside
Every breath aches
Burning its way down my chest.
My arms wont work
To Ward off the pain.
Slowly sinking to depression
cold inhumane feelings
of worthlessness.
I will never be enough
to make you stay.
If only I were nothing like me
You might love me some more.
I really hoped this was something
That would be everything.

I want to wake up next to you
Snuggled in your arms
listening to your heartbeat.
Hold you close and inhale
your sweet musky scent.
Know it will always be
a fairy-tale made by the best
feels so right and great.

I don't want to have to leave,
part ways knowing we can't be
Together one more day
one whole night, a moment.
Time would be so kind
to freeze and give us eternity
Cause I would need forever
to tire of you.

We all make mistakes
Cause we aren't all knowing
Can't avoid the bumps
Of things foreseen.
It's not to end to lose control
Life can't fit in a box
That you tape and close.
There are ugly ghosts that escape
Like wisps of smoke
etch their way into reality
ruin your dreams and hopes
Tantalise you with whispers
Of what could be.
Allow yourself to live
Forgive yourself for trusting
And keep on loving
With all your heart.

Had I known it was the last time I would see you,
I might have stayed away.
You see, it's easier to dream about you.
The way you look at me then glance away,
the half knowing smile on your lips.
Sometimes how you pull me in for a hug and don't let go.
I think of you and all the things we could do.

Instead I came to see you,
heart fluttering in my chest.
The door was unlocked,
You weren't alone.
Watching you with someone else tore me apart.
You couldn't hear me whimper over the sound of your laughter.
I walked away, barely seeing through the tears pooled in my eyes.
I left my heart at your door in pieces.
Put it in an envelope marked 'Do not return' and slid it under your door.
I didn't want it, would not need it.

Had I known there would be no other time,
I would hold on to you and not let go.
Tell you I loved you over and over.
Give myself up and put you first.

I wanted to see you and talk to you,
Remind you of our first date.
Where you were so awkward, all you did was stare.
I was no nervous I giggled at each joke you said.
We made a bumbling mess of our first kiss.
I thought it would be forever together.

If I had known it was goodbye,
I wouldn't have come skipping to see you.
Bubbling with ideas of what we could do.
I would have stayed away and dreamt of you and I.
I could have stopped myself from walking into a fast moving car.

I am craving a cuddle like a smoker needs their
fix.
My heart's racing, fingers twitching and thoughts scattering.
I want you, need you, can't have you.
My breath hitches in my chest,
Temperature rises and I break in a sweat.
I am suffocating, losing my calmness.
I draw on my inner strength, deep breaths.
Panic seizes my unrest.
I need something, anything to take my mind off the stress.
I need you.
Do be my fortress.

You lay me down and then I fall for you
Staring into your liquid eyes
Drawing me in like a thread through a needle's eye.
You hold me fast
Like snug cloth over skin.
Hugging me close.
With every passing moment
I am drawn more to you.
Sharing my days with you
whiling the hours away
I want to spend my nights with you.

Of all the things I gave up
You hurt the most.
I needed you day by day
You were my walking cane
Helped me through each step.

But you threw it all away
Stopped caring for me.
For how was I to know
Your interest had waned?
You couldn't tell me to my face.

If you do love me
How is it that you hurt me
Time and time again?
It's like you don't care
About my needs and pain.

And so I set you free
You don't owe me anything
If you have somewhere to be,
Go.
Just stop breaking my heart
I deserve better.

It felt like goodbye when you held me,
Loosely like you didn't crave my warmth.
Your breath was relaxed and you went to sleep as we lay in each other's arms.
You couldn't meet my eye and I knew it was over.
I chocked back my tears hoping you wouldn't feel the sobs racking my body.
You went to sleep so am guessing you missed it.
It felt like goodbye when you watched me leave.
You made no move to hug me or ask me to stay.
The mild confusion in your eyes comforted me into thinking maybe I was wrong.
You didn't say a word though,
I heard goodbye in the silence of the air.
You didn't call and I felt you let go,
In the anticipation of a call that never came,
The sorrow of an expectant heart beating on even after its broken.
I cried and you didn't hear the screams of my shredded sanity.
I felt your goodbye in the love that smothered my hope,
When you didn't say anything.

Goodbye my lover
Even though am crying as I speak into the phone
I know it's for the best.
You have been everything to me
But you have broken my heart
irreparably into little pieces.
I still feel you next to me
When am asleep and curled up
Your arms around me
Holding me by your side.
You muttered her name
one night in my bed
She that took your heart
And lay in my place.
I knew then that it was over.
I will always remember you
Goodbye my friend.

Today I stand at the brink
With nothing but my ink.
And peer down at the masses
Doing all forms of dances.
Swarming as they  wait
For the actual date.
For me to reach my peak.
Something that kept them meek
One day they will believe
After putting me through the sieve
that I will become greatness.

There have been places
Where I spent a day, night
wished I could stay a while.
It's my happy place
Where I can dream of us
A future painted on canvas
any way we want it.
In my dreams you are whole
the embodiment of my wants
I feel you here
Like a warm blanket.
Keeping me safe.
I wake to fading colours
of what you were.
You are a mere fragment
Of what I need you to be.
Sometimes I wish you were
Everything I needed.
You to be strong
To hold me and protect me.
But you're only human
With faults and flaws
Imperfections to the brim
I don't want perfect,
Just want you to be here.

The night plays it's melody
Soothing and enchanting
Luring you into a spell
A false contentedness.
Where you need your sleep.
I trudge slow
I still want to be up
Listening to your sweet voice
Having you telling me sweet nothing's
making my heart warm.
All I want is all night with you
To keep you up and love you
In every possible way.
The day's hours don't seem enough
for our loving.
Enchant me again
with your lips and touch.
Butterflies at your bidding
I want it all with you.

does the pain ever stop?
when you lose your heart
do the memories fade
when it all ends
or are we forever haunted
by the ghosts of the past
echoing our every move
your my pain and joy.

It's been 5 years since I last saw you,
Your secretive smile and weird way of cocking your head.
I miss how you used to laugh at my silly jokes.
Pull me close and just hold me.
I wonder If you visit our old haunts,
Places we used to visit when you loved me and the long winding road.
We walked hand in hand under the stars,
Dancing in the rain and listening to the wind.
I sometimes wait outside your house,
Hoping for a glimpse of you.

Have you ever been disappointed?
Like really utterly surprised
By this person you love.
They steal your heart
Build dreams with you
Make you believe it's perfect
You found everything you want
They seem too good to be true.

Have you ever been confused?
So utterly confused
Questioning yourself
about choices you have made.
Why you were so gullible
Letting someone break you
When you love someone
Should you give them everything?
or hold some part back?
knowing you will be hurt.

Shame on you and your heart
If you have one.
Cause you are tearing us apart
Piece by piece with each day
A promise not kept
a moment not treasured
One more reason for me to give up
Everything I hold dear.
Can't you see you're changing me?
Turning me into a wreck
heartbroken and desolate.
You're turning me inside out
Wringing my emotions
Bleeding out my heart.
I hope you're sorry
For breaking my heart.

You broke my heart
Actually pulled it out
Looked at and felt it
Warm and quivering in your palms
And squeezed with all your might
Till nothing was left.
I thought you cared
Was lost in your spell
Until you broke it into ashes
I will forever be broken
Unwholesome,unfinished
Because you're so cold
You destroyed me in a flash
You abused my heart
You annihilated me.

He was the kind of man to catch your eye.
Maybe not at first.
The kind of beautiful that is skin deep.
His big heart which cared more than he let on.
His desire to put others first.
His fragile nature which he hid behind jokes.
His love which was like a kite.
He held on to the string afraid to let it fly.

She was a hurricane on a rainy night.
Blowing every which way looking for home.
She soon realised home was him.
His warm arms around her.
His soft kisses which turned hungry.
The way he touched her like he would burn up if he didnt.
Together, their song built to a crescendo.
Mystical music that played each night when they came to their special place.

He was afraid but he was solid.
His commitment was more than words.
More even than empty promises.
He showed up every night for months on end.
Waiting for the girl who had sadness in her eyes.
He instinctively knew that this girl would change his life.
He let her in a little at a time.
Sometimes a lot.

She longed for the nights when he would swoop in.
His need on his skin like a fitting shirt.
His attention a caress she would feel.
She yearned for the kisses that started an inferno and the touches like he couldnt get enough.
She wanted all of him; body, mind and soul.
Wanted to know him as intimately as she did herself.
She knew that losing him would wreck her.
But she dived in anyway.
A life without him was like living in black and white.
He was her greens and gold. Her coloured tapestry.
He would be her utter ruin but he was worth it.


He touched her and it made her feel more alive.
He painted stars in her skin
And wrote his name on her soul.
He showed her that sometimes going slow was ok.
Sometimes it was ok to hear the music in each other.
And he would always come back to her.
For that was their fate.

She danced into his arms and he waltzed into her heart.
Together, they fitted like a jigsaw.
They had a connection so bright.
One that couldn't be denied.
She became his queen, his every need.
She was addicted without a doubt.
Never had they felt something so real.
She whispered over and over,
Let me in. Trust in us.
She hoped one day he would let their love bloom.


He made her feel like she was a beacon.
The light that guided him home.
He was a moth drawn to her flame and told her he wasnt afraid to burn.
He just wanted to bask in her glow.
She was his inevitable girl.
The flame that made him feel all the things he never did before.
She completed him.

I want to come home to you.
To come and walk into your waiting arms.
To lie with you and tell you about my day,
Get you to talk about yours.

I want somewhere to call home.
A place where I can feel safe.
It's only around you where I relax and let go,
You could say you're my happy spot.

I want to end my days with you,
Wake up with you.
Know that you are coming to me each day.
Let's build a home together.

We dont take no for an answer
We the sirens of the seven seas
We mark our territory
we claim who we want.
We were here first
in a land of magic.
Until the darkness came
It swallowed everything we knew
The water was our guard
It washed away the vicious dark
And what remained of the battle
Were pieces of land.
Soon people came to live
Close to the sea.
They had nice men
We were only female.
the men forged boats
To explore the water
We reeled them in
Imprisoned them in dungeons
they were under our spell
Honeyed voices wove.
They were willing slaves
We were seductive mistresses.
we had intense ******
Made more of our kind.
Their life force fostered our kind
As they died out.
The more we made babies,
the more men that died.
We needed more of them
We cast a spell.
That men will go from one to another
always searching for better
in the end only we
Their desires can satisfy.

Slowly I lose myself in drudgery
Trudging up and up the worn path
Others have taken before me.
I see the footprints single file
None return from whence we came.
I find the bones that gave way
Turning to dust or filth.
Some weren't strong enough
To withstand the struggle
Fighting for what we know not
Under masters we see not.
Wearily I keep going
This ends soon,
I hope.

Fall in love too easily,
Date someone you aren't sure loves you back.
Watch them crumple your feelings like tissue and
throw it in the can.
Let them in some more so they can rid you of
every hope and dream you ever had.
And then let them leave you,
Cause you don't deserve to be loved.
Let them define you and insult you,
Tell you how worthless you are.
Listen to how they settled for you,
And no one can love you cause you're damaged.
Believe them.
Who would want to love you?
You're little pieces of a bunch of things,
none of which fit right together.
You are weak and desperate.
You don't deserve love.
You're nothing but a test drive.

Could it be the feeling I get
that starts with butterflies
That I feel when you hold me.
Or the look in your eyes
that am perfect the way I am.
In your arms I lose time
Nothing else matters.
Cause I belong with you
Just as you belong with me.
I could lose myself in you
Cause with you I feel alive .
You make me see myself
In a different light
Or maybe am just in love
it's what you do to me.

It's been a long day,all I want to do is to run into your arms and hug you. I need to hold you and let go of the day's weight on my brittle shoulders. I am hoping you missed me and can't wait to be with me too. As soon as I walk into the door your questions start. They cut through my walls and leave me trembling on unsteady legs, my hands protecting my plummeting heart.Who was he? why did he drive me home?
I try to explain but you hear what you want to. You push me further and further away with your hurtful words. I tremble and cower, your harsh blows break the yoke of the world on me. I whimper and beg, It feels so cold out here where you left me when you walked away. I hold the pieces together with my bundle of nerves, frayed at the edges. I am lost.

I won't apologize
For things I said to your face.
Neither am I sorry,
For those I never said.
Ideas conceived in half hearted attempts to care,
after one fail top many.
Repeatedly making the same mistakes,
With the same people.
Designs made by the architect,
Or maybe revised for personal gain.

I will not uncry tears that were born
from unbearable pain I could not contain.
Wiping moist eyes with bruised thumbs,
Choking on regrets and convicted half truths.
I wear my tears like a safety belt,
To keep my body in check.

I do not regret knowing this life
That shaped me. Bent me. Built me.
I am pulp and foam,
I was made and not pre existent.
I am new.

You tell me I am not good enough
A little too round for your liking.
Can't you see my beauty in the curves that grace my body?
I am wonderful to look at and I flaunt it.
You won't see me skinny and bonny.

You say I am too emotional,
Always bickering about the little things.
Its the small things that grace our lives
With pleasure and pain.
Do you notice that I did my eyebrows for you?
So you can see my expressive eyes?
I carry the pain of the world
In my loving heart and sorrowful eyes.

Don't try to change me.
I am everything I need to be.
Proud and humble as a dove,
Perched at the peak of life.
I am who I was meant to be.
A gracious woman.

Missing you every minute the clock ticks away.
Hoping the time will fly a little faster. That this ache from being apart
will be lessened when you hold me. When you look into my eyes
and tell me I'm the one.
I think about you endlessly.
You stole my heart away.
I know our love is here to stay.
There's nothing I want more.
I promise to love you till the end.
And some more after that.
They say love knocks you off your feet. But I fell into your arms.
And I know I am safe when you hold me.
I am yours

To the place where she lay
And bled out.
Heart wrenching memories.
Pleasure,pain, loss.
She watched it seep out
In violets and reds and flashes of color.
It wouldn't be long.
She didn't want to stay in her skin.
It was clammy and itchy
Seeming to burst at the seems.
She wished for a reprieve,
A soothing calming balm
Across her battered nerves.
Her mind was bruised
From the thoughts of moments
Before and now and next.
If only she could live again.
She wondered what it would be like
To ignore the pain and get up
Walk in the sun's rays.
Up and down paved walkways.
Instead she lay in a tomb
Curled up on her side.
Shards of glass piercing her consciousness.
It hurt to exist.
She begged to die in peace,
But that too eluded her.
Like love and hope and faith.
And so she remained.
In a time removed from ours,
She was lost in a tomb somewhere between here and there.

I am not dead,
Merely missing.
Numb and lifeless
Losing pieces of me in the wind.
No, i did not die
When you set my heart ablaze.
And sent me flying off a cliff.
I merely exploded into pieces.
Tiny immemorable bits of me.
A half hearted smile here
An anguished cry as i melt
Breaking into fragments of past, present and never.
This could really be my end.
Do not come looking for ashes
To gather and keep in a can.
I won't be confined even in death
Instead go to the quietest point
Where no noise and pain linger
Listen for my heartbeat
Faint, fading and unfettered.
Call my name if you want to talk
I will whisper in the wind
Enfold you in a rush of leaves
As you stand amidst the silence
I will be here.

I wrote your name in the sand
but the waves washed it away
I love you, I love you.

I carved your name on a tree
but the bark weathered.
I want you, I want you.

I loved you once
guess I always will.
A moment for life.

If we should wake up one day
and not have love on our side
Remember that I love you
If destroyed still true.

In the air

I breathed you in
a deep tantalising fragrance
arousing all my desires
awakening like a new moon
the wet dewdrops on the leafs
the earth after the rain
a seductive scent I find
only with you.

I taste you
in the rich sauce I ate for dinner
the spicy tang on my tongue
the engrossing strong aura
of taste you can feel.

I hear you
in every song I listen to
your voice in the wind
your unique persona in every word
in the paintings hung up
I feel your warmth,touch
your essence and life
you are here.

I cant stop thinking about you
Maybe in another life
It could have been different.
You and I
Walking hand in hand
Inch by agonizing inch
Along the tightrope twined
With space for only two.
Watching glorious sunsets
Minding nothing but time
Counting how long we have
Wanting so much more.

In another life you would be
Mine as I am yours.
Kiss your lips in the moonlight
Hold you close when we hug
Whisper seductive secrets
in your ear when we aren't alone.
I would give you everything
and love you tenfold too.
Maybe you would share my bed
Give me all of you
And be my forever together.

I wonder if you think of me
as you lie in your bed
memories that are fuzzy
or crystal clear.
do u keep my picture
on your bedside table?
or is it stuffed at the bottom
of a stack of papers.
old and worn from disuse.

I lie beneath the stars and look
for your face,your smile
listen to your voice in the wind
have your picture drawn on me
a permanent tattoo
cause I need you here
in the air I breathe
in my dreams as I sleep
this must be love.

I want to look into your heart
And find myself
Nestled in a corner
Wrapped around all the space
lingering with a warmth
Vibrating with life.
Taking tours to the mind
Totally at home with you
When you love me.

I would call you up
Just to hear your voice.
Snuggle closer as you sleep.
Hug you for no apparent reason
take long walks hand in hand
Give you all my love
Make you happy.

I have loved you. Many versions of you actually. There was the boy that danced away with my heart the first time i danced. It was a star lit night and I felt like the music was meant for just you and I. We waltzed to the strains of our heartbeats pounding in unison as you breathed in my nervous breaths and i breathed in your confidence.You knew what to say, you led me on a merry chase. I had the best first dance and you walked away without a second glance. I loved the friend that always had a hug for me too. Whenever I felt sad or alone you dropped everything and came to my rescue. You were the knight to my damsel and I was giddy when you held my hand. You held me close and kissed my hand like a gallant gentleman. Again you walked away when I was safely in my tower.
I miss the lover that stole my breath and replaced it with passion. I could only think, dream and want you. You took my mind ransom and intertwined my soul with yours. I was helpless to escape your embrace. You enchanted me with serenades and promises of forever. I vowed to be yours every day in every way. You left me at the altar. You were a misty dream that assaulted my senses. I can still feel you here. You are a part of my memories, a clinging vine that never sways with the wind. I have loved you from the start, all of you. Even now that my sanity is slipping away because I can not bear the pain, I can surely say that I have loved.

I read a poem today
about life and love
it brought a rush of warmth
anticipation,appreciation
it showed me a light
in a dim dark tunnel
that maybe its not predetermined
you don't have to do
what the others have done.

I heard a song today
the lyrics got me thinking
it's not easy and not hard either
there isn't a half way point
you either go to the ends of the earth
or die trying.

I thought about you and I
call it us..
it seems surreal even when not ideal
two separate worlds
joined together by a pull;
call it a stargate
where you go I go
always only together.

that's true
apart of me is afraid
I can only be myself with you
let the ugliness out
not have to pretend to be
angelic,sweet, perfect
cause am broken
scarred and imperfect.

What if I can only be happy
lying in your arms?
and leaving you will hurt me
day after day after day
crush my spirit
burn my will to live
I don't want to be alone
not now,not when am old.

you bring out the best in me
and also the worst in me
I can't breathe without you
am claustrophobic
feeling my chest pressing me in
taking my life out of my hands.

If you love me follow me
even when I run don't let me
cause am lost without you.
hopeless,aching, weary.
write me a song
buy me roses
sweep me off my feet
be my prince charming
just show me you want me
all be alright
as long as you love me.

I loved you when I told you so,
It broke my heart to leave you then.
But you hurt me too much,
you just didn't care about my feelings.
You laughed when I screamed out in frustration.
Taking a piece of my sanity with you.
I wanted to hit you,
You broke my heart into pieces.

I loved you when I told you so.
That day you joined your lips to mine.
It was everything they said it would be.
My heart came home to you.
I hoped we would meet in between the moments we fought,
Where none of us was giving an inch.
Instead we saw different things,
You wanted less, I wanted more.

I loved you when I told you so.
I loved you then and now.
I know you're trying to get this back,
Even though you blew this to bits.
I wait for you, I pine for you,
Come back to me.