Seeing the torment
Savoring the grief
Smelling the anguish
The thing under this skin prowls
Aged
Immortally blissful
******
Bitter liquid down my gullet
Its gullet
Its body
What happened
Between this mirror switching face?
I don't remember having steel gray eyes
The skin on my knuckles breaking
Nails sharpened
Senses heightened
Canines elongated
I thought
That if I had shattered this mirror
I could keep the beast in
Keep it from your eyes
But in shattering this mirror
I let it out
And it came right through my skin
An arrow tipped in blood bane
A clouded fume of smoke surrounded my eyes
And when I woke up
I saw myself  
Every part
Presented every thing done on a silver platter
Good
Bad
Horrendous
Things that should never see the light of day
Golden bells chiming the good things that I've done
Singing long forgotten praises
In a lilting reminisced language
Sapphire tears cutting paths along my unmarred skin
Blood twining down
Dancing along to the rhythm of the song
Sitting
Collapsing is more like it
Snow gliding up around me in a cloud
White dust
Not exactly as addicting as the drug  
I take it all in turning it over
In quivering palms
After all of these years
Of fighting my own self
I've finally learned how to love it all
A little more everyday
Iron glints
Nails smooth
Rounding out
Canines go back
To a reduced size and a reduced time
I look back into the mirror and see myself
Today I own a little bit more of my beast

Thoughtfully staring out behind a mug
The lip of it poised at my mouth
A flash of a smile
A hint of a rose
Black
Chai
Tea
It coats my tongue
Somehow sweet but still bitterly spice
Oddly comforting
A fallen petal
The warmth pooling
As if its been shot into my coalescing blood stream
Ripples spread out on a ponds surface
I'll love you like you were the last flower
Before a winter storm
Delicate and beautiful
Looking into the mouth
Of a frozen hell
But still refusing to bend
The way the wind wants you to
Splatters of blood on an almost white shirt
Echoes of  your laughter
Cacophonous in my own ears
A withered form of your smirk
When did this town burn?
And when did I let go of the match?
I still don't remember when everything changed
But does anyone really ever remember
Or is everything suppressed under snow coated stones

The way you look in the morning
How you think its disgusting and your hairs a wreck
You're right
Your hair is always a wreck
But its cute and mussed with sleep
Or hibernation
As I like to call it
But I never see the disgusting thing
Like maybe for you the sun just burns it away
But its not there to begin with
I'm jealous
Especially of your eyes
I joked once that
Whatever divine being got the task of tailoring your genetics
They did an experiment for science and put mood rings in your eyes
And I
I fell flat On my *** the first time I saw your eyes
Like holier than hell
Sometimes if I can't discern your mood
I will actually just use your eyes
I still love that little thing you do without noticing it
Stretching and tucking your face into your LEFT arm not your RIGHT arm
Or how your right eyebrow will just **** if something confuses you
Or just for no reason at all
I tried to help you open an ice pop over webcam
It didn't really go well
But I wanna say thank you
For the most wholesome moment I may or may not have Encountered in my life
I don't wanna laugh when you struggle but honestly could you blame me?
it was cute
I just wanted to say thank you
I could've said it by just saying those two words
But I guess this is an example of what's behind those two words
And there's so much more behind them
Thank you

Drunk on silence
Drunk on happiness
I never really knew how straight your smile was
Or how it something so simple
That only takes 43 muscles to do
Could make my heart flutter and tingle so much
You're really special
And it literally turns my smile upside down
When you go in on yourself and degrade yourself so much
Drunk on violence
On anger
I never knew that there were so many things that you could get drunk on
That wasn't whiskey
Or bourbon
Or *****
Not to mention spiced ***
Over the course of my life I learned
That you can get high on good days
And crash on worse days
I've learned that life is just a huge cocktail
Except you're in Russia
And instead of you drinking it
Savoring it's bitterly stinging caress
It savors you
It lifts you up to the edge of its lips
And takes a wonderfully large sip
Right from your life source
That's why you get up every morning
Feeling a little drained
Or that's why you don't get out of bed at all
And I know it's hard to find something to look forward to
But in the end when you find that something
Or someone
It'll be worth it
The darkness will shrivel away
And your day will get sunnier  
So please
Just keep getting up
It's worth it It won't seem like it now
But it is I promise as long as you keep getting up
It's worth it
You're worth it

Time
Has always been a bane in my existence
Counting down to when the sun rises
When my chest heaves
Tears filled with hours and minutes
The small squalor of morning
Hum of engines
The world spinning on an axle of time
Smooth click click
Of keys
A horn or so down the street
Someone's speeding again
The impending boom
The war horn of the crash
Signaling that the time for someone else's life
Is up

I want to scream I hate these lines
I hate this structured organization
They never stop and they always keep going on
Jesus just shut the hell up
Everything is too loud
Everything is going too fast
I can't handle this
My eyesight is bleeding out
Seeping through this page
Dotting it with blood
Its wonderfully terrific
Now I won't be able to see the bane of my existence
Everything in my head is too loud
It's so ****** loud!
It's ironic because when I scream
No one ever hears anything
It's all white noise
Delectable  
Dissectible
Deafening
White noise
I'm slowly swirling down into a whirlpool of madness
The worst part isn't that I'm scared
It's that I'm starting to become intoxicated by it
Haha
Help

When the stars fall by
I can't feel anything
It was my fault
No matter what I did
It would never fix anything
I was just on this frozen lake
I don't want to be here
I hate it here
It's always cold
And now that the stars I adored have fallen
There's no light
And soon enough there won't be air
And all I can do Is just stare up at this dark sky
And ask
How can this be fair?
I tried
But it was just like trying to swim without arms
And now that I'm happy
You have the nerve to be mad at me for letting go
I didn't understand you then I still don't now
I'm sorry
For what I still can't figure it out

Oh Mr. Sandman
Bring me your dreams
Ba ba ba ***
Make them the cutest that I've ever seen
Even if its just for a few seconds before Insomnia
Sweeps me off my feet
In the kitchen
We waltz
1
2
3
Cotton candy dreams
1
2
3
Feather light tonight
1
2
3
Come on let's keep going
1
The dance isn't over yet
2
I know that you're starting to break a sweat
3
Put on that mask for me
3
Let me see what you refuse to
3
You can't be what you want
2
But you can be what I've shaped you to be
2
So just sit down
1
We're almost through
1
And write what I want you to write