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Emma Highlander Nov 2018
Hello Monster,
I don’t know what you look like here.
But I can feel you coming back.
I knew you lived in his hands
Because it hurt
Whenever he put them on my hips
You sharpened my inhales
and they cut my heart on their way
to my lungs.
I knew how you poisoned my name
when they came out of her lips
because it sounded
like someone who looks better
with cut wrists.
she was broken anyway.
I grew to know you quite well.
You let go of my throat
and seemed to hold my hand
We were friends you
and I.
Maybe all it took was
a change of scenery.
My hair grew longer
and so did your claws.
And now I can’t see you until
I’m already bleeding.
I didn’t know how his eyes
on me, would make me
want to be skinny.
Until you were cutting away
all the parts around the edges
that had grown soft since
we stopped fighting.
Bony is beautiful
you whispered.
I didn’t know
you were in her back
until you showed me
how it bends when
it turns away from me.
I didn’t know you were in my knees
that ache now as I chase
and crave someone's lips
on me in the dark.
Because maybe someone will
want me
when they can’t see me.
When they can’t see us.
You’re back inside of me.
I know you are.
And it scares me.
Because I’m starting to see you again.
You look just like me.

Sincerely, Emma
Emma Highlander Oct 2019
put your pride down love it’s okay,
watch all your dreams and goals float away ,
does it get easier to say,
that your better alone anyway.

I seem to be losing a grip on it,
there’s nothing to do on your behalf of this,
we just grew apart , have to deal with it,
have the memories of broken bliss .

imagine losing yourself,
wishing you were somebody else,
*** they don’t want you to tell,
what you mean in this world, but hell.

stay true to you,
*** that’s what your meant to do,
if they question you,
say **** them too.
It's Not Okay . It's Not Okay . It's Not Okay . It's Not Okay . It's Not Okay . It's Not Okay . It's Not Okay . It's Not Okay . It's Not Okay . It's Not Okay . It's Not Okay . It's Not Okay . It's Not Okay . It's Not Okay . It's Not Okay . It's Not Okay . It's Not Okay . It's Not Okay . It's Not Okay . It's Not Okay . It's Not Okay . It's Not Okay .
Emma Highlander Oct 2019
you said that i was dumb
that im not fooling anyone
my words are sweet but my intentions are sour
I should just go to sleep, wake up in about an hour.

When my party’s done everyone left, you’re still here.
Telling me that i should just dissapear
Why are you still here? please just leave, god I swear.
Emma Highlander Oct 2019
I’ve been knocking for like 20 minutes
I’m getting skittish I can’t stop thinking
I’ve been drinking I’ve been stinkin
wasting time with *******

I use to love this one chick well I thought I did
I fall through the cracks and landed on my back
I just really miss it can’t describe the feeling
Now my love resembles a empty skillet no fillin
They’ers nothing left to fill it now I gotta get it
It was all a lesson I’ve been counting all my blessings
I can be me when I’m all alone and nones knows
Who I am what I doo where I’m at how I move
Who are you? How ya do? This is my truth
I gotta keep it solid cause I’m getting nauseous
Getting sick of nonsense worlds a crazy concept
But I hear em voices talking and they keep on calling
I can’t stop i gotta rock it came with empty pockets
I can't open the door, If I open the door the monster will come in... If the monster comes in then I'll be doomed.
Emma Highlander Oct 2019
Im so tired of living in pain-
I just want my head in the grave-
And pray to god im sent towards his heavenly ways-
With open arms to embrace-
And release the pain that i hate-
Cause im finished with living this way-
I made to many mistakes-
So i hope he forgives me today-
They say depression make you sicker each day-
I can see the symptoms within me eating away-
Now at a point in my life i cant turn back an change-
Mentally unstable to stay-
And i cant fix the trouble i made-
To be free of the burden i take-
I feel all alone in a world that is fake-
Why love got to hurt and treat me so great-
My mind over working the brain burning the breaks-
Dealing with hell when i let the creature escape-
And im just to tired to even relate-
got no spirit to give for what it takes-
With my feelings broken for to long-
Then i guess its just to late-
Emma Highlander Nov 2018
There is no more painful love
than unrequited love
A heart that is open
pouring out to another
but an empty space
like a vacuum
with nothing in return

Like giving a gift
‘Tis better to give than receive
And the heart offers freely
all of its wonderful presents

Free of expectations
when truly filled with love
It blindly releases itself to another
With a simple creed
‘I am for you’

Like the wall of a dam
suddenly letting go
A deluge of emotions
Thoughtful, interest, caring, warmth, love
A flowing waterfall
of Niagara proportions

However, without intention

which goes without saying
since the truer the love
the blinder it be

The vacated space
creates a sudden vacuum
A sharp, deep pit left
where once all of itself was housed

For a brief time
the heart is unaware
still glowing in the warmth
from the happiness and joy
of the love it gives

But slowly the glow fades
And the presence of the empty space
becomes more obvious
and apparent

A coldness sets in
An addict looking for a fix
The heart desperately seeks
in return what it has given

Never intending to give with strings
but so it finds itself
now tied to another
with the strongest of bonds

The intense fulfilling feeling
once experienced
Replaced with anguish,
longing, loneliness and pain

The mind and heart begin
an epic civil war
Feeling the torment
and seeing the destruction
the mind invokes all its resources
to break the bonds
the heart has created

But with hope that is
almost sad and pitiful
the heart refuses to let go
So sure of the ties it made
And fighting back with all
of its might to defeat
any attempt
the mind has
to remove the bonds of love

A man at war with himself
will find himself at war with others
And so, the inner conflict
resonates outwardly
displayed aptly with defiance
and destruction

Like a pebble in a pond
each action creates ripples
Slowly at first
but then with exponential speed
a life is destroyed
leaving only a broken
and beaten shell

And after all the destruction
and loss
All of the pain and suffering
The tears and sorrow
At this moment
standing on a pile
of nothing but debris
The mind,
with a sense of arrogance
and certainty,
confronts the heart
and pointedly asks,
“Do you see now?!
Do you see the
error of your ways??
Look what it has cost us!
Do you see the
mistake you’ve made?!”

Without hesitation or waiver
the heart responds
with a steady certainty
that is calm and cool in nature,
“No. Love is a risky venture.
One always, ‘takes a chance at love’.
But I will not admit
fault for trying.
When I love
I love freely and openly
I offer all of myself
without expectations
It’s only when you get involved
and create conflict within
that we have problems
To love is to love
It brings joy and happiness within itself
If it is not returned
then it is not returned
but an open and loving heart
can not feel emptiness and pain for it is filled with love
And there is no greater reward
than finding that love in another
and having another
find that love
in you
Life *****, Because there is to much Unrequited love
Emma Highlander Nov 2019
There Is beauty in everything

Isn't That The Point?
Emma Highlander Oct 2019
I will wait by the river
In the light of the moon
At the edge of this world
I will wait for you

No i cant wait forever
Someday ill be dead and gone
And i wont be forgiven
For what ive done

I will wait by the river

I will cry out to heaven
As it rains down on me
I will beg for forgiveness
Get down on my knees

If i cant change the weather
Maybe i can change your mind
If we cant be togather
Whats the point of life

I will wait by the river

Baby i didnt mean the things i said
I didnt honestly wish you were dead
Im a fool im just a man
If only i could hold you again

And the stars fill the river
As it flows into the sky
And the mind leaves the body
As it flows higher and higher

If we cant be togather
I will leave this world behind
If i cant touch your body
Can i touch the sky

I will wait by the river
Why Can't I wait forever? Why won't you wait for me? Haven't I done Enough to make you happy?

— The End —